Turn your head and cough

I always thought the first time an Asian chick touched my balls it would be after receiving a Nuru massage (http://www NULL.xvideos NULL.com/tags/nuru-massage) with a happy ending. Google it or just click on the above line but wait until you get home because it’s NSFW and I’m not responsible if your curious ass gets fired.  You’re…

Paying for Pussy

Today I sent in my final car note payment.  I hate giving up all that money so early in the month.  It hurts my feelings but on a positive note, in three days when they receive it I will have officially paid off and own my SUV, Pussy.  The bad things is I still want…

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Fuck it Friday! – #86 – Fuck Your Coat!

Fuck this sorry ass winter storm that has had a lot of the area closed for three days!  They explained the science and hyped that we would get between 3 and 5 inches of snow and up to a half inch of ice Monday night into Tuesday morning.  What do we get? Basically a coating…

NYNMBS

New year, new me. Sike!

New Year’s Eve was just like every other day.  I probably would’ve went to sleep early but I wanted to see Taylor Swift and Meghan Trainor perform and I was trying to win a giveaway at midnight. It was supposed to be the first 2015 people to submit a completed form won but of course…

snotm-contest (tino falke) Problem

Mr. Hyde

*blows off the dust*  Anybody here? I’m still alive and kicking.  My mom is fine and Cinnamon is well, Cinnamon.  I swear that dog has issues.  Anyway, she’s recently taken to shredding things whenever I leave her for some period of time.  I came home once and started looking for a search warrant because it…

Since I left you last…

It’s been well over a month since my last update so I thought I’d throw something up.  Wish there was some super exciting news to post but my life as of late has been in a holding pattern of blah.  I guess I shouldn’t complain because things could always be worse then again things could…

Brain Nuggets

I swear Tae Kwon Do dojos here are like liquor stores and churches in Detroit.  You can’t go a couple of blocks without running into one.  Shouldn’t be any bullying here as all the kids are 13th degree platinum belt ninjas.   It makes me sad to say that I don’t know shit about local…

These heaux ain’t loyal

You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them, bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness! You were the peanut butter to my jelly.  You were my fucking cinnamon apple!  My cinnamon apple dammit!  That was supposed to mean something to you…to us!  I gave you…

" Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. "Marcus Aurelius

Brain Nuggets

Dr. Oz is a creepy looking bastard to me.  There’s just something untrustworthy about him.  That and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he drives around in a rape van full of roofies and chloroform.   I can’t find blood oranges to save my life.  Where’s one of those roadside Mexicans with the fruit…