I was watching one of my new favorites shows Sunday night. If the Boondocks can manage to keep me laughing like the last episode it’ll surpass South Park as funniest cartoon. Huey and Riley were discussing hoes and dating and I swear Riley was on point! I’ve had the exact same thoughts. Anyway the conversation went something like this.
Riley: Well, I don’t see what the big deal is with hoes anyway.
Huey: Riley, all women are not hoes. We’re talking 20-25% tops.
Riley: Ok, but if they not all hoes then why I got to pay to take them out to eat then. I mean I’m payin’, that’s payment.
Huey: I..I don’t know cause that’s just what you do. You meet a girl you take her out to dinner but you’re not paying the girl, you’re paying the restaurant.
Riley: But I’m PAYIN’ which makes her a HOE. Why don’t I just give her the money I was going to spend on dinner and that hoe can go grocery shopping?
That shit had me rolling. First let me say that unlike young Riley I don’t believe all women are hoes. However, I also don’t believe all women are ladies and merit being treated as such. I don’t necessarily believe in the so-called “traditional gender roles”. When I hear a woman say, “A man is supposed to…” It usually ends up sounding as stupid to me as when we say, “A woman is supposed to…”, does to you. I think the whole dating/courtship thing is flawed. It puts women in a hoeish role and men in a trick role. To quote Willie D, “Your pussy ain’t no more important than my dick.” Of course being the proud owner of a dick, it’s a no brainer. My dick is so much more important to me than anyone’s pussy. However, when you’re dating the antithesis seems the norm.
It seems like all the pressure, financial and otherwise, is on the man. I have to pay. I have to drive. I have to pick the restaurant. I have to buy the drinks. I have to provide the entertainment and be entertaining on top of it! God forbid there’s a moment or two of silence and she actually has to carry the conversation for a little while. Can’t even mention sex because she might feel pressured or uncomfortable. My balls are a pretty shade of cyan at this point and you’re uncomfortable?
Don’t even get me started when a woman pays for a date and acts like she should be revered like Mother Teresa. Did you forget about the six previous dates I paid for? If you really want to impress me don’t do that half-hearted, half-assed reach for the check. Snatch it with authority and say, “Freaky Deaky, I got you! Now let’s go back to your place and have some hot freaky, monkey sex.” In the morning be gone but leave some money on my dresser.
Where’s the equality? Ladies, how many men have you met that were so fascinating and interesting you just wanted to pay to be in their company? I mean pay all the time, every time just to be around them with no expectations of sex, fidelity, or anything else whatsoever? No hugs, no kisses, just an insincere I’ll call you later when the date is over. Never? Exactly my point! No man is that damn interesting! No woman is either! We do it because we want to impress you. We do it because we want you to like us. But the main, honest to God reason we do it is so you’ll fuck us.
Riley: That’s how it starts you know, taking bitches out to eat meals and whatnot. Next thing you know you wake up in a rest haven for hoes, a sanctuary for scandalous skeezers and stunts.
Huey: You’re jumping to conclusions, it’s just a date.
Riley: What if he marries her? What if we end up with a hoe for a grandma?
Huey: Riley shut your dumb ass up.
Riley: What if we have a hoe for a grandma and she comes to school on career day? Ooo, what if they have kids? We’ll have a brother or sister that’s half hoe.
Huey: Riley!
Watch the Boondocks Thursday night on Cartoon Network to see the Guess Hoe’s Coming to Dinner episode. Peace.
You’re absolutely right about that. Women who will pay and not make you feel like shit are few and far between in Detroit.
Dating sucks and it drains my finances. That’s why when I come across a woman who treats I hold onto her with dear life; like she has the cure to Cancer. Shit is that serious. And women in the “D” don’t like to treat.