Midafternoon meme

Aren’t you fortunate? Why you ask? Because you’re getting a second post today. I haven’t done multiple posts since March 31, 2006. I thought it had been longer. Anyway, I stole this meme from Terrance (http://houstonny NULL.blogspot NULL.com/). Check out his blog and say hello sometime. If you search his blog you will find a secret about me I’ve never revealed here. If enough people find it I may even blog about it one day. Without further ado here goes.

The first thing I would do is find a vibrator and try me some battery powered loving. (Side note: they feel good as hell on dick and balls too. Just thought I’d share that with you.) Then I’d find the biggest slut in Detroit and put her on notice, “I’m taking your title.” I’d experiment with damn near everything in a spectacle of hedonistic debauchery.

If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?

I’d say the lack of good parents and role models would top the list. Back in the day neighborhoods were like an extended family. If someone saw you do wrong they would actually stop you. You would get a lecture at least and if they knew your parents well enough a foot to the ass or a good ol’ fashioned whuppin’! Not to mention they’d be waiting in the driveway or on the porch to talk to mom or dad and tell them you were doing wrong. This same neighbor would hold you while the parents commenced to tapping that ass! Nowadays you can live in the same place for years and not even know your neighbor’s name. There really isn’t a sense of community or the it takes a whole village thing. Now it’s every person for themselves.

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?

I don’t know if I want to share that with you.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood who would it be?

Just one? I don’t know if I can name just one. I think it would be between Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington, and Samuel L. Jackson. Take your pick.

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?

Damn, this meme is kind of hard. I guess if I can only pick one it would be being open. I don’t get close to a lot of people and I don’t usually let people get close to me. I don’t make getting close to me very easy. I find myself fighting not to say or do things with people that would open myself up to being hurt. Once people get to know me they almost always say it was worth the effort but I know that I’ve driven away some people with my difficultness.

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?

“You know there are other things you can put in her mouth besides apples? Make her swallow.”

If you were to name the best “I told you so” you ever got to deliver, what was it?

I don’t usually like kicking people when they’re done. I did tell one woman who hurt me once that everytime she did something bad to me something worse would happen to her. It might not happen now. It might not happen tomorrow. It might not happen for years to come but it will happen. I may or may not be the person behind it but I’ll be laughing at you and you deserve all the pain and suffering you’re going to get.

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?

If I were Madonna I’d sponsor Freaky Deaky, pass him around like the ultimate party favor and let him fuck all of my freaky lady friends, and give him whatever his heart desired. Well, that’s what I’d do if I was Madonna.

If you could have a lifetime 50 percent discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?

I’m not really much of a mall shopper. Give me 50% off at Best Buy or Target and I will love you until the day I die.

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?

I’d probably get another pit bull. I’d also consider getting a St. Bernard, bull mastiff, or other large dog. Ruckus or Havoc if it’s boy. Satanicus or Ms. Chief, if it’s a girl.

If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?

You mean besides making me believe in him and have faith in his followers? I guess to let everyone I love and care about have an abundance of peace, love, happiness, and good times for the rest of their lives. That or put people into my life who I can love freely and completely, trust, and won’t abandon me.

If you could spend next New Year’s Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom?

Nothing outrageous or spectacular. I’ve never done anything special or even remotely romantic on New Year’s Eve. Anything to change that would make the day and possibly the night memorable. I’d spend it with someone I loved. I don’t know or really care what we did during the day. I want to bring in the new year with the longest, deepest, most toe curling, passionate kiss I’ve ever had, carry her to bed, and make sweet passionate love to her.

If you were to set your country’s immigration policy, what would it be?

Just enforce the rules we already have. If you want to be a U.S. citizen, apply, denounce all ties to where you’re from. It’s nice to have pride in Mexico, Puerto Rico, Lebanon, or wherever you’re from but once you become an American your first love should be for the country that you asked to adopt you. Enough with waving the flags of countries you don’t live in. Love the U.S. or get the fuck out and stay out! If you’re an illegal you should be deported. If you get caught again you should be threatened with being thrown in prison, beaten, and brutally assraped. If you get caught again that threat should become a reality. Give them no rights to sue for being beaten and raped and when they’re done serving time dumped right back where they came from. That should get the message through.

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?

Who cares if they’re gay? If they want to serve and prevent me from having to then more power to them. If they’re American, can serve, and want to why not let them?

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?

Eboni, hands down, would be at the top of my list. I don’t think about or miss any of my exes like I do her. If during this dinner she even joked about getting married I’d pop the question to her. She’s one of the few people that I truly miss and I’d give just about anything to have her back in my life and another chance with her.

If you could change on thing about your love life, what would it be?

I’d have one for starters.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?

Tell you what, I’ll give you one guess and if you get right I’ll confirm. Only the first five posters are eligible for this game.

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?

I couldn’t even tell you. It’s like comparing oranges to pineapples to grapes (my three favorite fruits if anyone is taking notes). I don’t think it’s fair to put the best rap album up against the best R&B or classical or whatever. I don’t think there is a best music album ever recorded.

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?

A baseball bat? I don’t know. Something big enough to be vauluable and light enough to carry to the person I’ll sell it to.

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?

You’re not unlovable. The love of your life will find you and she will surpass everything you want, need, and desire in a mate. The reality will for once be better than the fantasy in your mind. You will know happiness and live a long and fulfilling life. A lot of people love and care about you. This will all be revealed soon. Or some other crap like that.

Since she asked for it I’m tagging Missy (http://missysmentalmusings NULL.blogspot NULL.com/).

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.