Fuck it Friday! – #5

What’s up Team Freaky members, regulars, new booty, and (sigh) even my lurkers and cyber stalkers? I’m Freaky Deaky and this is my blog. If you’re a new booty then a “Fuck it Friday!” post probably isn’t the best starting point for you to get to know me. Read the disclaimer, hit up some posts in the archives, and come back sometime next week. To everybody else, you know the deal.

Fuck people who are dressed to the nines while their kids are bummy and dusty or looking a hot ass mess!

Fuck women who wear black eyeliner around their lips! Is that supposed to make your lips look bigger or prove that you can color inside of the line?

Fuck women who shave their eyebrows off only to draw on some new ones! Walking around all day looking like you’re fucking confused or have a question to ask. Stop that shit!

Fuck thirsty ass guys that use lines like “Are you happy?”, “How long have you had that problem?”, and other nonsense of that ilk when they hit on women that are in relationships! Get the fuck on with that disrespectful and corny ass bullshit you’re trying to spit you scumbag bastards!

Fuck little boys with cornrows! Fuck toddlers, tweens, teens, and grown ass men walking around with cornrows too! I just don’t think it’s a very masculine look. Dudes walking around looking like little b-i-itches! What’s next beads, bangs, and barrettes? Fuck what you think!

Fuck people who want their partner(s) to swallow and have never tasted themselves! I’m talking men and women, folks!

Fuck people who have unprotected oral sex and then want to wrap it up when you get down to the actual fucking! People are walking around with gonorrhea in their throats and eyes but think they’re okay because “we used a condom during sex”. Too late now dumbass!

Fuck women who take pictures showing off their tongue rings! Fuck them in the ass with explosive Ben Wa balls if they get mad at people for asking them sexual questions about it! Who the fuck gets a tongue ring for anything other than oral sex? If you said me, then motherfuck you too!

Fuck dudes with tongue rings! That’s just creepy on a couple of levels.

Fuck people who play hard to get! If you play hard to get with me then you won’t get got. Yeah, that was grammatically ghetto! Fuck you!

Fuck Farmer Jack’s bottle return machines! How the hell are you going to sell me a case of Berry & Cream Dr. Pepper but not accept them back? Now I have to wait until some dumbass finally programs the code into the computers or take it to another store. Suck my dick Farmer Jack! Nah, fuck that he might enjoy it!

Fuck women who go to gay clubs and claim not to be but suspect and assume a male who goes to one is! If he’s a closet case then your in denial ass is one too. Fuck you in the ass with a strap-on dildo wielded by the biggest, ugliest, smelliest, nastiest, most beastly looking foul man-bitch ever!

Fuck dudes that get insecure because a gay guy talks to them or wants to be their friend! I’ve read some male bloggers talking about they didn’t even want gay dudes commenting because a.) it would attract other gay guys and encourage them to keep visiting and b.) people might think they were gay by association or something.

Fuck buying women in the club drinks! Chances are you probably didn’t have to pay a cover so you’re already coming out ahead of me. Why the fuck should I buy you a drink just because you want one? I want some pussy are you going to give me some just because I want it? Nope, then why should things be any different for you? All jokes aside, I’m not saying you have to fuck me or that I even expect you to fuck me. I’m not even saying I’m going to shadow your ass around the club all night either over a drink. I just don’t sweat people like that no matter how good I think you may look. I am saying that if I do buy you a drink I expect a thank you and maybe the opportunity to have a few minutes of your undivided attention for a brief conversation. After that you can be on your way and do what you do.

Fuck buying all of your friends a drink too if I do buy you one! Get the fuck out of here with that ridiculousness! Give back the drink I just bought you while we’re at too. I’m buying you a drink because you’re the one I want to fuck get to know (wait fuck was right the word) fuck. If I have a better chance with one of your friends or even wanted one of them then you’d still be on the stroll looking for a free drink. Now if your girls are down for a Freaky Deaky gang bang then hell yeah, drinks are on me! Otherwise, get the fuck on!

Fuck everybody who’s saying or thinking right now, either a.) “Why do guys think they’re entitled to rub and grind their dicks against women?” or b.) “Why do guys think they have the right to follow you around all night because they bought you a drink or two?”! I could actually answer both questions but you probably wouldn’t like or accept it. I hate when people counter an argument about women with an argument about men! I can’t really help much with option a other than to suggest you dip your ass in spermicide and put on some latex panties before getting on the dance floor. The easiest way to prevent option b from happening is simply to buy your own damn drinks! I just had another novel thought, don’t accept drinks from guys you don’t know! Sounds too much like the right thing and common sense to ever be taken seriously. There’s a saying, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Well, there’s no such thing as a free drink either. Fuck what you heard!

Fuck the old lurkers! Fuck the new lurkers! Fuck the nosy, scary assed lurkers I know and double fuck the ones I haven’t figured out the identities of yet with a prickly prick! Puki and chingate the lurkers that understand that! If I got it wrong fuck you anyway! Fuck the foreign lurkers and fuck the local lurkers too!

Fuck people who get offended by being called a lurker! Would you prefer to be called a nut gobbler? You probably are but fuck you it’s my blog and I’ll call you whatever the fuck I feel like. It’s not like you’re going to comment and even if you did, the theme for today is “fuck you!” Fuck people who don’t like my anti-lurker disses! Fuck people who love my anti-lurker disses! Fuck people who don’t care one way or the other!

Fuck people who expect you to accept their apologies right then and there! I get mad on my own time and I’ll forgive or not on my own time and on my terms. If you don’t understand that then feel free to sit and rotate on either of my middle fingers!

Fuck women that are quick to shout a man should never lay a hand on them but act like fucking Ike Turner when they get mad! Learn how to keep your own damn hands to yourself before lecturing others.

Fuck a thug! While I’m at it fuck the bitches that love them too! I don’t get any love because I haven’t robbed a liquor store or stabbed a bitch? The day’s still young. One day people will learn that the most dangerous people never look tough. Besides, that thug you love so much was someone’s pillow biting bottom bitch in prison.

Fuck fraternities and sororities! I’ve never seen the point of either and seeing a bunch of 30 somethings acting like they lost the memo that they’re no longer cool or even in college is kind of sad. I don’t give a fuck if you were in one or still consider yourself a member!

Fuck people who don’t like their names but won’t change it! (I told this person she was getting a special fuck you while writing it.)

Fuck Comcast’s sheisty ass for continuing to play musical channels every few weeks!

Fuck another heat wave! Fuck anyone who feels the need to tell me how hot it is or is going to be where they are! I’m not there so I don’t give a fuck! I’m here and it’s too fucking hot as far as I’m concerned! If you think otherwise fuck you with a leaky crusty dick in the orifice of your choice!

Fuck yo couch, nigga! I’ve always wanted to say that, lol. Fuck you if you don’t know about that!

Fuck the workers that have been working on the place next door for the past few days! There’s way too much pounding, thumping, banging, and screwing going on over there not to be talking about fucking.

Fuck women who say “kiss my ass” but when you get back there to do it they look at you all cross eyed and want to call the police! Say what you mean and mean what you say!

Fuck the state of Michigan for keeping Dr. Kevorkian behind bars! I’ve seen child molesters, rapists, and murderers spend less time in prison then him. Suicide, assisted or otherwise is NOT wrong! If you’re not for it then don’t kill yourself dumbass it really isn’t that complicated.

Fuck Baby Got Book (http://www NULL.whiteboydj NULL.com/babygotbook NULL.html) and every other rip off of Baby Got Back! Why is this getting so much publicity? Why the fuck am I publicizing it? Because I can, fuck you!

Fuck anyone who regularly reads “Fuck it Friday!” and was offended by anything I said! Fuck anyone new who stumbled onto my blog today and was shocked or offended by anything I said! Fuck any and everybody reading this or not unless you want to fuck me than fuck me!

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.