Wassuppers, Team Freaky and the other boys and girls reading this? Fuck the lurkers (three of you in particular) in their asses with no Vaseline and a badly splintered plunger! Get your mental eye candy now while you can because I’m so going to block your annoying say nothing asses when I switch over to the new blogger. Anyway, if you’re a regular then you know the deal if you’re new booty, not at least the age of majority, overly sensitive, or offended by profanity then hit that little X on the upper right hand corner of your screen get back at me on the 32nd of never.
Fuck the barbershop I go to charging more on weekends and holidays! If your ass don’t want to work on weekends or holidays then stay your ass at home! Don’t charge me more.
Fuck everybody crying broke when my birthday comes around and then having the nerve to ask me what they’re getting for theirs! You get the new & improved version of the nothing you got me you fucking dumbass!
Fuck people trying to send me viruses and shit through my e-mail like I’m some Internet newbie!
Fuck people who throw parties for felons when they’re released from jail! My cousin, Rape’em All Randy, that molested his girlfriend’s children just got out of prison. Let’s throw him a party and hook him up with some bitches that have kids so he can molest them too. What the fuck is wrong with niggers?! How can anyone see that as being appropriate or even a good idea? Are there innocent people in prison? Sure, but you know most of those motherfuckers are guilty as sin and your relative or friend more than likely falls under the guilty category.
Fuck people who swear up and down that they look like a celebrity you find sexy! Then when you go to meet the person they look don’t even resemble the Bizarro world (a.k.a. Htrae) version of what they claimed to look like.
Fuck females that cackle and don’t realize how ridiculously annoying they sound! When your laugh startles me enough to make me jump or start swinging then you need to dial it down lady.
Fuck people that don’t understand if you share something with everybody I no longer want it because it’s not special anymore! That’s the way I feel about most things you could offer me in general.
Fuck ignorant ass people who honk their horns or rattle your damn windows bumping bass at 2:00 am! Yeah you have a sub woofer and amps, good for you! Now turn that shit down and listen to some better music you inconsiderate dick!
Fuck people not feeling Samuel L. Jackson for doing Snakes on a Plane! Some of you act like every movie he’s ever been in was a five star classic. Even if this movie ends up sucking furry, sweaty, & salty balls, have you forgotten Loaded Weapon 1, Amos & Andrew, SWAT, and the cinematic tour de force known as the Man?
Fuck everybody who plans on going to see that Idlewild bullshit! Fuck you again if you claim to want to see it so badly but your cheap ass makes somebody else pay for you to see it!
Fuck people that don’t have a car but want you to run them all across town, and hand you a couple of bucks when they’re done like we’re even! A couple of bucks doesn’t even buy me a gallon! A couple of bucks won’t pay your cab fare if I pull over and tell you to get your trifling ass out of Pussy! Ass, cash, or gas, nobody rides for free. I’m helping you out! My gas should at the very least be back to where it was before I ran it down helping you and then we can talk about my gratuity.
Fuck people who want you to take them somewhere you’ve never been or aren’t familiar with and give you piss poor directions!
Fuck women that make anti-male statements and want to fly off the handle or try to check people for making what they consider to be chauvinistic statements! It kind of reminds of a t-shirt I love. It says, “I used to be sexist but bitches hate that shit.” I think it’s hilarious. Fuck you if you don’t!
Fuck people who feel the need to lie about how many people they’ve slept with! Are you ashamed or something? I don’t know how it goes for women with men but when a woman tells me she’s afraid I might judge her or something it usually means her pussy is like a rest room door knob. Everybody has had a turn. If the true number of people you’ve slept with is a deal breaker for me then I wasn’t the one for you. Woman up, be honest, and move on. If you have to lie to get me then you’re really not all that anyway.
Fuck potential partners that don’t think or feel the number of people they’ve slept with is any of my business! If you’re planning on or considering adding me to that list then it it is my business. If you honestly feel otherwise then kick rocks and get your lying, nasty, and trifling ass away from me. I’m sure the next dude will like your tainted twat, polluted pussy, and vile vagina just fine.
Fuck going to a store and the salespeople are all over you like maggots on a carcass! Can I breathe? Back the fuck up off of me, unless you’re a chick with a fat ass and very tight pants! Now that I think about it I should go to Best Buy or Target this weekend and take in some eye candy. [Homer Simpson voice.] Mmmmm, ass! [/Homer Simpson voice.]
Fuck going to a store and growing gray hair waiting for a salesperson to attend to you! Yeah, I said fuck both sides of the coin! So what? They’re both annoying. Why the fuck do I have to beg your commission hungry ass to take my money?
Fuck that I can’t find one of those stupid women that lets their men do whoever and whatever the fuck he wants to and pays all of his bills too while remaining faithful to him! I desperately want to find one of these mythical creatures and make her my first baby’s mama. Yeah, I said first damn it! I didn’t stutter.
Fuck metro Detroit for being one of the worst areas in the country for single people trying to date!
Fuck people who go somewhere that isn’t really for them and get mad when people point it out! Why the fuck are you on Yahoo Personals if you’re not looking for someone to date? Why the fuck are you hanging out at a known meat market when you’re married? Do you go to gay clubs and complain about the number of gays there? Do you go to Klan rallies and complain about the lack of diversity? WTF! You don’t belong! Shit, don’t get mad at me for stating the obvious!
Fuck people that won’t or don’t leave well enough alone!
Fuck everyone that ever did me wrong, is doing me wrong, or will do me wrong!
Fuck the hypocrisy of traditional male/female gender roles and everyone who buys into them!
Fuck the little nigglets playing football outside at damn near midnight yesterday night! It’s not like the football had a light or glowed in the dark! I remember when I had to be in the house when the streetlights came on. If I wasn’t my mom would open the door and call for me. If I still didn’t come she’d come looking for me and if she had to come looking for me, well, I’d better be injured or unconscious or I’d be injured and unconscious after she found me.
Fuck the parents of said nigglets for not supervising their kids or apparently even taking an interest in their whereabouts! If you’re not interested in watching the little bastards you plopped out and actually parenting them 24/7, then do us all a favor, put them up for adoption and get your ignorant asses sterilized!
Fuck any woman I’m even remotely interested in ever wearing granny panties unless it’s laundry day or she’s on her period! There are way too many cute panties available for you to wear something so frumpy, bleh, and hideous.
Fuck people who would rather have me sink to their level instead of rising to mine!
Fuck everybody that was waiting for me to post Fuck it Friday!
Fuck people that end conversations with “one” or some variation of it! 300-299 and I’m out! Fuck you!