Greetings and salutations boys and girls! Let’s get all of the house cleaning and moral stuff out of the way. If this is your first time to my blog then you should leave and come back next week sometime. Fuck it Friday! probably shouldn’t be your first exposure me. FiF! is a post for me to single out people, places, and anything else that irks, annoys, pisses me off, or otherwise deserves to be kicked in sensitive parts and flipped off. I use a lot of fucking profanity here. If that offends you or may get you in trouble if the IT guys go over the logs then you shouldn’t be here. Hell, I use profanity in pretty much every post so if it really bothers you then you shouldn’t be here today, tomorrow, or any other time for that matter. These are my rants and my fuck yous. If you are or do one of the many things that gets the middle finger salute from me then fuck you! Seriously, pull down your panties, touch your toes, and take it like a good girl or girly boy! Fuck you if it hurts your feelings! Fuck you if you take anything I say here to heart! If mean spirited comments get under your skin then fuck you and bounce out! If generalizations, blanket statements, or the way I see things bother you then gouge your eyes out with my toe nail clippings and die a slow, painful, and humiliating death. If this disclaimer already doesn’t include a personal fuck you from me to you then I reserve the right to include additional fuck yous with your name on it. Don’t like it? The line to suck my dick, swallow my semen, gargle my piss, and juggle my nuts while tea bagging me starts at the right. Fuck you very much!
Fuck the Detroit Lions for winning the last game of the season and stopping themselves from getting the number one draft pick! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot you dumb bastards! You couldn’t have kept the streak and lost one more game? Fuck the Cowboys for losing that game!
Fuck people who drag their sick germ infested and emitting asses to school or work instead of staying at home! You are inconsiderate assholes and nut gobbling bastards! Seriously. I don’t give a fuck if you used up all your sick days, don’t have sick days, or otherwise can’t afford to miss work or school for whatever reason. Why the fuck do I have to get sick because you’re a selfish dumbass? How the fuck are you going to share germs with me and not your pussy? I truly despise assmunchers like you.
Fuck people who return money they borrowed from you and then ask to borrow again! Fuck them looking all confused or looking at me like I’m lying when I have the money they repaid in my wallet and say that I don’t have any money! It’s too bad your phone is about to get cut off or the rent-to-own place is threatening to repo their furniture but what does that have to do with me? Sure you can suck my dick but you’re still not getting any of that money back.
Fuck how we got to this country!
Fuck all the Black History month public service announcements that only seem to talk about the same 12 – 18 people!
Fuck all of those old school cats that always start talking about how they were on the front lines with Dr. King during the civil rights movement! What you want a fucking cookie or something? Besides, all that we shall overcome shit was before I was born. What have you nostalgic motherfuckers done since, besides fathering bastards, committing adultery, resting on your laurels, and complaining about the current generation? I’m just wondering.
Fuck XM Satellite for not knowing how to bill a motherfucker in a timely manner! Sit on both of my middle fingers when my finger nails are particularly ragged and rotate till it hurt bitches!
Fuck Comcast! Fuck yet another price increase coming in March! For what?! I don’t give a fuck what channel is asking for more money. Tell them to eat a dick and everything that comes out of it and enjoy it or get the fuck on! Man up Comcast! Fuck my picture freezing! Fuck the digitizing and artifacts! Fuck this so called digital connection! It doesn’t look any different or better than analog! Fuck that red light violently in the ass! Yeah, I know I’ve mentioned the light before fuck you for remembering! I don’t give a fuck about whatever local high school game is showing if it doesn’t involve chicks in spandex, half naked chicks, oiled up chicks, or butt ass naked chicks telling me to come get my pussy now then save that shit and keep the fucking light off! Fuck them playing musical chairs with channels every month!
Fuck WOW for getting my hopes up that I could finally tell Comcast to violently suck shit from my ass only to find out that they’re still not available in my area!
Fuck rain! I’m tired of it. I was tired of that shit in December and I was ill about it in January. I don’t want to see anymore rain until May at the earliest.
Fuck all those people who were happy about the lack of snow! I’m glad you got ice, freezing rain, snow, or whatever weather you’re not used to or don’t like. Actually, I hope you get a lot more of it. [Does a combination happy and snow dance.]
Fuck stupid, greedy, conniving ass people that waste their money on shit like rapid refunds and it’s not an absolute emergency! You haven’t had that refund check all this time, your ass can wait a couple of weeks!
Fuck people that are happy because they get huge refunds! Earth calling dumbass! Assuming the refund isn’t largely the result of credits you’re basically letting the government sit on your money and earn interest! That’s money you could’ve invested, earned interest on, or otherwise used throughout the year when the ramen noodles and PB&J sandwiches were running low. You actually want to have a zero balance, not owe money or get a large refund. Let me add that Paypal donation button so you can give me some money since you’re pretty much wasting it anyway.
Fuck all the people I’m going to ban in advance!
Fuck that it’s taken me this fucking long to bring back Fuck it Friday! Fuck everybody who’s been asking when it was coming back! Fuck everybody who didn’t ask but was still wondering! Fuck everybody who are just now being introduced to Fuck it Friday!
Fuck people who change their blogger name/user name as often as tissue and panties! That shit is so not cute! Pick a name, any name and keep it you fucking schizophrenic dumbass!
Fuck any and all women that talk about going Dutch before any of the first few dates! As soon as I hear that phrase coming out of your mouth, you’ve told me that you’re a cheap bitch who’s only out for herself and unless my dick ends up in you by the end of the night then I’ve lost any and all respect for you. Snarky aside: Okay, I probably didn’t have much respect for you in the first place but you definitely won’t get it after that. If you don’t like cheap men then will you please answer me this? Why the fuck do you think we like cheap bitches?! If you were offended or are otherwise indignant about the whole fucking if I spend money on you then I have another question. Why the fuck do you think we like cheap bitches that are stingy with the pussy?!
Fuck anyone who really is offended or gets indignant about the above blurb! Furthermore, fuck anyone up the ass with a jagged broomstick that tries to rationalize or defend cheap ass women not coming out of pocket and/or cheap ass women not not coming out of pocket and panties!
Fuck Tyra Banks! How the fuck are you going to preach like you’re representing the thick, big boned, plush, and full-figured set basically saying there’s nothing wrong with it and then come out in the infamous swimsuit to “prove” that you’re not getting chunky? Hypocritical bitch sit on my dick and shut the fuck up with that bullshit you’re spewing! While we’re at fuck all of her heterosexual female fans in various orifices with MY dick! The line starts to the left! No exceptions unless looking at or smelling you causes me to lose my erection.
Fuck the road salt residue that has my sweet, pretty Pussy looking all dusty and grimy! Double fuck that it’s going to be too cold to wash her without risking the locks freezing.
Fuck any and everybody who’s been online for more than a minute in this day and age and don’t have any pictures or recent pictures of themselves somewhere on their computers or online! You can get a webcam for under $20, your pictures scanned at Kinko’s, a CD of your pictures when you take a disposable camera in to get developed, and so many other ways to get a picture online. I don’t have (insert whatever device) isn’t reasonable or even believable nowadays so save your breath! In fact I don’t have pictures is pretty much synonymous with saying I’m ugly as fuck and I know it.
Fuck you very much for reading! As always if nothing applies to you then this is your own personal fuck you!