Chillin’ with Val – pt. 4


The end of the road

After I got up from nap, we ate and I finally got to watch the news. Call me weird but I like watching different newscasts from outside of my local area. It was funny because I could definitely tell who did the weather, who was the sports guy, and the anchors just by looking at them. Once I actually heard them speak it only confirmed their roles. The sports and weather guy looked and acted kind of cheesy. I wish I could’ve gotten a tour of their studio though. Val pointed out the studio to me and it looked kind of cool from what I saw. It actually looked a little out of place to me for some reason. It just didn’t seem like it fit in with the scenery of Parts Unknown.

Val changed clothes and was looking nice. She mentioned how much she loved the bra she had on so of course I had to play with it and her chest. I didn’t want to but they made me do it. Seriously, it was against my will. I’m thinking about pressing charges. Maybe. I exercised great restraint in not taking it off and twirling it like a helicopter above my head while running around screaming, “Woohoo!!!” Oh like none of you have ever had that happen before. Whatever. Of course we got to making out again and almost ended up missing yet another engagement. I don’t know what the deal was with that. Although I now have an almost foolproof way to make out with her. All I have to do is make plans to go somewhere.

We did the going out thing and picked up some Mickey D’s on the way home. Afterwards we both took showers and got into something a bit more comfortable. After I was done getting pretty smelling and stuff I was greeted with…well a lot. The lights were out and candles were lit. She had some incense burning and a pallet was made out for us on the living room floor. Ruh-roh! The only thing missing was some Esham or Ice Cube thumping in the background. Yeah, that would’ve been hot and a 40 oz in a brown paper bag. Oh, damn! I’m getting a chubby just thinking about it. Don’t judge me! She had a nice little selection of stuff to play with including feathers and chocolate whipped cream amongst them. [cough] Freak! [/cough] Seriously though I wasn’t expecting it so I thought it was nice. Val and I were about to play some grown folks games. Yippee skippy!!!

One of the things I got Val for Valentine’s day were some novelty adult dice. She pulled out the dice and if I didn’t know better I’d say she had it planned out. Oh fuck it she did have it planned from the beginning! I should’ve bought my adult novelty dice. They’re better and they glow in the dark. I think next time we’ll have to substitute a few of the instructions on the dice. I kept rolling lame shit to the point Val gave me a choice to roll the dice over or to violate me in ways that would forever tarnish my sweetness and innocence. I cried and then rolled again. Once we had our fill of games and after talking we decided to call it a night. One of the last things she said that night was that she was going to miss me.

I woke up Sunday morning and Val was looking at me. Please, please, please don’t let me be drooling, blowing snot bubbles from my nose, or anything else embarrassing. I guess today was my lucky day because none of that was the case. I was a bit off because of the early time change. Let me go on record and say whoever thought that changing the whole daylight savings time thing was a good idea is a fucking idiot and will get all of my size 13 shoe rammed up his/her ass if I ever see them. I just looked at Val for a little while, held her, and molested her. My stay was coming to an end. I’d be leaving Parts Unknown and heading back home soon. I was actually kind of sad. I wish I had more time, hours, days, whatever, it didn’t really matter.

I guess we were both thinking it but Val was the first to say it. This is actually it. We got up out of bed, freshened up, and had breakfast. Val showed me some video she had of her in high school and pulled out her photo album. Alas it was during her high school years so I didn’t see her as a toddler let alone any naked baby pictures. Those are always fun. I can’t believe people actually keep those things. For the record, if there are any naked baby pictures of me out there no one has been dumb enough to tell me about them. We watched a little TV and got to making out again. You know what that means, right? It was about time for us to go.

Val gets dressed, I take care of some last minute stuff, and then we’re out the door. I imagined the trip to the airport would be longer but it wasn’t. I’m there at Parts Unknown Airport in no time. We pull up to the airport and I say our goodbyes. No hugs, no kisses, no handshakes, no dap, not even a brotha nod. Val’s comments were kind of short to the point it seemed like she just wanted to be rid of me or something. I asked her if I did anything wrong or if she was mad at me. She said no, so I got out, grabbed my bags, and bounced. Anticlimactic, I know but it is what it is. Whatever. I go inside the airport, find a kiosk, and print out my boarding pass. Originally, both flights I was on were booked so that I’d have aisle seats. On Friday morning, I decided to check the seating plan for my flight back. The row my E-ticket confirmed me having no longer existed. It also showed the flight as being full. I didn’t really worry about it much at the time. I knew something would just be substituted, either the seat or possibly the flight. However, when I printed out the ticket the seat obviously changed. I was now sitting in the center. Lovely!

Dealing with TSA wasn’t any problem this time. I remembered to take off my belt (which tripped me up last time) and didn’t have any problems. The guard looked a little disappointed he wouldn’t get to snap his latex gloves and listen to Dueling Banjos while violating me. Oh well, life is disappointment and disappointment is synonymous with life. I decide to get a souvenir of some kind during my wait. It was between a Parts Unknown t-shirt and a Parts Unknown shot glass. I went with the shot glass. I wanted to get some post cards but I got cheap. I wasn’t sure how much the sales tax would be and if it was more than the change I had on me I didn’t really want to break a twenty for it so I passed. Val called while I was in the gift shop. She claimed she wasn’t mad or anything and that she just doesn’t do the goodbye thing or something. Yeah, sure, okay.

I looked at my watch and suddenly realized I had less time than I thought. I was mistaken of course. My watch is supposed to automatically update it’s time based on the national clock somewhere in Colorado. However, the whole three week early daylight savings time thing has fucked that up. Anyway, the terminal is crowded. You’d think that Parts Unknown could spring for some more seating. I guess not. I go to the desk or whatever and ask if it’s possible to exchange my seat for an aisle seat. The plane wasn’t full like the seating chart said and I got a new pass. Cool! I didn’t even have to be bored for too long before the plane loaded. I was now closer to the front of the plane, well away from the engines. Matter of fact if I had managed to get the row in front of me then I would’ve had a lot more leg room. Ironically, I was supposed to be sitting in that row but in the center seat. I’m not complaining though. There weren’t really any problems on this flight. Well the dumbass in front of me kind of annoyed me. About halfway through the flight he reclined his seat. Great. What annoyed me is that he spent most of the flight leaned forward even though the seat was reclined. You don’t know how badly I wanted to paintbrush the back of his dandruff riddled furry head.

We arrived at Metro a little earlier than scheduled. I can’t see that as ever being a bad thing in my book. As soon as I landed I called my ride. I grabbed my shit and got off the plane as soon as I possibly could. Now finding my way out of the airport was a bit difficult. I was familiar with the area where people are dropped off so my plan was to find that. No go. I looked at the map and where I was compared to where I needed to be wasn’t going to be easy and thus wasn’t going to happen. I was buy the pick up area but I’ll be damned if I recognized anything. I called my ride and told her where I was she was stuck in traffic so I was going to have a little wait. I didn’t mention that I left my jacket in Parts Unknown did I? Well, I was running around trying to make sure I didn’t leave anything and sure enough I did. I didn’t even realize I left my jacket until a few minutes after we took off. Well, at least I didn’t leave my digital camera or my mp3 player. That would have pissed me off to no end. I’m glad it wasn’t snowing that day although it wasn’t nearly as warm as Parts Unknown was it wasn’t cold enough to bother me not having a jacket.

My mom finally came through to scoop me up. I guess I saw her before she saw me and scared the hell out of her when I reached for the door handle. Poor mommy. The day I returned was also her birthday. It was a little after 2:30 pm and I found out my sister was doing the barbecue thing for my mom’s birthday. She asked me if I wanted to go home to get a jacket and I said it didn’t make sense to waste the gas. I wasn’t going to be outside in the elements for all that long anyway so I’d be straight. Besides if I went home and even looked at my bed it was going to be a wrap. She wasn’t sure if my sister cooked anything I liked so we stopped and got me something to eat and then it was off to my sister’s. The usual suspects were there including Lil’ Miss Short Shorts. She’s one of the few reasons I’m even moderately looking forward to warmer weather. She can wear the hell out some itty bitty shorts, damn!

I played with my puppy girl and smuggled some food to her. We did the off-key singing of Happy Birthday to my mother and watched one of her candles melt waiting for my sister to fumble around with her camera. Eventually we ended up using my mom’s camera phone to take the picture. It was a pineapple cake. I love pineapples, it’s one of my favorite fruits next to a big juicy orange but I absolutely hate pineapples as a topping or an ingredient in other food. It’s just not right. I was so exhausted I didn’t even flirt with Lil’ Miss Short Shorts. We finally left and I still didn’t go to sleep when I got home. Well, that was how I spent the second weekend of March.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.