1st day of spring random thoughts

Q: What do you call a woman with two black eyes?
A: Hard of hearing.

I love that little joke.

Didn’t Angelina Jolie used to cut herself, drink Billy Bob’s blood, and had that creepy relationship with her weird ass brother? So why the fuck are people letting her adopt children?!

I need to find some new bloggers to read.

I’m number one on two blog rolls. Don’t even ask me why that makes me smirk but it does.

The weather is really annoying me. Last month was the 3rd coldest winter February on record in the U.S. however overall it’s been the warmest winter worldwide. Winter is pretty much over and done with and now Old Man Winter decides to grace us with snow yesterday. Thanks for nothing, you sorry ass motherfucker!

Who would’ve thought that K-Fed, Kevin Federline would be the one walking away from his marriage to Britney Spears looking like the sane, rational, reasonable, and responsible one?

Crazy or not I’d still fuck Britney’s multiple rehab dropout ass 12 ways to heaven and six ways to hell raw!

I got into a discussion with Val about the Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump hair vs. hair match at Wrestlemania. She thinks that the Donald is rocking a toupee. I cry shenanigans! I refuse to believe that a billionaire would wear a toupee that looked like a bad comb over.

R.I.P. “the Big Cat” Ernie Ladd (http://en NULL.wikipedia NULL.org/wiki/Ernie_Ladd) and “the Golden Boy” Arnold Skaaland (http://en NULL.wikipedia NULL.org/wiki/Arnold_Skaaland).

So Strom Thurmond’s family used to own Al Sharpton’s. Doesn’t surprise me one bit. I wonder who is more embarrassed the late senator (chillaxing in hell) or the reverend?

Is Akon supposed to be the new Nate Dogg or something? Either way I’m not feeling him and never have.

Kids stop being cute to me after they start talking and are able to say my name.

I wish I could find a clip of SNL’s parody of Oprah discussing the Secret. It was funny as hell and kind of sums up how I feel about all of the hype surrounding it.

I remember when I discovered that Santa Clause didn’t exist how disappointed I was in my mom for lying to me. I wonder what else she lied to me about.

I keep missing one of the chicks on my IM. She has a picture of her in a bikini but it only shows the top half. I really, really want to see the bottom half. Hope she has a picture of it.

I think people who think all pit bulls are crazed killing machines are fucking idiots! Some of the sweetest dogs I’ve known are/were pit bulls. Poodles are a lot meaner.

I want to build another computer for myself but I want a laptop more.

I don’t know how some women expect to keep a man if they don’t suck dick. Hell, I don’t even want to be friends with a chick that doesn’t love having dick in her mouth on a regular basis.

I like having my dick sucked like one of those triple thick milkshakes from McDonald’s. Not only do I want her cheeks to suck into her mouth while milking me I want her fucking forehead to concave too! Now that’s some good dick sucking, damn it!

I want to be so rich that I have my own personal food court in my basement amongst other things.

I wouldn’t let them serve anyone but me though.

How come 9 times out of 10 some old and decrepit, one step away from being an actual zombie geezer or someone who is already well off wins the lottery?

I think if you have a net value of six figures or more then you shouldn’t be allowed to play the lottery. Can you imagine the outrage if Oprah or Bill Gates won the lotto?  

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.