I can’t stand those Kirstie Alley Jenny Craig commercials. Maybe it’s me (or maybe it’s the shapeless gowns she always wears in the commercials) but I’m not really seeing the 60 or 70 lbs. she claims to have lost. Hell she doesn’t even seem likable in the commercial so if she actually did lose the weight I know I’m not the only one that secretly (well not so secretly anymore) hopes she gains it back plus another 40 or 50 lbs. for good measure. I’m sure I’m not the only person who wouldn’t be surprised to see her dead on a toilet with a half eaten sub in her hands and a box of twinkies on her lap.
Why oh why won’t all of this Anna Nicole Smith coverage die once and for all? Why the fuck does the DNA expert need to fly out there to say who the father of her kid is? Pick up the motherfuckin’ phone and call! Is it wrong to wish that all of her family dropped dead and burn in hell so I don’t have to keep hearing about them anymore? Oh by the way, anyone who thinks the name Dannielynn is anything but a white trash name is either named Dannielynn themselves or a fucking retard!
How come no one ever seems to mention the elephant in the room that is Forest Whitaker’s wonky eye? Don’t get me wrong the man can act. I hope you didn’t miss is arc on ER as a distraught former patient seeking revenge on Dr. Kovac. Does his co-stars ever wave at him during a scene like, “Hey Forest, over here. Oh you are looking at me?! My bad.” I wonder if it distracted my BBM while she was watching Last King of Scotland?
What’s up with those anthropomorphic cows in the Silk soymilk commercials? Would it be considering bestiality if I hit one of those heifers from the back, while grabbing some teats and growling, “Moo for me you fucking cow!”? Yeah, whatever. Watch I get some hits on bestiality from some wack job pervert using Ask.com.
I wonder how many people knew what anthropomorphic means without having to look it up?
Speaking of wack job perverts using Ask.com, what’s the deal with all of the lurkers hitting up my blog from Virginia? While I’m at it, how come so many of them use Ask.com? They say Virginia is for lovers but according to my stats Virginia is for some hard up, hardcore perverts. The latest search strings leading perverts from Virginia to my blog were: I got a boner from my sister and she let me fuck her – (What more can I say than you sick fucking inbred bastard?) and Pornos to watch without downloading it – (Thirsty bastard no one uses ask.com to find good pornos.)
Looks like I need to update my robots.txt file and block the bots from ask.com from indexing my blog.
I’ve only blocked eight IP addresses from viewing my site and most of them were from my Blogger blog. I did it before I even opened Freakytopia to the public. I thought I’d be well into double digits by now. I wonder what that number will be by the time summer rolls along.
I finally saw the first commercial for the Transformers movie. Some of the designs look so foreign to me I’m not sure what I think about them. It’s hard to believe that some of the car companies refuse to let their vehicles be used in the movies. It’s free publicity you dumbasses! Just off the top of my head Volkswagon could’ve done some kind of tie-in marketing using Bumblebee to sell some of their VW Beetles. Hell, they could’ve done a limited edition Transformers edition VW Beetle. But no, they didn’t give the movie clearance to use their vehicle. Numbnuts!
I’ve already heard that there’s a live action G.I. Joe movie in the works. If they did it right it would be a big budget R-rated summer blockbuster. Watch it be some watered down PG-13 bullshit marketed to get teenagers to see it instead of the Gen X-ers (damn I haven’t heard that term in a minute) who grew up on it. Fuck teenagers! What the fuck do they know about anything except being annoying and having a bunch of opinions and no real life experience to based any of them on.
I’m going to see Grindhouse tomrorrow. Althought out of the two movies that are Grindhouse I’m looking more forward to Robert Rodriguez’s Planet Terror than Quentin Tarrantino’s serial killer/car crash movie Death Proof. It’s the zombie movie.
Someone once asked me if I missed her. I thought about it. Should I tell the truth or tell her what I thought she wanted to hear? I told her the truth. No. The reason being that she never gave me a chance to miss her. We spoke everyday, multiple times a day. I actually have to have some time apart from you to miss you and appreciate the time we do have together. Sometimes, I might actually want the chance to speak to people besides you. She got mad at me.
Contrary to popular belief even I go to bed early every once in awhile.
It snowed Wednesday and it’s been cold as hell since. Nothing really accumulated but I’m not sure how I feel about it. The snowfall has been mucho sucko in southeast Michigan for awhile now so I don’t really see the point of Mother Nature even attempting to give us snow now. If I didn’t flip her off enough during the winter her ears are really going to start burning this spring. On the other hand I’m sooooo done with rain. I’m pretty much down for any kind of precipitation as long as it isn’t rain.
I finally found some interesting memes. Yippee skippy! I’ve even finally decided to quit being lazy and write my own meme. I just haven’t decided how many questions to include and if it’s good enough for me to claim ownership of.
If croûtons are just basically stale bread why do they come in airtight packages?
There’s a cute chick on my Trillian friends list. She smiles a lot. She doesn’t have an upper lip. Well technically she has one but it’s kind of thin like those of the Caucasian persuasion. She has some tig ol bitties that I wouldn’t mind giving a pearl necklace to.
Why the fuck do people see you’re trying to make a turn and slow down to look at you? Do you really want to see me flip you off that bad and mouth the words “Hurry your slow ass on you fucking felcher!”
I’m down to my last book of checks. I really ought to order some more.
It would be really nice to see a federally mandated holiday for a religion other than Christianity.
I wonder which is more true, absence makes the heart grow fonder or out of sight out of mind?