Fuck it Friday! – XXIV – The 2nd Fucking Year!

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Well just because you’ve been waiting for it I almost decided not to do it. Why? Because I can be an asshole like that sometimes. Anyway, it’s Friday so welcome to the first edition of Fuck it Friday after my one year anniversary. If you’re new to Freakytopia and Fuck it Friday then maybe you should come back sometime next week. Peruse the archives, check out some recent posts or come back when I’m feeling kinder and gentler. Seriously, this isn’t the day or post to read if you’re visiting for the first time and trying to get to know what kind of person I am. Then again maybe it is. Who knows? If you’re still here then do us both a favor and check out the disclaimer & rules and the comment policy sections for Freakytopia. They’re located in the sidebar. While you’re at it maybe take a few minutes to read the about me section too.

Fuck it Friday isn’t a warm and fuzzy post full of puppy hugging, hand holding, and nice, uplifting spiritualness. I don’t piss rainbows and shit sunshine here Sugar Britches. There are way too many bloggers like that and if that’s what floats your boat then you’re free to check them out. I didn’t ask you to come here any fucking way. Fuck it Friday is a special rant fest to put on blast the people, places, and things that irk, annoy, and/or otherwise piss me the fuck off. If you are offended by profanity, sarcasm, blasphemy, misogyny, mean spirited comments, or the general tone of Fuck it Friday then click on the red box with the X in the upper right hand corner of your browser, go fuck yourself, and then commit suicide! With that said let’s get on with the post.

Fuck the lawn care crew here! The bushes are dying and the grass is dying (yet still managing to look like the hair of a bitch playing basketball at Rutgers.) Turn on the fucking sprinklers already!

Fuck that new over the counter weight loss drug Alli! What dumbass is stupid and desperate enough to take a drug that warns you to wear dark clothing? What the fuck?! Talk about a dilemma. Be fat or shit yourself uncontrollably. Be fat or have greasy, anal leakage oozing from your ass. Be fat or wear a diaper. Fuck that I’d rather be fat!

Fuck all the news sources trying to say anabolic steroids and more specifically “roid rage” is the reason Chris Benoit killed himself and his family! Roid rage doesn’t last an entire fucking weekend.

Fuck gas prices going up yet again and the excuses given for it! Gas is going up now because it’s hot! Ain’t that some shit?! Gas prices went up in the winter time because it was cold. I suppose gas prices will go up in the fall because the fucking leaves are changing colors and dying and prices will go up in the spring because it’s raining! ! Get the fuck out of here talking that stupid shit!

Fuck motherfuckers sending me bills when I don’t currently owe shit! Why the fuck do I have to prove I don’t owe you? Prove I do you fucking nut juggling bastards!

Fuck people that try to tell me what I like when I clearly know that I don’t! If I say something is nasty don’t try to force me to eat it unless you’re into Roman showers or just want to test your carpet cleaner.

Fuck damn near everybody I haven’t heard from in a minute wanting to call me when Val was here! I still haven’t felt like calling any of them back yet.

Fuck the non driving bastards that “forgot” how to use their turn signals when I was coming home from the airport! Am I supposed to fucking guess which lane you want to be in and were you’re going? I suppose you’ve also “forgotten” about safe driving distances too, huh? I always wish oblivious asses like you blow up in a fiery wreck, after I’ve safely passed you, of course.

Fuck women who think just because they’re curious about carpet munching that they’re somehow more honest and real than guys who claim they don’t want to snuggle up on some dick and balls!

Fuck the Weather Channel! They kept hyping up this storm yesterday like it was really going to do something, even suggesting we take cover and seek shelter. All that ended up happening here was the wind picked up a little, the sky was gray for about five minutes max, and it rained. Mind you my window never got wet and I never actually saw or heard any rain, I just saw that the street is wet.

Fuck “Scooter” Libby being able to write a check for $200,400 to pay off his fines!

Fuck a grown ass man having a nickname like “Scooter”. If your boy W. didn’t commute your sentence I’m sure your new nickname would’ve been “Cumchuggling Bitch”.

Fuck 1-800-833-7817 calling my cell phone, even though I’m on the Do Not Call List, trying to get me to take a vacation to Florida! Get a straw and suck bloody shit from my ass! I fucking hate wrong numbers, I despise telemarketing/sales calls, and I pray for a slow, violent death to the children and loved ones of these assholes who call on my cell phone!

Fuck companies that give you sales spiel before you can actually tell them why the fuck you’re calling! Why are you wasting my time reading from a script when I told you no thank you before you even finished the first sentence of it? I don’t like having to repeat myself. Didn’t someone ever tell you that no means no motherfucker? Don’t keep continuing. I’m just going to keep saying no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Give it a rest, I’m not interested! Damn.

Fuck everybody and their daddies taking their blogs private when they don’t even remotely discuss anything that could, should, or otherwise warrant privacy! Scary, pussy asses!

Fuck these same private bloggers that want to comment and especially talk shit on everybody else’s blogs!

Fuck all the good fireworks being illegal in Michigan! It hasn’t stopped anyone from getting them. Who the fuck wants to play with sparklers and snakes?! Ooh, sparklers. Snakes?! Snakes are fireworks for fucking retards! If you’re not retarded and you like them then someone should stomp the dogshit out of you until you are a card carrying, helmet wearing, drooling member of Team Retard. You fucktard bastards!

Fuck these dumb motherfuckers who keep drowning because they went boating, couldn’t swim, were drinking like fish, and didn’t have on a life vest! I know you’re not really thinking but damn! What the fuck is it you expect to happen other than one of you dumbasses drowning?

Fuck illegal immigrants and motherfuckers who’ve been living here for decades, don’t speak a lick of English and complain about feeling or being treated like a second or third class citizen! Newsflash: You’re NOT a fucking citizen so quit your bitchin’ and be glad we treat you as well as we do! Now go along and sell some oranges, be a day laborer, or whatever it is you illegal immigrant peons do.

Fuck Britney Spears claiming she attacked a photographer’s car with an umbrella because she was auditioning for a film role! Huh? Get the fuck out of here! That sounds slightly less believable than, “No your honor, there’s been a misunderstanding. I wasn’t fucking that prostitute. I was method acting for an audition.” Get off of that shit you’re on!

Fuck the whole required classroom participation thing! I do not currently nor have I ever given a fuck to what my alleged “peers” think about anything. Some optimistic dumbass and many teachers have said that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I have no respect for anyone who utters such tripe and quite frankly have some questions about their intelligence. As a matter of fact, fuck you in the ass with a monkey herpes covered dick! There most certainly are stupid questions and most of the time they’re asked by children and stupid people!

That’s a wrap folks! Fuck you, fuck your couch, and fuck your weekend!

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.