Well, I got this from Ladynay (http://ladynaynay NULL.blogspot NULL.com/) who got it from whoever wherever. I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything, and I don’t know anything. Nobody is really blogging, reading, or commenting so there’s no better time than now for another meme madness week.
1. In three words, explain what ended your last relationship?
Her disappearing acts.
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
I think I tried it once when I was a kid. Ouch! Don’t ask me why. Those cheap disposable razors will slice you up quicker than a 70’s perm wearing pimp named Pinky when he honks his horn and you’re short on his money!
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Sleep. (I’ve been sitting on this meme for a couple of months and finished it yesterday.)
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Listening to music on my computer.
5. Are you any good at math?
I taught my sister algebra when we were younger. I’m okay at it. Although I suck at geometry and will bust your head open to the white meat if you ever ask me do to statistics.
6. Last night?
[Cue some chill R&B music and sings] Last night I made love to my hand, chances are, I’ll do it again. [/cue] What? Don’t judge me! I need to start writing some songs so I can save R&B. No fuck that put me in a studio and hook me up with some digital sweetening and buy my damn CD!
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Until my mom admits that she slept with Bill Gates or Carlos Slimm and that one of them is really my daddy then I’m not aware of having any famous ancestors.
8. Have you ever burped in front of the opposite sex?
What’s so special about the opposite sex? Like Shrek says, better out than in (unless we’re talking about my dick then it should be in and out and in and out and…). I don’t think I’ve ever tried to recite the alphabet to a chick while belching but I’m sure somewhere there is a woman or two that can say I burped in her presence. Whatever.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace page?
Well, as a matter of fact I do. It’s one of my favorite songs too. Rapping along to it is a great stress reliever.
10. Last thing you received in the mail?
Something from Social Security and yet another Comcast Triple Play offer for loyal customers.
11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
As I’ve writing this so far I’ve only had some pineapple-orange juice. I’ll probably drink some water and maybe get into some grape juice. I ♥ grape juice.
12. What’s one thing you wish to change about yourself?
Gee where do I start? Well since the question only asked for one thing I wish I was about three inches taller.
13. What do you wish for?
A life of luxury, the ability to fuck any chick I wanted to whenever I wanted to, children, seclusion, internal peace & happiness, to not be forced to suffer fools, and a quick and painless death.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I haven’t done that since I was a kid. I’d rather make sandcastles or bury someone in sand personally. Besides, I prefer drawing my name in the snow, without using my hands. Feel me?
15. What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had?
I have sensitive teeth and gums so even getting them cleaned is a bit unpleasant.
16. What is outside of your back door?
Why the fuck do you want to know? Matter of fact why the fuck is this even a question? Seriously? Steps, a walkway, an embankment, and the back of some carports.
17. Any plans for Friday night?
I’ll probably be watching a new episode of Dr. Who on the Sci-Fi channel and Tivoing Man vs. Wild.
18. Do you like the ocean?
Sure minus the seagulls, sharks, jelly fish, hurricanes, and angry souls of dead pirates why wouldn’t I?
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different POPCORN?
Yes, I have. I’m not really fond of them either because I don’t generally like cold popcorn. The caramel corn in those things are good and one of the few types of popcorn I like cold. Barbecue popcorn being another.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
I’ve been to a planetarium before as part of an astronomy class I took in college. It was cool. I wouldn’t mind going back.
21. Natural childbirth or epidural
Well, since it ain’t coming out of me it doesn’t really matter one way or the other. As long as she and my baby are safe it’s up to her. If men ever could give birth then I would choose neither. I would refrain from getting pregnant until transporters are invented and Scotty or Chief O’Brien can beam that little fucker out of me .
22. Something you are excited about.
I’m not currently excited about anything. Why do I have to be excited? Yet another conceit of meme writers.
23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Sparkling mandarin orange is probably my favorite but I haven’t seen it in on the shelves in a minute. I also love peach, orange, pineapple, and strawberry Jell-O too.
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Nope, I believe they’re all deceased. They’d be ancient, decrepit, and older than Methuselah so it’s probably a good thing that they ceased being maggot food a long time ago.
25. Describe your key chain:
Well it’s a detachable key chain. The main unit is blue and circular. It has a hook that I can attach to my belt loop and it has five rings. It has five detachable rings so I only have to carry what I need. On one ring is the key to Pussy and the automatic lock fob, on another ring are my house keys, the key to my mailbox, a mini flashlight, and my former key chain which is basically the first initial of my name, on the third ring are my store cards (CVS, DSW, Kroger, Farmer Jack, and Petco), the other two rings are empty.
26. Do you like anyone on your blog roll?
What the fuck?! They’re alright I guess or I wouldn’t have added them. Not the answer you were looking for? Then ask better questions next time. Speaking of my blog roll it’s time to start updating and purging.
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
Probably during my last speech class. I don’t do large groups.
28. What is your winter coat like?
All of my winter coats are black and leather. I have a leather trench coat that I rarely wear, a zip up leather jacket, and a button up leather jacket.
29. How often do you lay with your significant other and just cuddle, no sex?
Well considering that I don’t officially have a significant other I’d have to say I’ll take never for $200 Alex. Cuddling leads to sex, well, at least the way I do it. Considering how sexual I am and how I tend to attract or bring the freak out of people then I’d say cuddling with no sex doesn’t happen very often. Unless we’re talking after the point.
30. Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?
Do African children in those relief commercials have flies on their eyes? Come on! Are you serious? I don’t think I’d be worthy of the Freaky Deaky name if I couldn’t do something as simple as that.
i’m sorry, i couldn’t help myself. something about you saying you did that as a kid set me off. can you ever forgive me?
I don’t know. That hurt my soul. I don’t know if I can walk that one off. :(( You do me sooooo wrong.
i was terrible at geometry. Lord knows how i passed it. now, stats were my thing! i loved it b/c it’s a diff. type of math.
i can’t tie do the cherry stem thing. maybe you can teach me how to do it. 😉
disposable razors have come a long way since the 1950s. =))
i wish my great grandparents were still alive.
Statistics is not for me.
I don’t know I might have to dust off my tongue. That happens to old people you know? >:p
Ouch! 🙁 That was mean. Why must you wound me with old jokes? :(( Let me go find a blog mistress who will build me up instead of laugh as she tears me down. [walks off into the sunset with tears streaming down my cheeks.]
If my great grandparents were still alive I’d just have more relatives that abandoned me. Fuck’em, I’m glad they’re dead.
!. Alkie abusive dick ( the dick part was great.)
2. getting ready to go to doctor.
3.I was planning my post.
4.I should. I’m an architect.
5. Last night? I blogged, I think.
7&8.My mother’s family is very important, the Oiticica family.
Burping is a sign of appreciaton for the food. Nothing wrong. In time you’ll be ripping some farts, too.
And I will continue tomorrow for I have to post.
=))
I wanted to be architect at one time. Sadly I can’t draw a straight even with a ruler and I absolutely suck at geometry. So my dreams were soon crushed.
I’ve never been that comfortable around a chick to do that…on purpose.
Looking forward to reading it.
Lying, cheating, alcoholic is what ended my last relationship.
OMG, I love grape juice too :d
I wish for more money.
Only time I law with my significant other and cuddle with no sex, is when its that time of the month, and sometimes not even then, lol.
Oh so you can tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue…WOW… me want to see.
Oh byt he way, I have no problem with my phone service with Comcast.
I’ve dated an alcoholic (in denial) before. Never again.
Grape juice is one of my comfort items. 🙂
Don’t we all.
I’m not really trying to cuddle up in the summer time. Once fall and winter hit then I’m sure I’ll be popular with all of the cuddle monkeys again. 🙁
I haven’t tied one with my tongue for a minute but I’m sure I still can. I wonder if I still have any cherries. 😕
Cool, that’s great to hear. I guess I’ll find out for myself tomorrow. I definitely need to e-mail people my new number later.
I did this? Really? LOL Don’t remember it! BBQ popcorn sounds good.
Don’t be trying to make my fiance your daddy! HAHAHAHA
I’m not sure if you ever did it or not but you e-mailed that one and one or two others memes to me.
Whatever. I’ll be getting my cut of the family fortune before an outsider like you gets a piece. >:p
Barbecue popcorn…are you serious? Somebody black came up with that.
Math is my favorite subject. I went through high school(honors courses) and college with A’s in math. Geometry is my least favorite.
I received something from the Social Security department too. It shown how much social security money I would received once I retired if I stop working now. Granted I’m not retiring no time soon but it also reveal that I would probably be receiving less any way b/c funds are low. Well they need to stop taking it out of my check if I’m not going to benefit from it.
I used to eat it fairly often when I was a kid. It’s kind of similar to the stuff they put on some barbecue chips. I even have some barbecue salt/powder at home so I can make it at home.
So if I ever take another math class for whatever reason I know whose mailbox to blow up.
That’s going to be a mess but I feel you. Seems like they’re robbing Peter to pay Paul. It’s only a matter of time before social security implodes on itself.
You know what? I cant do the cherry stem thingy.
I like this one. I think I have done this. I just might do it again.
You can’t? Can you fold your tongue?
I have some that I’ve been thinking of updating one day when I’m really bored or have absolutely nothing to blog about.
Ok so whenever I need a meme I’m coming here and please dont overdo it makin love to the hand she needs a break too LOL
My dick and right hand are between restraining orders so they need to get in where they fit in while they can. They can have a break when the court works out visitation rights. 😀