Happy 2008 everybody! Hope everyone enjoyed their time off, assuming you took some time off, doing whatever it is you wanted to do. Christmas was kind of blah. I finally got my portable GPS. My mom went the tricky route and pulled one over on me. She had me believing that my GPS was actually a gift for my brother-in-law. She even went so far as to delivering an empty, gift wrapped box to my brother-in-law while I was in the car. I still don’t get why she feels the need to surprise knowing full well that hate surprises. I go out of my way to ruin any surprises that involve me. I’d later find out that my mom was concerned about me buying one on my own because I’ve been wanting one for so long. Truth of the matter is if my refund had gotten here earlier I probably would have bought me one for Christmas.

I did kind of guess what I was getting before Christmas though. Since there was really only three things I wanted, a laptop computer, a GPS, and a Nintendo Wii, it was easy to rule out the computer and the Wii by looking at the box. I figured this out even though she wrapped my gift in two different boxes and tried stuffing them to throw me off. I also got a rain shower head faucet for my shower. I kind of miss the higher pressure my old shower head exerted. Of course the previous head was broken while taking it off so even if I wanted to go back I’d have to buy a new one.

I’m in the market for a laptop computer. I kind of have my eyes and heart on a Toshiba X205. I like the Apple notebooks but they’re kind of expensive, incompatible (or difficult), software wise, to use for some of the things I want to do, and I haven’t used an Apple since middle school (a loooong time ago). When I first looked at it I think it was one price, I guess it was on sale. Last week they were giving out two free games with it. Oh yeah, it’s a gaming capable computer. Now when I went to check on it this week it went up $200 in price and no free games. That fucking sucks rotten crotch! I really wish I knew someone that either worked for Toshiba or Best Buy and could secure me a discount. I’m kind of torn between waiting and seeing if it might possibly go on sale again or getting something else from somewhere else. I’ve played around with configurations on several sites but to get a computer with equivalent features would cost me more at least a few hundred dollars more. I need to get my comfortable shoes and go back to manhoeing.

I didn’t really feel like going anywhere Christmas day, as I was content to just lounge around a be a lazy bum all day. Eventually, I ending up going over to my sister’s house for Christmas dinner. It was okay with the exception of a lack of eye candy. Little Miss Short Shorts didn’t wear anything tight so I guess she singlehandedly gave a lot of knucklebabies a temporary stay of execution. My sister tried to get me to eat some “normal” food and offered to do so for $100. She didn’t take me up on the offer. I think one of these days she’s actually going to pay up just to try to punk me out. Guess I should ask some chicks how to get over the gag reflex then or otherwise I may end up coating everything near me in a nice layer of partially digested food and stomach acid. Mmm yummy!

Val came up from Parts Unknown to spend some time with me. Part of the plan was to see Alien vs. Predator- Requiem so she wanted to see the first AvP. I decided to give the GPS a little test by driving to somewhere I haven’t been before so we went to the Palladium (http://www NULL.uptownbirmingham8 NULL.com/index NULL.htm). I followed the directions the GPS gave me and still got lost. Part of it was my fault and part of it was due to the info my girlfriend, the name Val derisively gave my GPS, gave me. It’s a nice little theater so I think I’ll be back. Now that I know where it is I think I can go back without getting lost. Now if I’ll be able to find the parking garage closest to it (the one we went to wasn’t it) is another thing altogether.

AvPR was okay. There were some undigested throat babies in the theater that kept laughing every time something violent happen, which was pretty much every couple of minutes or so. Please women either: a.) don’t allow your teenagers out without supervision, b.) pick better men to father your children, or c.) swallow instead of unleashing the shame and failure of your loins upon the world. Thanks. Now where was I? Oh yeah, AvPR. It picked up exactly where AvP left off with the Predalien (the predator/alien hybrid) being hatched from the dead Predator’s chest. The Predalien kills all of the Predators on board the ship causing it to crash land in a small Colorado town but not before the Predators send out a distress signal. The rest of the movie pretty much boils down to this: Predalien wants to impregnate anyone it can find, the Predator wants to hunt and kill the Predator and his progeny, and the humans just want to get the fuck out of town before they’re murdered like the stupid little cattle they are.

I had a running joke with Val all weekend that people with dreads are dirty. Not dirty as in don’t wash their asses but dirty as in the tactics they use to get things done. Every time something bad happened I blamed it on people with dreads. It was funny. Of course I have to say that due to my love of gadgets I have to side with the Predators even if they do have the alien Rastafarian thing going. The Predalien was badass but the Predator was even badder.

The Good: The movie is full of violence and action. The Predalien was a badass but the Predator was even more so. It wasn’t rated PG-13 like the previous movie in the series. Gotta love a movie that has face huggers and throat babies. If women could really get pregnant like that I’d have a small country of bastard children by now.

The Bad: This series totally spits in the face of Alien continuity. I’d say character development was an afterthought but that would imply that there was actually any thought into any of the characters. The humans. I didn’t care about any of them. I don’t know why the studios put the focus on humans when the movie should have been about the Predator and the Aliens tearing shit up. Who gives a fuck if the pizza boy gets with the stupid blond? If you’re going to make the story about the humans then give me a reason to give a damn about them. Is that so hard? The movie ended kind of abruptly and wasn’t all that satisfying kind of like Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest. It’s obviously setting up a sequel which will probably lead us into space and either the Alien or Predator home worlds.

My letter grade for Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem was a C-.

We even got around to seeing I Am Legend too. Val seemed kind of blah about it but at least she doesn’t have an irrational and dare I say an un-American hatred of Will Smith like some people who I won’t name here. Yeah, I’m talking about you. I was halfway tempted to scare her during the movie but I didn’t want to embarrass her in public or make her spill her popcorn. I Am Legend was okay. It started off really slow but picked up towards the second half of the movie. I think we were both expecting a bit more action and a little less character study. I really wasn’t expecting a balls to the wall Die Hard experience so I wasn’t as disappointed as she was. I pretty much knew what to expect but I guess Val was expecting the movie to be more action packed like the previews.

The good: The second half of the movie, Will Smith, Samantha, and any sequence with the infected humans and animals.

The bad: The movie had more than it’s share of plot holes. If the infected people pretty much devolved socially to the point of having no social structure whatsoever then how come they hung out with each other, had a leader, and even kept infected dogs? How come Will Smith’s character Lt. Col. Neville (thanks Mr. Cage, the name escaped me and I didn’t feel like looking it up) didn’t try to fuck the chick that rescued him since his wife and child were dead and he’s had nothing but the companionship of mannequins, his dogs, and his experiments/”patients” to keep him company? The movie was predictable even if you didn’t read the book it’s based on or seen the previous two remakes, The Last Man on Earth or The Omega Man. Samantha’s fate.

My letter grade for I Am Legend was a B-.

Val finally got to see some snow. Since it snowed late on New Year’s Eve and into New Year’s Day. I was a little disappointed that I only got one Happy New Year text or phone call. Not that I wanted my phone to ring off the hook nonstop or anything but I’m a Libra and we’re attention whores so what can I say? I want attention when I want it. We watched Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve special. Every time Val saw Dick Clark she just looked sad. She’s a softie like that. Whenever Dick Clark dies New Year’s Eve won’t be the same. Ryan Seacrest is bland, talentless, and wears entirely too much makeup. I’m not talking about the typical TV makeup either. I think the whole metrosexual line is crossed when you start wearing lipstick, mascara, rogue, and eye shadow. Shit if you’re going to wear all of that then you might as well wear a short skirt, high heels, a frilly pastel colored thong and make daddy some money. What?! I got off track ranting about femme dudes.

I’m still not sure of the exact total of snow my city got but I believe it was between six and eight inches. It would have to snow on the day she was going home. Fortunately there weren’t many people on the street as I drove her to the airport. The roads weren’t all that great. Not necessarily because of the plowing but more so because of how they seem to pave the newer streets. It’s like they have ridges in the street and snow, slush, and ice can get between the ridges and make driving more problematic then it should or needs to be. I’m not really used to sharing things, prolonged togetherness, or her sleep schedule (she’s an early bird and I’m a night owl) but I was kind of sad to see her leave. School resumes on Monday and I’m not looking forward to it all. Back to real life I guess. Oh joy.

*****Update*****

I ordered my computer so soon I’ll have another girlfriend vying for my attention. Yay! I can’t wait to turn her on, finger her, and stick dicks discs in her ‘puter pussy hard drive. Oh yeah, come to daddy and make daddy cum you sexy computer bitch. Oh shit, did I say that out loud type that? Hopefully I won’t drool on her…too much.