Random thoughts after Easter 2008

Easter wasn’t really anything special. In fact I didn’t even feel like doing anything that took me too far or too long away from my bed. My sister had a falling out with Lil Miss Short Shorts so I was afraid she wouldn’t be there and I’d have no eye candy. Well apparently they made up because Lil Miss Short Shorts was there. There was also a white chick there who was working with a little something in the ass department. I would’ve ran the whole “you got any black in you” line but her son was obviously a mulatto and she was with her man who was black. Fuck! She had on some sweat pants and her ass was eating them. They were riding all up in the crack of her ass. Shit, I wanted to put in an application to be her wedgie boy. Yes, it was that serious! I couldn’t see any panty lines so either she wasn’t wearing any or she had on something ultra skimpy. Either way it was hot. I’m kicking myself for not taking any pictures of it. Oh well. Maybe she’ll be back for Memorial Day in something tighter and skimpier. I’ll have to file her ass away for a knuckle baby murder spree night. Mmm ass!

I feel strange. It seems like everyone is annoying to me nowadays and when I’m not feeling annoyed I don’t feel particularly close to anyone. I feel myself going into hermit mode again. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t feel that way but I don’t know how not to.

I’m starting to think I’m the black sheep of my family. It seems as if some of my sister’s in-laws don’t know that I’m agnostic. My brother-in-law never wants to lead the prayer before dinner and every time someone suggests that I do it. My sister always chimes in that I should even though she knows that given a choice between a prayer and $1 I’ll always take the dollar because at least I can do something with a dollar. I wonder if she knows I’m flipping her off with my eyes. I’m sure she does. I also had to break it to some people that I didn’t particularly care for the great black hope, Barack Obama either. You would’ve thought I swung a sack of puppies and babies on jagged rocks with some of the looks I got. If my sister had kids I’d probably be crazy uncle Freaky.

I bought my mother an 8 GB Zune instead of a 30 GB or 80 GB model because she swore up and down she wasn’t going to listen to music like that. Why did she get on my sister’s computer and download enough songs to fill it up? Now she’s talking about she might need a bigger one. If she does I can give her current mp3 player away but fuck it I might sell it and pocket the money. I only wish Pussy’s radio had an aux jack and/or played mp3 CDs but unfortunately it doesn’t. I’ll have to rectify that next year when I get my next ride. I still have to christen her Freaky Deaky style before I return her to the dealership.

I would’ve been bored as hell on Easter and for most of the weekend if it wasn’t for my text buddy.

The highlight of Easter for me was playing with my sexy bitch. Yes sir, Trina may be the baddest bitch but Tantrum is the sexiest. LOL

tantrumeaster.jpg

I bet the people waiting for Spring are having fits. It snowed Friday and will probably snow again tomorrow. Personally, at this point I’d still rather have snow than rain but winter was decent for once (sixth snowiest winter in Michigan) so if spring wants to rear its head I won’t feel particularly cheated.

Speaking of spring it’s that time of year to add and delete people from blogrolls. Of course, I’ve kept mine kind of lean so I don’t really have to delete anyone. It would be nice to beef it up a little but that’s easier said than done. I tend to like newer bloggers (and taking their bloginity) and I’m kind of picky. I prefer blogs that haven’t made the rounds yet with the same 20 or 30 bloggers that seem to pop up every fucking where you look. It’s nice to read people finding their voices, gaining confidence, and even becoming popular. However, once they become popular I tend to lose interest. Mainly because once those same 20 or 30 bloggers add them to the rounds the blogs start becoming like every other blog on the rounds. It would be nice to find some more Detroit bloggers someone should organize them.

Speaking of Detroit bloggers, I was talking to someone who made a comment about Detroit bloggers. She said that she read a few and that some of their posts sounded like I could’ve written it. I’ve been told that we’re sarcastic, funny as hell, a bit perverted, and have a tendency to be on the angry side. Moi, angry? I will strangle you with a wire hanger and paper cut your nipples for saying some shit like that! The sarcasm might be true but there ain’t no perverts around here. I’m as pure as fresh fallen snow and I’m sweeter and more innocent than every newborn baby born so far this year combined. It’s true. It’s damned true.

How come whenever I ask women about their family, friends, or co-workers they tell me something fucked up? Is it me? I don’t believe for a minute that they hang or even associate with all of these stray manbeasts so what about me isn’t good enough?

Me: Is your hairdresser hot?
Random woman: Nope, she looks like shit on a stick and smells even worse.

Me: Does your friend have a nice ass?
Her: Yeah, if you like women with concave asses. You know people with concave asses can’t wear thongs right?
Me: That’s just mean.

Me: Your sister is yummy as fuck!
3rd woman: She has a uniboob, a 3rd nipple, she’s part monkey, and can only get off on midget bukkake.
Me: Oh come on! You’re just making shit up now.
3rd woman: I forgot to mention that she’s a lesbian who only eats granola and dates college mascots.
Me: Don’t talk to me.

I’ve checked all of my usual sources and I still haven’t found any good memes as of late. Where are they hiding?

Why does the parking lot at Kroger look like a pond?

Microsoft really needs to start making some accessories for their Zune mp3 players.

It’s not normally in my nature to be trusting, let down my guard, get close to people, or let them get close to me. Please don’t make me regret giving you a chance.

I’m starting to feel the need to throw up some walls.

It’s bad enough when there’s snow on the ground and you see some white person with legs paler than the snow in a pair of shorts. Why do I keep seeing black teens following this stupidity?

What’s the deal with pink lemonade? If there’s no such thing as pink lemons then what exactly is so different between pink lemonade and regular lemonade?

Guess I was wrong about the Wayne County prosecutor going after Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Good for her. Hopefully, after everything is said and done Detroit voters will quit being Kilpatrick apologists and he’ll be looking for a new job, maybe working as a bouncer at the Black Orchid or something.

With my next post I will have over 600,000 words published on my blog. I’m also getting close to the 7,000th comment on my blog and my 500th post. I have absolutely no idea whatsoever to mark my 500th post. Well, actually I do but I don’t think it would be received very well so if you have any ideas feel free to share.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.