I will not be ignored, when boy crushes go bad

It’s that time of the month again. No, not that time of the month you dumbass! It’s time for our themed post. Last month it was about a memorable kiss and this month it’s about a fight. Growing up I’ve always found it difficult to maintain relationships with males. For whatever reason guys just ended up not liking me. I was thoughtful, soft spoken, sensitive, and generally fair and nice. Maybe they thought I was soft or spoiled or both. Who knows? Eventually, I learned to return the sentiment and to this day besides my male best friend D. I have no male friends. I don’t trust males, I don’t relate to them and since they’re going to stab me in the back or start disliking me for whatever random reason I don’t see the point in even attempting to cultivate relationships with males.

One day my cousin was over. Actually, we’re not related by blood but I consider him family. He’s the son of my mom’s best friend (and my sister’s godmother). Anyway, we’re outside playing badminton and one of my “friends” from down the block named Gray came by and wanted me to hang with him. I told him that I couldn’t ditch my cousin and his mom didn’t want him ripping and running up and down the block. I guess Gray was on his period or something because he was acting clingy, bitchy, and jealous. I felt like a tree full of monkeys and he was swinging from my nuts. I told him they’d probably leave in an hour or two and we could hang out. I don’t know if he felt dissed or what but it really wasn’t that serious for me. Now while Gray is hanging with us he’s displaying more and more bitchassness by the minute. He starts saying insulting shit about my cousin on the sly and just doing little shit to fuck with him. Then he doesn’t even try to keep shit on the sly so I step to him and ask him what’s up? My cousin didn’t say or do shit to him. He didn’t even look at him crossed-eyed and my cousin was four years younger than him and much smaller.

This fool starts talking about how he wants to fight my cousin. Huh? What? Hold on! I’m going to need you to replay some of the steps you skipped and explain your logic to me. He grabs a badminton racket and starts walking towards my cousin. I step in between and say, “Dude, you don’t seriously expect me to stand here and let you beat my little cousin with a badminton racket, do you?” Apparently he did. Now I’m no hooligan or thug. You have to fuck with me a lot before I get to the point of throwing ‘bows and fists but damn it you can’t fuck with my people in my face and expect me to stand there flaccid and mute. I’m not cut like that. I grab a racket and tell Gray that he doesn’t have to go home but he does have to leave from here. He still attempts to swing and I block it with my racket. He tries again and I block again. We’re on the lawn on the side of my house having a fucking duel with badminton rackets. Eventually I end up hitting him in the head with my racket and we get into a shoving a match. I’m bigger. I win. He goes home talking some shit about it not being over. Whatever.

The next day he’s attempting to do an intimidation stroll with another kid he was hanging with at the time. The intimidation stroll is when kids used to walk in front of your house or where they knew you’d be with their friends or family in superior numbers to try to fuck you. Obviously they forgot that my best friend and his older brother lived directly next door. If he didn’t already know all I had to do was make a phone call or enough noise and I had backup. They let it be known that after school tomorrow both of them were going to jump me. Gotta love how kids always announced their intentions for the whole damn world to know. Gray was in one of my classes and kept saying how he couldn’t wait until after school so he and his dusty ass boy who I’ll call Dusty were going to have some fun.

I’m not someone who enjoys fighting. One on one I knew I could take either of them if I had to but both? I’m all about the numbers and being at a numerical disadvantage in a fight with competent fighters isn’t a situation I like going into. I told my best friend, D. about the situation at recess. He told me to relax, he had a plan, and everything would be alright. He failed to share any of those details with me and I always get worried when I don’t know the details. Anyway, for once the school day seemed to fly which wasn’t a good thing in this case. D. and I took the same bus and Gray and Dusty took another bus. I was really curious about who’s bus would get to their respective bus stop first.

I’d find out soon enough that it wasn’t my bus. Our bus dropped us off one block over and when I got off the bus I saw Gray and Dusty positioning themselves between the bus stop and my house. Avoiding them wasn’t an option. Fuck! I reposition my backpack so my arms have a good range of movement and start unzipping my jacket. I look for D. and he’s nowhere to be found. Fuck! I look again and see him hiding behind a tree. I’m looking like what the fuck? He motions for me to keep walking. I didn’t have a clue what was going through D.’s head. Didn’t really have time to think about it because I had to figure out how to win a fight against two people. I resume my march and Gray and Dusty start walking towards me. They get halfway towards me when D. lets out this battle cry and comes charging from behind the tree ready to swing. That’s my boy! Gray and Dusty have these “what the fuck” looks on their face and before you know it D. is swinging on Dusty and I’m clocking Gray. All of the nervousness, resentment, and fear I had turned to anger. I tapped into the rage that has always simmered inside me (and to this day still does) and I beat him like battered wife or as close to a battered wife as a third grader could get. Dusty took off and once Gray realized his backup was gone all of the fight left him shortly after. He took off. D. and I high-fived each other, bumped chests, and went home victorious.

Back in the day you got into your little fight and a day or two later you put it all behind you and everything was cool. Not with this crazy motherfucker. He still wouldn’t let it go. He figured that since D. wasn’t in my class and I didn’t have any backup that things would be different. We shared an art class. In fact we sat at the same table. There were four people to a table and he sat directly across from me. He kept talking shit. I tried to ignore him since I already had a win over him but I couldn’t. I remember feeling hot and getting up from my chair. I remember my eyes started to sting then I lost it. I got up and flipped my chair over then I ran over to his side of the table and just began hitting him with lefts and rights while he was in the chair. I knocked him out of the chair. He got up and started hitting me back. I didn’t feel any of his punches. I picked him up and body slammed him onto the table. The kids at our table and the table immediately next to us got up and scurried out of the way. Gray was trying to kick me off of and away from him while he was prone on the table and the tears were making it hard for me to see straight but I kept punching that bastard until the art teacher grabbed me off of him and broke us up. He looked a bit worse for wear and I told him to say something now. I dared him. The teacher sent me out of the room told me to calm down. When I came back Gray was moved to another table.

Later on, maybe during a class change or something I saw Gray at a water fountain. He was getting a drink and I rammed his head into the faucet or whatever you called it and told him to say something about me again and see what happens. I never had a problem with him again. He stayed away from me. He pretty much stayed down the street at his house or went on another block to play with people. My house was one of the main neighborhood hangouts and you weren’t hanging at my house if we had beef. Which means you’d be pretty lonely when you wanted to hang out or play with the other kids our age on the block. Fuck him! I don’t remember seeing him around the school much after that so I’m assuming they moved or he asked to be transferred to another school. Next time you want my attention like that send some bitches over, give me money, or send some bitches over with money.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.