Rape van loves Pussy?

Not a damn thing interesting happened over the weekend.  It snowed and it was cold.  That was pretty much it.  I think the rape van may have a crush on Pussy.  Don’t know why but the rape van seems to park next to my sweet Pussy every chance it gets.  Mind you the other end space is available (the end spaces have more room) and often times there are two free spaces so why he always parks next to me, I have no clue.  One of the yummy chicks got stuck in the snow.  The funny thing is every time I’ve ever seen the chick she’s either yapping on her phone or her blue tooth.  I don’t know who she was talking to but she was in a foul mood and they were getting cussed out.  Methinks she’s a Scorpio because they’re evil and mean as hell.  *Waves at my blog wife.*  You’re excluded from the evil and mean Scorpio comment.  The snow was kind of high for her car and listening to her engine strain like it did it seemed underpowered.  Guess no one ever taught her how to rock the car.  Oh well.  I was going to offer to help her, to satisfy my one nice deed for the year and because she’s hot but I’ll be damned if I get snapped at for trying to be nice.  Besides, being nice makes me itch and I already have dry skin so no thanks.  I love being off of the ground and having four wheel drive.  Every now and then I have to talk smack to the snow.  I’ll turn up the radio, get my head nod on, look at the snow and say, “That all you got?  You can’t stop Pussy!  She runs through snow like a drunk driver mows down women and children.”

I wasn’t woken up by engines, scraping, and Spanglish so I’m assuming no one has been by to plow the parking spaces today.  I understand it’s MLK Day but he wasn’t the only one who had a dream.  I have a dream that lazy ass motherfuckers of every race do their fucking jobs and move some of this snow.  Now damn it!   Yeah, I said it.  What?!  I’m sure they’ll want to watch the inauguration tomorrow so it’s theoretically possible we won’t see a snow plow until Wednesday.

I was looking through my stats, for people to ban (I’ve banned three countries), and came across a search string that brought someone to my blog.  The keywords were: slant eyed bitch, cum, chink.  Charming.  It’s cold so I guess the weirdos are staying in and Googling.  Great.

I’m surprised I haven’t completely destroyed this box of cheese and crackers I bought last week.  I thought they’d be done by the weekend but it looks like they’ll last at least until tomorrow.

Wonder how long it’s going to take everyone celebrating to turn against Barack Obama.

I can’t wait until Friday to see  Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.  Was My Bloody Valentine 3D’s release date changed?  I could’ve sworn that wasn’t supposed to come out until February 13th to tie in with Valentine’s Day.  I want to see it in 3D but I’m not sure any of the theaters around here are set up for it.  I’ll have to search.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure the Friday the 13th remake comes out on Friday the 13th.  If everything falls the way I want them to I’ll be in Parts Unknown watching it with Val.

I’ve been looking for my next fun social site and it appears I was there all along.  It’s Twitter.  There are some yummy looking hotties on Twitter.  Sometimes I wonder about some of the follow requests I get.  Whenever I get one I check out their pages and some of them look so innocent and milquetoast I wonder if they clicked follow by mistake.  I’m almost tempted to tweet them back and ask if they have the right person.  You know I cuss right?  A lot.  Seriously.  I’m also probably going to flirt with all of your hot friends too and make lewd and inappropriate suggestions to them.  I can see myself unintentionally terrifying some poor hausfrau, causing her to flee Twitter.  The very thought amuses me.  Now to find some fun people to follow that can be converted to new readers.  Freakytopia needs some new booty around these parts.

I did get some good news today!  My e-mail notification popped up and notified me about receiving an e-mail at one of my Yahoo accounts.  I checked the e-mail and I’ll be damned, I won a sweepstakes.  Entering sweepstakes has been a hobby in the past and I’ve slacked off for a while.  However, I think it’s time I got back into the swing of things.  It’s no $10,000 online shopping spree like one of my best friends’ sister won but it’s the biggest prize I’ve won to date.  What did I win you ask?  A $50 gift card to White Castle.  Woohoo!  Of course when they asked me to confirm my address the website wants to act brand new.  Please don’t make me angry website, you wouldn’t like me very much when I’m angry.  *pimp hand twitches*  I e-mailed prize fulfillment to notify them of the problem hopefully, I’ll hear from them in the next day or two.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.