‘Sup bitches, I’m baaaaack!  Well, until I get bored again. You know how that goes, could be tomorrow, next week, next month, or whenever.  So put on those itty bitty thongs I like and show me some…ASS.  What you thought I was going to say love didn’t you?  Fuck that!  I wanna palm, grope, and slap some ass!   So how are things going?  What?!  You act like I’ve never stared at your ass before.   Anyway, the Ghost of Freaky has been dragged kicking and screaming back into the nether realm so some of you scary types don’t have to worry about being haunted anymore.  Until he’s summoned again he will be amassing my army for my eventual takeover of hell.

The time away has been kind of interesting.  I thought I’d miss blogging but actually before the first week was over it wasn’t even remotely hard.  It got to the point that I didn’t even log in or check my stats for a couple of weeks at a time.  Anyone that’s read me for awhile knows that I’m obsessed with my stats and generally know them like the back of my hand.  It was actually kind of nice walking away and not thinking about or caring if or when the next post would happen, catching up on my blogroll (or wondering why the hell they weren’t updating), and all the other things that had been a habit for so long.  If you have Twitter than you already know a good part of this post, if not then it sucks to be you.  Ha, ha!  Join now and I’ll let you be one of the Twitches in my Twit Harem.  Maybe.

I recently returned from my latest excursion to Parts Unknown.  We went on a road trip so I can add two more states to the list of U.S. states I’ve been to.  It was only a weekend thing and the weary was kind of cold and dreary so we didn’t really get out and do a lot of sightseeing.  I was kind of disappointed because I was really looking forward to taking some pictures, seeing some sights, and generally doing the tourist thing but the weather wasn’t even trying to cooperate.  Maybe next time.  I also didn’t pick up any shot glasses for any of those states either.  Val said she’d look into finding me some shot glasses for those states.  I may look online myself to see if I can find any.  I still need some shot glasses for states I’ve visited before I started collecting shot glasses.  I also wanted to get a couple of souvenirs for some folks but I didn’t really see anything I even remotely thought was cool enough to give someone else.  Wait a minute.  I did get a souvenir for me.  It’s a purple water gun.  I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to take it through TSA even in my checked bag but lo and behold the first thing I did after putting my bags in the back of Pussy was to check for my water gun.  It was there and intact.  Yay!

I ended up going to two birthday parties while I with Val.  During the last one we eneded it with a water gun fight.  I won, of course.  Glasses are good for blocking shots to the eyes at least.  While I was blasting Val with H2O a comment was made that I was shooting her in the face.  A smirk crept across my face and it took great restraint for me not to say, “She likes it when I shoot in her face.”  I had to turn and walk away from that comment.  Glad I can’t be convicted for my thoughts.  *whistles*  I thought the water gun fight was kind of cute and fun.  It made me think about the water wars we used to have on my block when we were kids.  We usually started out with straight water gun action then we had water balloons filled with water that was as cold as you could get it without it freezing.  As the water balloons began to get low then we’d break out the water hoses with the spray nozzles.  Sometimes we’d fill up buckets and try to herd people close enough to get dumped on.  We even used garbage bags and grocery bags as sort of  larger scaled water balloon or water bombs if you will.  Oh those were the days.  Yet another thing I miss about having a house.

I met some of Val’s family and friends.  I must admit that both of those occasions made me nervous.  I have a lot of quirks and anxieties when it comes to meeting new people.  Neither occasion was an exception to that.  First I met some of her family and the introductions honestly left a lot to be desired.  On my blog I tend to say whatever the fuck I’m thinking as I think it.  In person, I tend to be more thoughtful, deliberate, and reserved.  Val introduced me to her mom,  grandmother, and aunt, I believe.  It’s weird because with the exception of her mother she doesn’t really call any of them by traditional family names.  One of my pet peeves with meeting new people are bad introductions.  A lot of people are guilty of them.  While Val introduced me to her family she didn’t really give me any names to address them by.   “Freaky this is my mom.  Mom this is Freaky.”  See the problem?  Sure it was nice meeting your mom and now she knows what to call me but what do I call her?  I hate that!  Seriously that irks me!  Then I have to try to be generic and/or sneaky and glean the proper way to address your people or figure out some way to address them without them thinking I’m ditzy, rude, stupid or whatever else because you didn’t give me vital information.  Oh did I mention that I absolutely hate being unprepared?  Oh it’s true.  I suppose I could just say, “Hey Val’s mom” or “Excuse me Val’s grandmother”, but I refuse.

Besides the not really an introduction thing, I thought Val was kind of cool to me around her people.  I don’t think it’s reasonable let alone proper to tell or expect me to do certain things when I’m up in someone else’s house.  For example, I was thirsty and asked Val for something to drink.  She pretty much handed me a cup and was like get it yourself.  I swear if I had my truck and knew where I was I would’ve got up and left there with her family.  It’s my belief that it’s disrespectful to walk up in someone’s house without being invited in.  It’s also disrespectful to rifle through their cabinets and closets.  Can you follow my trail of thought?  Were you specially educated?  *sigh*  I think it’s also disrespectful to visit someone’s house, especially someone I just met, and go through their refrigerator.  Fortunately, I’m used to retreating into myself and tuning annoyances out.  Well, that and I had Mimi and my mp3 player with me to entertain me.  I told Val later that I thought she was kind of mean to me.  I don’t think she thought I was serious or took it seriously though.

Meeting some of her friends was, different.  The introductions were somewhat better.  At least I had names to call people.  Although there were a lot of people and honestly, I don’t really do well with lengthy introductions.  I get bored, my mind wonders, and I just don’t do well in big social gatherings.  After about the fifth person I pretty much tune out.  I’ll nod when appropriate, shake hands, etc. and appear to be there  invested and engaged  but I’m not and I won’t remember any of the names after that point.  I actually think I hate meeting friends more than I do family.  At least with family you can sense some kind of warmth.  Sure you’re an outsider but families generally try to include you.  Friendships are pretty much about being selective and exclusion of outsiders.  Knowing me I’d feel like an outsider anyway because well, I pretty much always feel like an outsider.  It’s just that when you meet with and/or hang with people that are friends my feeling of exclusion is heightened even more than it is normally, I suppose.  Which leads to yet another pet peeve of mine.

I hate when people bring me around their friends and ignore me.  I’m already at a disadvantage, clueless, and excluded from 90% of the conversations because I don’t know anyone there but you.  I don’t know the inside jokes or back story of anything you’re talking about and the only reason I know it’s an inside joke is because you keep saying it and laughing at something that on the surface doesn’t even seem remotely funny.  That and I’m generally a very intuitive person.  Now, I’m not saying you need to be under me 24/7.  Go mingle some.  It is my opinion, feeling, and belief that since you brought me there to meet your friends, you are the only one there I know, and the only reason I went was because you wanted to be there then it is your obligation and responsibility to make sure I’m entertained, comfortable, and even still alive.  If that’s too difficult then simply don’t go to any parties while I’m there or go without me.  It’s not fun for me to be dropped off and abandoned around a bunch of people I don’t know and be excluded by circumstances and/or intent while you don’t have a care or concern in the world.  That’s one reason why I don’t mix my relationships or friends.

We saw three movies during my stay, Dragonball Evolution, Fast & Furious, and Crank 2: High Voltage.  If I was going to rank them I’d say Fast & Furious > Crank 2: High Voltage > Dragonball Evolution.  I may do some type of review for one, two, or maybe all three of them some other time.  I finally picked up Bolt on DVD (I’m going to get all of the Pixar movies in my collection by the end of the year) and The Day the Earth Stood Still.

We also went bowling and stunk up the alley.  Wow, I haven’t bowled that bad since my first time bowling as a child.  It was uglier than Oprah Winfrey smelling like hot, rotten fish, with morning breath, and her team of special effects artists makeup artists going on strike.  *shudders*  There’s a bowling alley not to far from me so I may have to hang out there and start practicing.  I definitely have to improve before I spend money on a customized, personalized bowling ball and gear.  Oh yeah, it might be that serious.  Now if only I could figure out how to bowl without breaking my fingernails.  That shit is for the birds and it’s annoying as hell too!  I’m so glad I didn’t make any bets on this game.  I couldn’t get a strike to save Sweet Baby Jeebus that night.  Now that I think about it every time we bowl on that side of the alley we do awful.

Seems like my mom’s gimp genes decided to manifest themselves during the trip.  I must have spent at least half of my stay displaying some form of gimpiness.  I fell down some stairs.  I don’t know what happened but my right big toe was absolutely killing me for days.  Since I could move it, albeit with a shitload of excruciating pain,  I ruled out it being broken.  My mom thinks I probably fractured it.  The pain was so bad I briefly considered the agonizing hell I’d have to endure dealing with using my insurance in another state and taking a trip to the E.R.  If it’s a simple fracture or a break there really isn’t much they could do anyway so I toughed it out.  Even the sheet touching my toe at night was enough to make me yelp.  Oh did I mention that both of my legs were sore from the fall and being confined in the car crossing three states?  I couldn’t put in weight on my right foot, my balance was shot to the point that Val would have to walk me up and down any stairs because me and stairs had beef and the stairs kicked my ass!  I still haven’t seen a doctor about my toe yet.  It feels a lot better but it’s not 100% by any means.  That wasn’t even my only fall.  I had another fall about a week after the first one.  This time I was sitting in one of those cheap plastic lawn chairs.  The fall felt like it was in slow motion a la the Matrix.  Compared to the first fall it was like landing on feathers.  No injuries but I’m done with those cheap ass plastic chairs.  I’d rather stand.