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AR Gal gave me the idea for this particular Fuck it Friday! Thank you and fuck yo suggestion nigga! What?! Had to say it.
Fuck yo middle name nigga! I can’t fucking stand people who use stupid phrases as their middle names on facebook! Every time I see a simple ass bitch like Shaniqua “TheRightOneBaby” Banks or Jerome “YaBoyDoinItBig” Jackson the first thing I think is these motherfuckers didn’t get enough hugs as kids. Seriously! You need a hug? Well, hug deez nuts you silly ass bitches!™ That’s my middle name! Google me hoes!
Fuck yo Confederate History Month nigga! So people in Virginia actually voted for an asshole who would even suggest a Confederate History Month and Bill O’Reilly thinks racism is a thing of the past?! I don’t know what the fuck it is with delusional ass Southerners always trying to bring that shit back but in case Juneteenth still hasn’t reached your ignorant asses in the backwoods, you lost the Civil War! Seriously, you got your asses kicked and people wiped their asses with the stars & bars. Johnny Reb ain’t coming home and the South will NOT rise again! Let that shit go and move on, Clem!
Fuck yo grammar nigga! Fuck people who interchange cum and come all willy nilly! Now I don’t usually play grammar police because as soon as you start correcting others grammar you fail to notice all the mistakes you’ve made in yours, so fuck you for catching my mistakes in advance, but I have to speak on this. I’m tired of seeing people abusing cum! You see what I did? Yeah, that was clever! Cum = semen, baby juice, love lotion, man milk, booty butter, liquid Freaky, etc. Come means to move towards something although if you’re ultra proper in speech it can also mean the same as cum. I never want to hear another male tell his male friend to “cum by his spot”! That shit sounds gay as hell! I also don’t want to see demure church ladies or someone’s granny using it on their social media of choice either. “Cum” is a bodily fluid and should only be used in a clinical or sexual manner, period. I understand Twitter only gives you 140 characters but you need to abbreviate something else. If you’re going to abuse cum then get naked and do it right, damn it!
Fuck yo likes nigga! Fuck people who pretty much like whatever status you put down regardless of intent. I seriously think I could mention sticking a shotgun in my mouth and pulling the trigger and at least one person would like it. Shit like that makes me wish I could jump through your monitor and stomp the fucking shit out of your fingers and while they’re on your keyboard!
Fuck yo slutty ass clothes for kids nigga! Look I’ll be the first in line to march for someone’s right to wear slutty clothes as I am very strongly pro slutty. Seriously, if I had the power I’d require all women I’m not immediately related to and between the ages of 16-50 to dress like sluts at least five days a week. However, with that said, how many people signed off at Primark (http://www NULL.washingtonexaminer NULL.com/breaking/discount-clothing-retailer-primark-withdraws-padded-bikini-bras-for-children-after-criticism-90820234 NULL.html) when they were presented with the idea of selling padded bikini tops to little girls as young as seven years old?! This isn’t even the first time they signed off skankifying young girls. The same chain of British stores also sold thongs for little girls with messages on the back like “wink, wink”. And I always thought grandparents in their 30s or having a stripper for a daughter was just the result of bad parenting. *shrug*
Fuck yo USB cable nigga! I swear it’s like my sister is straight blocking (is it still cock block when a chick blocks a dude or is it cunt blocking?) when it comes around to giving me pictures of her friends and me together. She still hasn’t uploaded the picture of me and her friend from my mother’s birthday dinner last month! Matter of fact she never did send me a copy of the picture I took with another one of her friends last year. Women need to quit trying to keep the horny Black man down. That’s not cool! Really, what’s so difficult about hooking up a cable to your digicam, hooking up the other end to your computer, and sending me all of two pictures? Straight hateration damn it! I hate when people say they’re going to send me a picture and I’m still waiting for it months later. Give me the cable and I’ll upload it myself. By the time you get around to it another holiday will have come around and I can just have her pose for my phone. Mmm, yeah, pose for the camera phone.
Fuck yo new smartphone nigga! What the fuck is the difficulty in making a couple of models in all ranges of feature and prices that include a physical, QWERTY keyboard? I understand that a lot of people may prefer a virtual keyboard or have no preference at all but a significant amount of people prefer and demand a physical keyboard. Why not make two models of new smartphones? One with a keyboard and one without. Let me be great and get a sexy, sleek new smartphone with a goddamn keyboard! One size does NOT fit all!
Fuck yo T-Mobile nigga! I sat online with T-Mobile for a half an hour complaining about my phone’s fluctuating signal, dropping calls, and other problems trying to see what they could do about it. After all was said and done all I got was a promise that they’d request the engineers check the service in my area. That and a quarter will still not buy me a damn thing! I tried to talk to my girl last night and someone forgot to mention it was dropped call night. Unless something significantly changes I’ll be jumping ship once my contract expires in September. Hell, if I can figure out a way to get out of it without paying the ETF I will. Weak wack ass network!
Fuck yo Tea Party nigga! I call those motherfuckers tea baggers because that’s what they can all do to each other, while slurping all the Santorum they can handle off of those musty, dusty racist nuts! Tea Party = KKK without the comfy hoods and robes.
Fuck yo jealousy nigga! How the fuck do people get jealous when I flirt with or bring up miscellaneous chicks and we’re not even fucking?! You haven’t offered me any pussy, followed up on the pussy you did offer, or even act like you’re interested but get pissed off at me for mentioning all the chicks I want to squirt up in and paint their insides? You ain’t got a leg to stand on so hoe sit down before you fall on your ass! You have no right to be jealous about shit if you ain’t breaking me off. Make my right nut jealous and suck the left, da fuck outta here with that shit!
Fuck yo unauthorized biography nigga! So someone decided to write about Oprah who apparently had an interracial relationship with John Tesh in the 70s. One night he went bye-bye and never came back, apparently because he couldn’t handle all the looks and whispers. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that that ugly ass bitch looked like E.T.’s tranny granny and him not wanting to be seen in public with that. Mmm hmm, right!
Fuck yo promises nigga! If I busted a nut every time someone promised me something and didn’t follow through I’d be dangerously dehydrated and sterile. Words are pretty and nice but until you prove you’re willing and able to take the actions to make your words true you are full of shit and a fucking liar in my book. So please spare me the drivel of telling me how different you are from other people I know or who are in my life because you’re not. You’re just like all the others whether you want to believe it or not. Want to prove me wrong? Show and prove instead of flapping your gums or shut the fuck up!
Fuck yo hate on Detroit nigga! Look I’ll be the first person to admit Detroit has some problems but all the hate we get from the national and international media you’d think Detroit ran up in your house, raped all your females, forced your little bastards to shoot up drugs, and murdered your puppy after looting the house. Ain’t no way in hell Detroit is more dangerous than Juarez, Mexico, Karachi, Pakistan, and Baghdad, Iraq! Get the fuck out of here! You call the special Hope & Heartbreak but I didn’t see one damn glimmer of hope in your broadcast. You always go to the run down, blighted neighborhoods but never show any of the historic, thriving, good middle class neighborhoods. Nor do you give any sort of timeline for all the bad events you show making them look like they happened in a short period of time when certain incidents were years apart. Way to go with the shoddy journalism.
Fuck yo lack of advertising nigga! I missed the Strikeforce MMA special last Saturday because of poor advertising by everyone involved. That’s not cool! CBS has done a piss poor job of hyping up their event especially the week going in to it. I don’t watch CBS much outside of Sunday and Tuesday nights and since my shows were either pre-empted or repeats there wasn’t any reason for me to even tune in. So thanks for nothing!
Fuck yo pamphlets nigga! I’m so fucking sick and tired of minding my own business and being approached by someone wanting to talk to me about their religion, God, or Jesus. I know enough people steeped in religious dogma to know that you’d be offended if I approached you out of the blue in a parking lot and said, “Organized religion is a sham. You don’t believe in the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or Santa Claus so how can you pick & choose the fictitious deities characters you choose to worship believe in? Even if a God does exist you can’t know him/her/it anyway.” Feel free to believe in whatever the fuck you want to. I may even have some questions and may want to sincerely discuss your faith and beliefs sometime but unless I ask you then keep that shit to yourself and I’ll do the same. You won’t get any brownie points for “saving” my soul, assuming they even exist and I have one so quit trying.
Fuck yo stupid ass nigga! So now kids are so fucking stupid and bored that they’re spraying body spray on themselves and setting themselves on fire. Really? Sorry but if you’re that damn stupid you deserve to be lit on fire like a human candle and burn to death. Before your thoughtless act of self immolation is over I hope your flame manages to kill your parents and all of your siblings as well. Frankly your gene pool is too fucking stupid to be allowed out into the world to breed.
Fuck yo non-cussing ass nigga! People that don’t swear are a special kind of abnormal to me. Case in point last week the cast of Kick-Ass were making the rounds doing press junkets for the movie. Now no one had a problem saying the name of the movie up until it premiered. So why did I watch the local news on Monday and the anchors were acting brand new? They showed the poster for the movie Kick-Ass with the name of the movie in big yellow letters so it’s not something offensive or that can’t be said like CumGobblerPissyBloodyPussyFart. Why did this grown ass nigga say he can’t say the name of the movie because his mama might be watching? Shit, my sister and I both got our foul ass mouths from our mother and she’s heard us say some doozies. Grown ass, bitch made, wet crouton, dry cum & pubic hair stuck to your chin, panty waste, motherfucker getting paid six figures and can’t even say ass. Suck my fucking dick and get the fuck out of here!
Fuck yo should’ve been swallowed by your mama ass niggas! Is there really anyone who has visited my blog more than once that isn’t aware of my extreme disdain, hatred, & repulsion of lurkers? Shut your lying ass up! Now even if you didn’t, anyone who has been a regular here for any length of time knows that I wouldn’t even piss on a lurker if they had stomach cancer and my piss was the cure. So I don’t understand why people who used to be regulars will keep popping through, not saying shit, and wonder why they got banned. Oh but there’s more. These same oblivious fucktards will e-mail me about being banned as if I did it by accident. Um nope, I know who the fuck you are. You obviously don’t know who the fuck I am! I’ve been halfway nice since I’ve been gone for a minute but I’m back to banning you bastards because you annoy me and I can! I hate you pussy ass bastards!
Fuck yo celibacy nigga! If I hear one more slutbucket ass hoe talk about giving up sex I’m going to scream. The problem with these chicks isn’t the fact that they have door knob pussies (everyone has had a turn) it’s the fact that they have bad taste in men. Men want a hoe in bed but hoes don’t get rings put on their fingers or introduced to mommy and the rest of the family. You let all the nasty, disrespectful scumbag niggas hit and now want to punish all the other dudes who probably won’t wife you either because you’re not far enough removed from your hoeish ways but might not throw you out like a used cumrag after they’re done because you’re an emotional masochist. Might as well let me nut up in you as well since I haven’t gotten my turn yet before you go into hoe retirement. What?!
Fuck yo NFL nigga! So let me get this straight Michael Vick kills some bitches via dogfighting and gets suspended for two years while Ben Roethlisberger rapes a couple of young bitches and gets a six game suspension? Way to show bias, hypocrisy, sloppy officiating, and stupid, ineffective leadership motherfuckers!
Fuck yo 420, fuck yo taxes, and fuck yo Earth Day niggas! Weed is stinky & wack, getting a refund (other than from credits) is stupid because you’re giving the government an interest free loan, and the only day the Earth is celebrating will be 12/21/12!
This is my first time here (via AR Gal). You’re something like hilarious. I’ll be back!
Welcome to my blog! Thanks, it’s natural! :d
Late and a new lurker…But eventhough we hitting another Friday tomorrow, all this shit applied today. Look forward to more.
Welcome to Freakytopia! :-h Thanks for delurking. The Fuck it Fridays show up as needed, sometimes every week and sometimes weeks between FiF posts. There will be more but I doubt a new one is coming this week.
FIF is back! I had a longer comment, but hit the backspace key & lost it.
So I’m going to give you a hug, and then press the “like” button. Ha! :d
Boooooooo! [-x ~X( x(
*presses ignore button*
the thing that irritates me is from what i can tell, there’s nothing “swagnificient” about him… i guess he’s trying to speak things into existence!
yep, i am yours! haha!
Maybe you’re not looking in the right places for his swag. Maybe you need to look a little lower. :)) What?!
Yes, you are! :”>
that middle name thing on FB irritates me to no end. i have 1 “friend” whose middle male is “MrSwagnificant.” I don’t really know him that well anyway, but that middle name alone led me to hide all of his status updates.
i hate when ppl like status updates that aren’t positive. so, you like that someone has insomnia. i think some ppl confuse liking something w/ empathizing with something. if you can relate, just write some trite little comment and be done with it!
Quit hiding his updates you can “MrsSwagnifcant”. =)) I don’t get the point of it at all but it’s annoying. I don’t think I have any FB friends with attention whore middle names like that…yet.
=)) “Write some trite little comment and be done with it!” You are my BW, yep! It’s like they have no common sense filter or something.
You need a hug? Well, hug deez nuts you silly ass bitches!™ That’s my middle name! Google me hoes! =)) =))
what I don’t understand is people who like there own status! of course U like it, you the one who post it..
Just saying I’m all about the hugs.
I didn’t even know you could like your own status. Yeah, that’s unnecessary.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAS, a Fuck Yo FIF!!!! =d>:d/<:-p I really want to take whoever's 'bright' idea it was to use strange middle names on FB and strangle them. That mess is SO hood. As is purposely misspelling the word come as cum. ~X( This guy I grew up with does it almost all the time. The killer is he uses it when doing 'inspirational' posts. I've since hidden he crazy ass from my feed. Fuck people who pretty much like whatever status you put down regardless of intent.
:)):)):)):)):)):)): One of my classmates mentioned the same thing the other week. She was like damn ya’ll don’t have to press the like button for every thing. There’s not much to like about having cramps. LMAO While I agree with her, I also need for her to be a little more discreet about what she posts. We don’t all need to know that you’re about to get your damn rag. :-t
I haven’t heard about the kids lighting themselves on fire. That’s stupid as hell. So you’d rather die or sit in the ICU Burn Unit -vs- doing something that’s fun? What the fuck is wrong with some of these kids????!!! When we were bored, guess what? We took our asses outside to play. Sometimes I just really don’t get this new generation.
I had to google 4/20. I saw a lot of posts about it on FB the other but didn’t know what hell was so special about such a random date. I realize now that I know a lot of weed heads. LOL
Now, fuck yo post and yo weekend. HOLLA!
I just got a call from the hood and he said don’t put that practice on him. :)) That is so beyond annoying I just want to kick and stomp those people in their genitals…repeatedly.
Cum only inspires my horniness, nothing else.
Ugh and eww! Yeah, I only need to know that stuff if your personality changes drastically during that time or sex comes into play. Otherwise, while I know it’s a natural function, yuck!
I just heard about the kids lighting themselves on fire. Hate to say it but I don’t really care for generation Y. Whatever the reason, they’re just not right and I don’t want them anywhere around me.
I’ve never smoked it and I knew it as Hitler’s birthday before the unofficial weed holiday.
Fuck yo comments and yo weekend too!
I missed MMA 2! 🙁
I liked this format of FIF! YAY ArGal!
Who cares who Oprah dated back in the day!
Ass is a word all over regular tv, why are folks tripping?
Chicks who have had a very active past want to settle down and commit at some point in their life.
I think you may have to take your own pix of your sisters friend’s if it’s that bad! LOL!
Thanks for not correcting my grammer errors. They are just about in every comment or post so eventually it would get annoying 🙂
Thanks for not banning me and allowing me to cum by your blog *wink*
Outside of the near riot I heard the last Strikeforce on CBS even was kind of meh.
She gets a (*) for the idea.
I figured she was one of those chicks that don’t really like black guys. Steadman doesn’t count. I like her even less than I did before.
Beats me, the local stations really have some kind of 50s aversion to the word ass. Kid Rock has a beer with the word ass in it and they wouldn’t say that either. Bitch asses!
There’s no retirement home for hoes that I know of or I’d be working there tempting them. :)) I’m sure they do want to settle down at some point when they aren’t even remotely as hot as they were when they were slutting it up and have several fuck trophies or lotto babies to show off for her efforts. [-( I’m just saying let me put some freak in you before you let the holy ghost run up in you that’s all.
*sigh* You are probably right. My sister is a poopy head. x(
As long as I understand the gist of what’s being said I’m good about not doing that. Besides as long as it’s not a professional/business/education blog or something I’m paying for (I’ve read a few books lately with glaring grammatical errors in it) I don’t care enough to bother.
/:) Uh huh. Don’t make me take you somewhere private and teach you the error of your ways.