Nibble on my smurf berries

My mom is supposed to get out of the hospital today.  The bad news is that she says her doctor wants someone around her 24/7 for the next two weeks.

Hopefully, this headache will go away.

Having to do something generally makes me not want to do it.  It definitely makes me enjoy it a lot less.

I’m glad the Chicago Bears didn’t win the NFC championship game.  *Nelson laugh* I’m still mad about that win over the Lions that the officials gave them.  Go Pittsburgh!

If I hear another chick say black & yellow, and let’s be real, only chicks seem to say it, again I’ll slit her throat with a sharpened spork!   Wiz Khalifa has been around for awhile so it makes me chuckle that so many people are riding his dick now.  Hope he washes it in between all you hoes jumping on it.

My girlfriend asked me a few nights ago about how many chicks I cake with.  I’m not even going to lie.  I now know how those horny pervs feel when they sit down at the counter, trying to enjoy a glass of sweet tea, thinking they’re about to get their dicks wet in some underage pussy, ass, or mouth and then Chris Hanson walks outs.  *blinks*  After I stopped laughing my ass off I always felt a little sorry for those dudes.  I miss To Catch a Predator, that was some good TV.

Maybe somebody could do a To Catch an Internet Hoe show.  That might be funny as hell.  If my Train Wreck Network ever becomes a reality you just might see that show.

Speaking of caking I really need to find some interesting text buddies that are night owls as well.  What?!  I be bored and need some entertainment.

I think I’m going on a Twitter break.  I was just going to delete it again but Val said, “You know you’re going to come back anyway.”   Grrrrr!!!  All I could say was maybe.  Me no likey when she’s right about me.  It’s hard as hell to find interesting and entertaining followers.  In fact, I honestly haven’t figured out how to do so and that frustrates me.  Right now it’s not interesting or entertaining so hopefully going ghost for a minute will give me some ideas and reinvigorate my love/hate relationship with social networking.  Now I just have to decide if I go all the way like my blog wife and delete my Twitter apps and stuff.

Toni Braxton and her sisters are getting a reality show.  Methinks a lot of dicks will be rubbed raw and knuckle babies all over the country will meet their deaths as their outfits get shorter, tighter, and shinier.  Oh what I’d give to be able to dress them.

I don’t know what Antoine Dodson’s reality show is going to be about but my guess is that it’s going to be really, really gay.

The Green Hornet wasn’t bad but it’s not a must see in theaters movie.  It absolutely didn’t need to be in 3D though so if you’re thinking of seeing it and your theater offers it in 2D save a few bucks and see the 2D version instead.  If you’re not a devoted fanboy or girl then you can just chill and wait for it on DVD or NetFlix.

Internet acronym I hate at the moment is lls a.k.a. laughing like shit.  Ugh!

When replies to a conversation becomes a series of one word responses, LOLs, and smiley faces, I assume that you no longer have anything left to say and that the conversation is over.  Am I wrong in this belief?  I ask because occasionally I’ll come across someone who asks what happened or why I suddenly stopped talking to them.  Really?

Val is disappointed the Smurfs movie will be live action instead of animated.  I’m probably going to go see it in August.  Val said she’d pass.  I hope I’m in Parts Unknown when it’s out because if I am I will drag her there kicking and screaming.  I told her they should make a Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, and My Little Pony team up movie called We Raped Val’s Childhood.  LOL!

Four Detroit police officers got shot inside of the precinct for the neighborhood I grew up in over the weekend.  Best believe the shooter is dead.

R.I.P. Jack LaLanne.

Montel Williams endorsing payday loans is kind of sad!

Spread’em, drop & squat!

I want you lil’ baby!

I want some barbecue cheese fries.  *drools*  As far as I know no one sells that and I just made it up in my head but it sounds tasty as hell.

I saw an $11,000 sewing machine on a show recently.  I can’t sew to save my life but I’m a techie and all the tech that thing had might be enough for me to try to learn.  Well since I don’t have $11,000 for it I guess it’s a moot point.

Friday was National Hug Day.  Some of you owe me some hugs but a pair of cute, worn panties is an acceptable substitution.

I need to update the contacts on my phone.

Oprah’s long lost sister isn’t fugly.  I’m shocked.

Has Morgan Freeman always been old?  Seriously, I don’t ever remember him being young.  I bet he was an old ass baby too.

I hear people are being hit on in Word Feud.  I think I need to start playing it again if that’s the case.

Some of you are one more day from being banned.  I kid you not.

I had some Passion tea over the weekend.  It was slap somebody’s mama good!  I had it hot but I’m betting it would taste even yummier iced!  I’ll have to try it.

Like a good neighbor State Farm is there with _____________.

Sometimes I wish quite a few things were different.  Maybe in the next life.

How was your weekend?

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.