5ives – the second five, second set

5ive things my girl thinks is weird about me:
1.  My arm fetish.
2.  How I like to scream, “Nein” while spanking her.
3.  My “irrational” hatred of all things Trey Songz.
4.  Outside of sex and showers I don’t really like being completely naked.
5.  My finicky eating habits.

5ive conventions I want to attend:
1.  Consumer Electronics Show (CES)
2.  San Diego Comic-Con
3.  AVN Adult Entertainment Expo
4.  Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3)
5.  Mobile World Congress

5ive things I’d do if I were President:
1.  Ban B.E.T.
2.  Schedule my speeches to preempt shows I don’t give a fuck about like RHOA and Jersey Shore.
3.  During one of my speeches work in the phrase, “Nigga, do you know who the fuck I am?!”
4.  Have a shitload of people detained, deported, tortured, or killed by my own personal CIA Black-Ops team.
5.  Hire strippers as interns and fuck every last one of them.

5ive more euphemisms for semen:
1.  Booty butter
2.  Throat coat
3.  Tit spit
4.  Milk of Dicknesia
5.  Boo Goo

5ive female friends I need:
1.  A shoplifter.  (I like gifts and my tastes are kind of on the pricey side.)
2.  A slut.  (Always nice to have someone down to receive those emergency liquid Freaky injections whenever the need arises.)
3.  A drunk.  (I never have anyone to drink with.)
4.  A thug bitch.  (Sometimes chicks need to be strongly corrected, it’d be nice to have a chick who can knock a bitch out for me.)
5.  A confidante.  (I miss having someone I can let my guard down with and talk about pretty much anything to.)

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.