Snow is me

Dear local meteorologists,

For about a week you’ve hyped up this snow storm that had the potential to be the worst in some time around here.  Even as late as last night you bastards practically swore on a stack of bibles that this snow storm was going to shut it down!  You promised blizzards and snowfall of over a foot.  Schools closed, flights and buses canceled, businesses canceled shifts and closed, people raced to the stores to stock up on supplies and worried about all the snow related drama like power outages and etc.

I woke up this morning and we might have gotten 4.5 or 5 inches top and trust me I’m being generous giving that much.  I don’t understand why you assclowns get paid so much for being wrong 99.5% of the time.  All we’ve gotten from you is hype and hysteria.  Snowzilla?  Snowpacalypse?  Snowmageddon?  Snow My God?  How about Snownigga please?!  Instead of apologizing for being wrong and falsely worrying (or exciting) people with promises of doom and gloom and explaining/educating us to why you guys were so far off you guys either get mad at us for calling you on it or are now suddenly silent about it.  Really?!  You show us footage of light traffic on the highway and seem to forget the fact that it’s empty because you told all of us we’d have a foot and a half of fucking snow!  People are home because schools and businesses closed because they trusted your forecast.

I don’t care if some person somewhere in Michigan got 9 or 10 inches of snow.  Once you consider what was already down before the snow it’s probably drift and/or the same 4.5 or 5 inches everyone else got.  The fact of the matter is you guys dropped the ball.  You blundered.  You fucked up big time.  Why should any of us trust you in the future when you mess up so badly now and don’t even acknowledge it?  You can’t even get snowfall right so why should I believe you when the world ends in December of next year and you’re hyping raining locusts, frogs, and blood?  It’s getting to the point that if you tell me the sky is blue, water is wet, and fire is hot that I’m not going to believe you.

There’s obviously something about Michigan that makes snowfall hard to predict since even the good forecasters nationally thought we’d get a heavy snowfall.  Figure out what that is and fix your forecast models but until then how about laying off of the sensationalism, okay?  Thanks…for nothing!


Freaky Deaky

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.