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Wait, Mary Jane don’t go!
Yesterday, it seemed like everybody and their mama was knocking at my door. Seriously, it got annoying as hell and it must’ve shown on my face because as soon as I opened the door people started stammering. Maybe I need to work on not scowling at people. Honestly, it’s my default face so I don’t know how that’s going to work out. Anyway, the first person was a maintenance person for the complex. She was seriously about to get cussed out for coming by and wanting to get in without giving me 24 hour notice. Eventually, I figured out she was there just to give me the new keys to the front door. I say eventually, because English isn’t her first language so it took me a couple of tries to understand her. Wish they’d quit using cheap ass locks and hire people whose first language is English but that’s okay, in a few months I’m outta there! Probably about an half hour later I get another knock on the door. I look out the peephole and see a cute female so of course, I open the door. A cute smile and a phat ass will one day be my downfall. I just hope I get a good nut before I get got. Anyway, I open the door and she’s just standing there. I’m looking at her like okay who are you and why are you here. After a moment she says that she thinks she has the wrong apartment and turns to leave. She then stops, looks around and asks me, “Do you have any trees?” Wow! If someone was there to take a picture of the look on my face. I imagined it was a look of stunned disbelief, tinged with sadness, with a little lusty leering thrown in. What?! She was hot and the way those leggings clung to her thighs and ass… BOING!!! I don’t smoke anything and generally think drug dealers are scumbag bastards but I’ll be damned if I didn’t close my eyes and think, “Like a good neighbor State Farm is there… with a bag of weed and a bottle of roofies!” But alas, I have Geico so my pussy prayers went unanswered. Fuckers! She left and I’ve been kicking myself ever since for not trying to hit on her. I would kill a hooker on a pile of babies for some pussy!
I now also know that someone in the building is a dealer. Can’t wait to get the fuck out of here! I swear this place will let anyone in who can come up with first and last month’s rent plus security. The churn rate has gotten ridiculous lately. Based on some of the people they let in I’d say it’s slightly above transient housing. Okay, I’m being a bit facetious but…
Thinking about not having any weed for that yummy piece of ass makes me think about the time I was offered crack. I won’t get into too many details because, well, you’re not ready for that and quite honestly you don’t need to know. Anyways, it was late and I was chilling with a questionable chick when she pulls out a crack pipe and lights it up. She asked me if I wanted to hit the pipe and for a brief instant I actually considered doing it just because it’s something I would normally never even consider and I was curious if I was strong willed enough to do it once and not become addicted. Sanity prevailed that night.
Last night I was asked to be someone’s Valentine. I’m not sure if I’m more surprised by who asked or that I was asked period. One day I’m going to have a local Valentine and the night will end in her pink being covered in white. What?! Look up two paragraphs and re-read.
What are your weekend plans?
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smh @ that pic…
JE’s cool with one of the maintenance men in our complex. One day the guy told JE he was selling weed on the side and asked if he knew anyone who was interested. (-_-)…. JE doesn’t smoke, so I don’t know what that was about.
Sooo glad you didn’t take her up on that offer! One of my classes this semester is a social work class and one of the members used to work in a drug treatment facility. she said she believed that some people could take any drug and still have a full functioning life. I’d never heard anything like that, and I had to side eye that. I guess I’ve seen too many examples of people who spiral out of control.
I keep forgetting that it’s almost Superbowl Weekend. I’m not into football anyway, and as silly as it sounds, neither one of the names excites me. LOL! So…
That just may be the perfect position for it.
Lazy ass drug dealers! Unless I get some sort of referral money for suggesting customers I couldn’t do anything for him.
I’ve been told the same about people being able to fully function and not become addicted by people I generally consider to be pretty intelligent and whose opinion I trust. Either way, I think I’m too old to fuck around and get addicted to crack so nope. Besides, my drug of choice would be a hallucinogen and those definitely scare the hell out of me.
Forget?! *GASP* I figure I’ll watch all the bowl games and if I get bored I’ll flip over to the Toilet Bowl. Superbowl coverage begins at 6AM here. I like football but that’s too much!
That picture really made me laugh.
I hope no one in my building is selling drugs. I can’t even think past my building to the rest of my complex right now. I know the drunk that used to live in my bldg. & the crackhead looking woman that lived a few buldings away have moved. But I almost missed the drunk, because I never heard him or his wife downstairs. The people that live there now are loud & at hours that interrupt my sleep. Yelling from the bathroom & or snoring.
Methinks she’s been in that position a time or two. I think I might love her.
Moved or evicted? I don’t think a month goes by without seeing an eviction notice or some other type of legal notice on somebody’s door. Can’t wait to be out of here! Um are your walls that thin or does someone snore that loudly? Maybe I’d leave a a box of Breathe Rite strips or a map of the local sleep clinic on his/her door.
And to think that all I usually get at McDonalds is McNuggets.
Between that and scaring & molesting young children Ronald always has a smile on his face.
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