House Hunting Part 1

Got back last night from my house hunting trip.  *exhales*  I’m still tired.  I think I put almost 1700 miles on Pussy during that trip.  Pussy is what I call my truck, Big Red is the clean name I refer to her as sometimes.  The night before we left, my mom and I attended a fashion show my sister was involved in.  My sister designed some clothes that were modeled in the show for a fashion class she’s taking.  Her designs were some of the best and that’s not even because she’s my sister either.   Some of the models used in the show were rather unfortunate looking and should not do the whole pouty face, mean mugging thing.  No ma’am!  Anyway, after deciding against leaving for the trip directly after the show it was decided that we’d leave early in the morning.  By early, I mean before the ass crack of dawn.  I woke up a little before four am and we were on the road by about 4:30 am.  Not even going to lie, I wish I would’ve had a few hours more sleep at least.  I was too damned tired, though more sleep probably wouldn’t have helped.  My problem is that the trip is boring and I tend to be the driver.   I hate being bored.  Often times when I can’t alleviate my boredom in any other way I tend to go to sleep because you can’t be bored when you’re asleep.  Unfortunately, one also can’t be asleep and driving so for a few hours I was battling myself on several different fronts.  A lot of highways, especially outside of the major cities aren’t really well lit.  Tired + bored + dark + cold = a  bunch of different things tag-teaming my ass.  I have never been so happy to see the sun come up in my life.  Once the sun came up I got a little energy and woke up a bit.

Of course, everything was sunny when the sun came up.  About three and half hours into the trip I had a blowout on the Ohio Turnpike.  The ride wasn’t feeling right.  First I thought it might have just been the patch of road we were on because parts of it is rather rough.  However, even when the road was a bit smoother my SUV was still driving funny.  It didn’t quite feel like a flat because when you have a flat the ride is a lot rougher but something still wasn’t right.  I was in the left most lane and got over the right shoulder to inspect the tire.  It still wasn’t flat really, however, my driver’s side rear tire looked like Freddy Krueger ran his glove along the upper tread and shredded the fuck out of it!  The tire was smoking, parts of it appeared to be missing, and driving any further on it wasn’t even an option.  *sigh*  I told my mom what was going on and we decided to call roadside assistance.   In normal circumstances I could’ve changed the tire.  Hell, if I absolutely had to then I would’ve but I’m not trying to change a flat on the shoulder of the Ohio Turnpike.  Several vehicles had already come a little too close to us and I’ve seen too many stories of people getting hit while on the shoulder due to drivers not paying attention.  Nope, let roadside assistance handle it and take the risk.  It took about 90 minutes before the tow truck driver finally showed up.  Before that we were greeted by an Ohio State Trooper and the Ohio Department of Transportation.  Both very friendly and checked up on us but I’d rather have someone changing the tire then asking questions, you know?

The tow truck drive showed up looked at my license plate and said, “Oh man, Michigan?”  You see Ohio State & the University of Michigan have a very intense rivalry.  LOL.  Apparently the state trooper and the OH DOT called a different tow company, even though we told them our person was on the way.  The other driver showed up after our tow was about half way through with the job.  He looked disappointed and a little pissed but oh well.  Ours was free and who knows what the other guy would’ve charged.  The spare was a little low on air but the driver said it should get us to the next service area.  He couldn’t give us any air because of some policy/agreement/bullshit ass regulation between his company and the insurance company.  I’ll definitely be investing in a portable air compressor by this summer at the latest.  Outside of getting a flat one of the most stressful things is driving around hoping you can find a gas station or tire place to put some air in your tires.  Fortunately, the next service area wasn’t far away and after a few stumbles we figured out the correct tire pressure needed and off we went.  The tire didn’t look so hot as it’s been under my truck for six years but it got us to our destination fine.  I know, next time I’m definitely going to get an inspection before I leave.

Of course this wasn’t the only car related issue we had on the trip.  One of my wipers decided to wear out.  I usually change them twice a year or so and they had been replaced about two months ago.   I don’t know what’s up but those nasty fucking birds had a blast using my windshield for target practice.  The weird thing is that not once but twice on this trip the birds flew close enough to my windshield to almost hit it with their bodies.  If I wasn’t concerned about busting my windshield then I would’ve gladly hit those fuckers!  Every last one of those flying rat bastards deserve to die.

Ohio wasn’t all awful though, I did manage to finally get a shot glass from Ohio.  I always pass by the Football Hall of Fame and it’s always closed when I do.  I really need to make an effort to visit there and not just pass through.  The rest of the ride was generally uneventful.

With the rest stops and the tire fiasco we ended up making it about four hours later than planned. The hotel we stayed in was okay.  I kind of wish they had an indoor pool because the outdoor pool was open yet.  Seems like warm weather states should have pools opened year round or at the very least they should open earlier than they do up here.  Next time we definitely need to spring for a suite or get adjoining rooms or something.  I like being able to do my thing and you can’t really do that when you’re sharing a room with someone and their bed is a few feet away from yours.  The first thing I did was check for bed bugs.  I’ve been paranoid about them forever.  I didn’t see any so I was comfortable enough to use the bed.  The room did seem to have some weird odor, it smelled kind of musty/mildewy.  With some air freshener and the a/c on or the window open it was bearable.  Of course, my mother and I are pretty opposites in our environments.  She’s usually cold and I tend to run hot.  Furthermore given the choice I’d blast the a/c every chance I could and I like sleeping with a fan blowing on me.  So pretty much one of us was going to be uncomfortable at some point of time during the stay.  That’s one reason I don’t see myself getting married or living with a chick unless she’s part polar bear like myself it’s just not going to work.   She can’t complain too much though since she had the room to herself two of the seven nights we were there.  

Going in I knew nothing was happening Friday.  By the time we got there most of the leasing offices for places to look at would be closed.  Saturday we’d probably still be recovering from the trip and on Sunday most of the offices were closed anyway.  Saturday, I hung out.  It was pretty warm.  The funny thing is it’s not even the heat that bothers me so much.  I can tolerate it and eventually get used to it.  The humidity though, now that’s a bitch!  I suppose I’ll get used to it.  Just wonder when and how long it will take?  LOL.  First I went to a museum.  I was invited to see a Brazillian Jiu Jitsu competition.  It was running late and the person we came to see hadn’t fought yet but because we had dinner plans afterward we had to leave before his fight.  I was sweating like George Zimmerman at Black Panther Party rally.  After that day it was a lot cooler for most of the remainder of my stay.  In fact it was cold and rainy and besides being a little warmer it reminded me of the weather in Detroit.  I’m surprised I wasn’t blamed for bringing the cold front with me as I’ve told several people that I will be bringing snow with me so they need to get used to it.  Saturday night I had several shots of Tequila and my no-no spots viciously violated.   Not much of anything happened on Sunday.  


Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.