House Hunting Part 2

Monday started off the actual search for a place to live.  Over the next several days we looked at about a dozen and a half places.  After awhile the places just started blending together.  I honestly couldn’t distinguish between a lot of the places.  I really wasn’t keen on looking at apartments even though I knew it was a possibility.  I’m just burned out on people living above me.  I’ve had some dumbasses and straight assholes living above me and the one thing I insisted on was no one above me.  On previous visits I’ve notice that a lot of apartments there tend to be low rises with three floors.  I also found out that these building don’t tend to have elevators.   During the move, that shouldn’t affect me to much though I feel kind of sorry for the movers.  Hey, I’m not doing that shit.  Just don’t have it in me now to lug all that shit up three flights of stairs, into the apartment, and have to set everything up when it’s over.  Nope!

Several places I couldn’t even find on my GPS.  Apparently, my GPS doesn’t like street names in apartment/townhouses/rental communities.  I have to search for them a little differently, basically, I have to do it by zip code first instead of just entering the address outright.  Maybe it’s a TomTom thing because I never had that problem with my Garmin.  One thing that really bothers me is that these places tend to have tons of pictures of the club house and either none or a couple of the actual place you’re looking to rent.  Seriously?  I’m not living in the clubhouse and I doubt I’ll be hanging there everyday so why do this?  Another issue we encountered a lot was people not having a model or similar apartment to look at.  While I do have a pretty good imagination when it comes to visualizing chicks naked or in their underwear it doesn’t quite translate to living spaces.  I need something to wrap my mind around.

I checked out one place that had a nice floor plan.  The clubhouse was also very nice looking.  The guy who saw us though, he just seemed insincere, smarmy, and kind of a con.  They had bullshit fees for pretty much anything.  I’m surprised we didn’t get charged just for the privilege of him talking to us.  You can tell it’s a bullshit fee when they can’t explain what the fee is actually about.  While he was stammering and trying to confuse us with verbosity I remembered some of the charges we added on when I prepared taxes.  I really had to stop myself from screaming bullshit!  I had to do that a few times during my search.  It was a waste of time.  He didn’t have any places ready to show, wasn’t sure he’d have any by the time I need to move, and he was still trying to hustle and get us to apply.  I could’ve been in and out in less than five minutes but my mom’s friendly ass kept chatting with him.  I will give them points for actually having some pictures of their apartments.  Unfortunately, they were laughably poor pictures.  They would’ve benefited from better lighting, hell any lighting.  Turn on the light or use a flash!  Considering it was the most expensive place the lack of pictures, preparedness, and the amount of fees made me glad it wasn’t chosen.  I could only imagine how much they’d nickel and dime your ass when you tried to move.  No thanks!

The next place was so-so.  The curb appeal at the unit was not so hot.  The front door looked beat up and across the hall was a bunch of toys and bikes indicative of roaming snot noses.  The inside was nice but the rooms were rather small considering the square foot.  Another thing that bothered me was the bedrooms not having light fixtures on the ceilings.  If you want lights in the room then you need to buy lamps.  Really?  There wasn’t light fixtures, a junction box, or even a place on the ceiling to put a light bulb in.  The funny thing is that the wall had switches and for the life of me I couldn’t tell what the hell they were supposed to turn on.  I don’t remember there being lights in the closet so the whole set up was kind of odd to me.  It was nice that they don’t have a problem with me painting and mounting my TV but I kind of want a ceiling fan and I like having overhead lights.

Since living here people have had so many problems finding me I’ve never really been concerned about people having my address and dropping by without calling.  Chances are they’d get lost anyway even if I gave them directions.  Some of the places we visited were labyrinths compared to here.  Even with GPS finding some of those townhouses were a challenge.  We looked at one community that was beautiful.  It has a lake, a golf course, and green as far as the eye can see coming in.  The townhouse we looked at was the last one of the size.  It’s going to take a minute to adjust to the fact that since the house is built up rather than out that the floors will be smaller.  It was a nice looking place, they were working on it to get it ready for the next tenants.  Didn’t really like the bathroom vanity.  There’s no medicine cabinet and not as much storage as I have here.  Another turn off was the lack of scenery in the immediate area and yard.  To the front it’s pretty much townhouse on townhouse on townhouse forever.  Well, it’s a hilly area so they’ll disappear for a bit and then you can see more.  The backyard had more space but there wasn’t much of a view unless you count the dog tied to a tree several houses down.  The rooms were an okay size as well.  The refrigerator smelled and there was a dead wasp on the window frame in one of the bedrooms.  I think what really put the nail in coffin for me was that it seemed so cookie cutter and remote.  I’d shoot myself in the eyes just so I wouldn’t be expected to give anyone directions to my place.  LOL.  I kid but I’m so serious.  

We actually stumbled on my favorite place by accident.  We were leaving from the previous place when my mom started chatting with another woman who was leaving and told us about the place she was about to move from.  She was moving because she just bought a house but raved about the community.  My mom asked her where it was and she offered to take us there.  Okay sometimes her friendliness isn’t always so bad.  We follow the lady to her place (well, the leasing office of her place) and have a look.  The manager begins talking about the activities the community and I’m liking what I’m hearing.  She didn’t have a unit to show exactly like the one we wanted but she showed us something kind of similar and explained the differences in what she was showing and the one we wanted.  After the tour I was hooked.  This was definitely making it to the short list.  I actually saw the unit that would be available if I wanted it.  It doesn’t have much of a view but I really do like the community aspect.  I’m not a very outgoing person but if enough interesting things occur I’ll show up, hopefully meet a few people, and maybe make a couple of friends.  It has to be easier there than it is here.

We went to see a house.  Now I’m not sure why we even bothered other than curiosity since the place was too small.  I really should’ve taken pictures of this place to show everyone.  It was a hot ass mess.  The place was a duplex of sorts on a funky looking lot.  It was raining and the yard was a muddy mess.  The stairs leading to the door was rotting, cobwebs could be seen in the windows from the outside, and the places was just disgusting to be honest.  It looked like a slum property.  The lady showing the place had a snotty look on her face and rubbed me the wrong way.  These people hadn’t even start working on the place yet.  It smelled funny, it looked dark, foreboding, and unloved.  If the place was offered for half of what they were asking then it might have had some potential and be worth the effort to see past all the grime and yuckiness but it wasn’t so it wasn’t.  If you told me someone was murdered in that house I wouldn’t be surprised.  It was just gloomy and depressing.  I feel sorry for whoever has to take that house.

We saw a townhouse managed by the same company that showed us the slum duplex.  The townhouse looked awesome on the outside.  The location seemed nice too.  The pool was across the street from the townhouse we looked at which was definitely a plus in my book.  It didn’t knock my socks off but my mom really liked the place.  Something we both agreed to dislike was the wallpaper downstairs and the wallpaper boarder in one of the bedrooms.  It was faded, ugly, and just not our style.  We had the same snotty looking/acting bitch from the slummy duplex show us this place.  Dealing with her and her company had already turned me off.   What really annoyed me was that they weren’t even willing to remove the wallpaper.  She said that she didn’t think the company would have a problem with us removing it.  I bet they wouldn’t but it’s not our job to remove that tacky ass wallpaper for you and then we’d have to paint on top of that.  These people just don’t seem to have an eye on detail to me.  There was a child’s dirty sock in the linen closet, the toilets needed to be scrubbed really good, and their was a huge red stain on the carpets in one of the bedrooms.  She said they would lay new carpet throughout.  Ignoring how that chick rubbed me the wrong way, the place did seem nice and made it to the short list.  


Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.