Hotter than dragon pussy!

So for the next several days at least we’re expecting temperatures in the 100°+ range and possibly record breaking temperatures.  As I’m writing this it’s 104° with a heat index of 111°.  I don’t even want the sun to get a look at me and every time I even think about going outside I imagine hearing sizzling sounds and being chased around by a giant spatula.  It’s either that or trying to run out to my SUV before the overseer’s horse can catch me and I’m dragged off to pick somebody’s tobacco.  I would’ve made a piss poor slave.  I hate the outdoors, don’t like getting my hands dirty or manual labor for the matter, am a smart ass, have problems with authority, and would try to give massa’s wife and daughters liquid Freaky injections every chance I got.  Needless to say slavery wouldn’t end well for me.  LOL.  

Right now, this Popsicle is the bomb.com!  Nope, you need to go get your own because I’m not sharing mine.  No ma’am!  I think I’ll have another and another and a sister and a brother, I hope this Popsicle isn’t a DT undercover.  LOL!

The meeting new people/online dating thing is kind of meh.  I think I may have found someone that could be a friend the platonic kind, which is ironic because that isn’t at all what I’m really looking for.  I suppose I need to make some sooner or later but friendships with women devoid of any aspect of sexuality or potential for sexuality is kind of like hanging out with your grandmother and her even older friends.  I suppose I could and should look at it as expanding my circle of potential pussy.  Surely she has friends and relatives that might be willing to let me squirt in their hot pockets.  I actually got a completely random and unsolicited offer for a blow & go a couple of nights ago.  I just got a weird vibe about her so I passed.  I love head, sometimes even more than pussy.  If she had offered that then I might’ve been stupid enough to let my dick lead me into danger but since she didn’t… *shrug*  I want some pussy first than if anything’s left she can get a throat coat, pearl necklace, or a facial.

I keep getting messages from chicks I’m not interested in.  How many times do I have to ignore you before you get the hint?   You live too far away and you look like you can probably beat my ass.  While I’m sure there are woman who can actually do just that I’d prefer for them not to look like they can.  Though I’d let Serena Williams or a gang of chicks on the U.S. Olympic track & field team choke me the fuck out with their thighs anytime of the day or night all while they screamed, “Night night bitch!”  Don’t judge me, that’s fucking hot!

I’ve been feeling some kind of way lately.  On the physical front, it seems like hiccups have been making me their bitch!  They were bothering me really bad for about three days.  I know people are trying to help but sometimes I just want to shake them and scream, “Silly bitch don’t you think I’ve already thought about or tried that!”  Guzzling down water quickly didn’t do a damn thing.  Holding my breath seemed to help at first but stopped working after about a day.  Scaring me well, movies don’t do it and you’re going to be hard pressed to scare me unless you do it yourself and knowing that you’re trying to scare me will only make your efforts that much more difficult.  Finally, my mom got me a spoon and some honey.   It took two spoonfuls to notice a significant difference but outside of a quick hiccup or two here and there the severity and intensity has receded.  Seriously my chest was in pain and it was effecting my sleeping.  Apparently I’ve had episodes of prolonged hiccups when I was younger.  Can’t say I remember it but I won’t call her a liar either.  Now if I can get rid of this heartburn.  Yeah, heartburn and hiccups at the same time is a tag-team I never want to fight again.  Now if I just had a chick with big, cold arms to cuddle with right now.  Well, until I drained the cold away then she can get the hell on.

On the mental front, I just haven’t been feeling special, important, or sexy.  I can’t even remember the last time I had a good, quality cake session.  I miss Team Freaky.  I need to rebuild a new roster preferably one with single, attentive chicks.  Team Freaky Cake Squad assemble!

I talked to D. a couple of weeks ago.  It felt like old times.  He told me away how to scam naked pics out of chicks.  I might actually use that technique.  Nope, I’m not going to share that either, though it’s pretty simple.  

My sister is coming to visit next week and she’s bringing one of her friends with her.  

I got my NC driver’s license.  That was probably the slowest DMV I’ve ever had the misfortune of being in.  Well, hopefully, I’ll find a bigger, faster one closer to wherever I move to next year.  I have to go back to get NC plates next month and then hopefully I’m done with them until next year.  I’m not accustomed to jumping through so many hoops without a gold star, cookie, or atta boy!  Fortunately, the eye candy was pretty good that day.  

I also found a credit union to join.  Just waiting for my checks and my debit card.  My mom mentioned that I seem to be getting rid of everything from Michigan i.e. my phone number, bank account, etc.  I told her that I’m not really attached to anything there anymore and that I haven’t been for some time.  Out with the old and in with the new.  I am thinking of  getting a tattoo or something that relates to Detroit.   I have to think of what and price it out.  Maybe it’ll be my birthday present.  I still need to choose something for my vanity plates and find a couple of doctors, which considering where I am is proving to be a little complicated.

What’s the temperature where you’re at?  Shout it out in the comments.  One last thing!  Comment!  I see people browsing a bunch of pages and not saying shit ever.  We all complain about the decline in blogging and disappearance of favorite bloggers but when people actually post it’s these same people sitting there mute.  You are the problem!  Seriously let everyone do the same non-interaction shit they do with blogs on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever social network you prefer and see how boring it becomes and how quickly everyone flees.  Don’t exacerbate the problem become part of the solution, well, either that or stay the fuck away from me.  I’m so serious.  

Enjoy the weekend.  If you spend it in your panties, a bikini, or booty shorts then feel free to send me some pictures.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.