Let me see your thong while playing volleyball

Seems like whenever I talk to anyone lately I’m always asked how do I like North Carolina?   I like it.  I could do without all the 90°+ days and the humidity can suck sweaty monkey balls but even if I was back in Detroit it would still be hotter than the back of an Ifrit’s throat.  I’m sure I will love it more once I make some friends but honestly I’m not really trying to socialize when I’m sweating like a runaway slave at a Klan convention in the 1700s.  No sir, that’s not a good look or very fun.  Check back with me in the fall.  LOL.

People are always interested in the differences so I guess I can get into some that I’ve noticed.  The people here are friendlier than in Michigan.  People hold open doors, say thank you, sir, ma’am, etc.  I still can’t quite discern a North Carolinian accent from most other Southern accents yet.  It’s charming but I hope I don’t pick it up.    The state sales tax is higher, they also apply it to things we don’t in Michigan.  Food is a little more expensive but gas is cheaper.   There’s a better selection of grocery stores and stores in general.  Roaches fly here, while I’d assume they’re perfectly capable of flying up North since they still have wings, thankfully it’s something I’ve only seen happen once in Michigan.  North Carolina’s DMV are much, much slower and their red lights last for an eternity compared to Michigan.  Movie theaters are more expensive.  Getting liquor can be a bit of a chore here.  In Michigan you can pretty much go to any party store, liquor store, or drug store and buy a selection of spirits to get your drunk on.  Here, not so much.  You can easily get a hold of beer and wine but if you want rum, vodka, or anything of the sort then you have to go to an ABC (alcohol control bureau) store which seems to run on little old lady hours.  I definitely need to hit them up sooner or later.  I want to drink more.

There are a shitload of bugs here.  Part of that is because I live near a wooded area and a river.  Since I’ve been here I’ve seen bunnies, lizards, and a baby frog (it wasn’t a tadpole but a tiny frog).  Anyone know of a light bulb that doesn’t attract bugs?  I came back from visiting a friend last week and the porch light was on.  There were so many moths and other shit I couldn’t identify fluttering around the porch light and on the door I had to spend a few minutes swatting them away before I even dared open the front door.  I wasn’t trying to let those ugly bastards get in.  One did though and he/she/it was immediately met with the true death.   I’ve been hearing varying opinions on the effectiveness of bug lights and various colored light bulbs.

The water in my townhouse tastes funny.  As you probably know my eating habits are a bit finicky and even odd.  For instance, I generally hate the taste of bottled water.  It tastes like plastic to me.  I also don’t really care for water in glasses or cups either.  I like it straight from the tap.  Water at Val’s is okay.  Here, it just tastes odd.  Especially, the ice cubes from the ice maker which uses the same water I get from the tap.  It’s a bit better since I had a filter installed on the ice maker but honestly, the quality of the cubes have gone from absolutely disgusting to ugh.

There’s a Cinnabon within 15 minutes of me.  Funny thing is I still haven’t made it out to get one yet.  A Cinnabon gift card would be a great birthday present and you still have a little over two months to get it.  *hint, hint*  What?!  A closed mouth doesn’t get stuffed full of ooey gooey Cinnabon-y goodness.  Though if anyone asks me what I truly want for my birthday or Christmas that would make me squeal like a Justin Bieber fan it would be a puppy.

My sister and her hot friend are visiting for a few days.  Didn’t realize how I private I am when my sister thought that Val and I were still together.  We’ve been broken up for awhile and I guess I had just assumed my mom blabbed about it back then.  Apparently, she didn’t.  *shrugs*  I told my sister that I banned our mother from Facebook and Twitter.  I don’t think the 140 character limit and her would mix so I’m not really worried about her tweeting.  I may let her on Facebook though.  Don’t really like the thought of sharing her with random people on the Internet though.  I don’t really like the thought of sharing her with people that I actually know either.  We’ll see, I think at best she’s just merely curious about it.   I feel kind of funny that she texts my ex.  It’s not too frequent and I guess it’s always good for her to have someone local she can contact if she can’t get a hold of me.  So I’m not as bothered as I thought I was.

I hate how NBC covers the Olympics.  The talking heads that interview the Olympians during prime time annoy the hell out of me.  I also hate how they tape delay the good stuff for prime time instead of just letting us see it as it happens live.  Once I know the results of a game or match I have little to no interest in watching it no matter how good it may have been.  That’s why I don’t tape games.   Part of it may be due to the time difference but most of it is because of NBC trying to manipulate and maximize ratings.   If you really want to maximize ratings how about scheduling a day of women’s beach volleyball and women’s track & field.

Since we have lingerie football and topless basketball I think someone needs to create and air a Brazilian Thong Volleyball League.  That’s money and nobody can tell me that’s not hot!

What’s with all the lurkers?  There was a time that I stopped banning people and the lurking slowed down or stopped and now it seems like every time I look at my stats some asshole lurker is reading a couple of dozen posts and isn’t smart enough to figure out that I hate fucking lurkers.  I wish I could do more than ban them like go back in time and make their mothers swallow.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.