Adventures in face sitting

 

I got a text yesterday asking if I wanted some company.  I’ve been feeling some kind of way lately. I wouldn’t quite call it depressed.  I guess melancholy might be the word/feeling I’m looking for.  I could’ve taken it or left it but I figured why not?  I wasn’t doing anything anyway and there’s a more likely than not chance that my dick would end up getting wet before the end of the night.  What?!  A wet dick can be a decisive tie breaker and great motivator for me in many scenarios.  I’ve actually canceled plans or told chicks to stay home when I’ve known the orifice of my desire wasn’t available for service.  Don’t judge me.

Something interesting seems to happen more often than not whenever I’m down to have my face sat on.   Don’t believe me?  Well, this is what happened last time I blogged (<— hyperlink isn’t showing as a different color) about it.  (Enjoy before I password protect it again.)  So anyway, since then I’ve found a few stimulating sites and videos that feature more extreme versions of face sitting.  I shared the links with a friend and sometimes I almost feel weird about some of the things that turn me on based on other people’s reactions.  *shrug*  That’s why even I keep some of my turn-ons to myself.  Sometimes you don’t want to explain, justify, or employ disclaimers for what makes you stiff and deliriously horny.  Sometimes you just want to wave your freak flag and get your nut however it cums comes.  Though given my predilection for ass why it would surprise anyone who knows me on that level is beyond me.

This time things started off well.  The mood had been established.  The foreplay was very fun.  I positioned myself on the center of my bed and was putting my arms up to brace her ass and ensure a smooth transition.  Easy peasy fresh and breezy, right?  Yeah, and I have some mountain view property for sale in Detroit.  She told me no and smacked my hands out of the way.  Not only that but she placed my arms to my side and told me to keep them there.  I did as instructed.  She’s standing on my bed, getting in position to straddle me, and she begins her descent towards my face.  

MC:  Splashdown in 3…2…1!  Successful landing on Freaky’s face!  Hooray!

Me:  Uhm Houston, we have a problem!  I repeat, Houston, we have a problem!

Everything was going good for the first few seconds.  Then she…well, she kind of slid off of my head.  Her pussy slid up my lip, nose, left eye (which I narrowly closed in time), and off of my forehead.  She did manage to avoid hitting the wall.  That would’ve be embarrassing.  Oh it would’ve been laugh out loud hilarious to me but embarrassing for her.  Kind of glad the neighbors aren’t there anymore.  So I’m trying not to laugh which is easier than expected since I’m busy wiping pussy juice from my eyelid and the general vicinity.  

MC:  Splashdown attempt #1 wasn’t successful.

Me:  My eye, my eye!  I’m going to become a cyclops if you don’t send me a medic.  Aaaargh you scurvy landlubbers I’m turning into a pirate!

The second attempt was better.  I ended up washing my face because my eye was bothering me.  I told her if I ended up with pink eye it was totally her fault.  I should’ve told her if I end up with pink eye I’m going to skeet in her eye so we’re even.  I didn’t but I thought it for a second.  I told her next time I’m going to invest in a pair of goggles.  Of course, I later remembered that I actually do have a pair of swim goggles.  Next time I’m going to use them.  I’ll be damned if I lose an eye because of some pussy related freak accident that could’ve been avoided.  

P.S.:  On a related and better note, I played Candy Crush Saga after I donated some vitamin D and finally beat level 65.  I had been stuck on that godawful level for longer than I want to admit.  Who knew I just needed some pussy to clear my mind so I could beat it?  Makes we wonder do Alzheimer’s patients know about pussy?  It really does wonders for the mind.  Seriously somebody needs to bottle up pussy and sell it on the commodities market.  

P.P.S.:  Who knew there was so much My Little Pony porn out there?  Not I, until I searched for an image to go along with this blog.  Bronies are some nasty motherfuckers!

P.P.P.S.:  Really HBO I’m not happy about having to wait another week to see the penultimate episode of Game of Throne’s season 3 finale.  Your little Liberace movie couldn’t wait two weeks?  I call bullshit!

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.