Bitches on their backs

Will someone please tell me why I have to look at this every.single.day?  She’s only started sleeping on her back somewhat recently too.  Looking at her face it’s kind of cute because her lips hang down and you can’t see one of her canine’s peeking out.  The way she has her upper legs positioned I always want to say “How you doin’?” like Wendy Williams.  I just don’t understand why she feels the need to aim her cooch in my line of sight.  Sometimes I’ll rub her and tell her, “I don’t want to see all of that.”  She doesn’t listen to me.   I’ll give her credit for understanding the rules of laying on my bed but it only applies to humans.  

LookAtIt

 

So I took her to the vet recently and got some sucky news.  Turns out she’s heartworm positive.  They’re talking ≈$800 – $1000 to treat her and like human doctors they don’t use words like guaranteed cured.  She gave another option that is cheaper but will take longer (if it works).  Part of me is pissed that I was sold a dog that was HW+ but the floppy eared, golden eyes dog has grown on me.  I love her.  *sigh*  I’m looking into alternatives, someone suggested I call NCSU’s veterinary school.  I’ll look into it.  I had a sense of deja vu when I walked up to the vet office and it wasn’t necessarily a good one.  I think I had a dream about going there before and leaving really sad.  I don’t quite remember why.  I also remembered the name of a dog on their visiting/patients board so I’m thinking it may be a precognitive dream.  Haven’t had any of those in awhile.

I used to dream about people, places, and conversations months or years before actually meeting them, being there, or having the conversation.  It’s kind of freaky when I actually experience what happened in my dream.  I just wish I could dream of some lottery numbers or something I can bet on.

I definitely need to get her microchipped and I’m leaning towards the doggy DNA test.

I deleted my dating profile from the site I was using.  As much shit as I hear from women about some of the guys on these sites please don’t believe that short bus doesn’t have a significant amount of female passengers as well.  Let’s see there were obvious whores looking to slang the strange for some change, thirsty chicks, geographically undesirables (usually the hottest ones too), and chicks with too many kids.  I understand not wanting to give strangers online info about your kids but when I ask you how many kids you have and you keep trying to deflect and evade (the simple stuff that you have to tell me and I’m going to find out anyway) then my Spidey sense screams run!  Silly rabbit, I know your tricks because I’m the master of deflection & evasion.   I kind of wish I had a stalker like so many women on these sites claim to.  I found most of the women I chatted with dry and boring.  I’m just glad none of them managed to trap me on the phone or out in public.  I hate those awkward moments.

 So it actually got cold enough here for me to not want to linger in it for too long.  Of course the dog’s bladder and bowels don’t seem to take the weather or temperature into consideration.  They sure as hell don’t take my need and desire for eight hours of sleep or my health into consideration.  I think I’m coming down with something but I couldn’t tell you what.  Hope it’s not the flu saying fuck you very much for not getting a flu shot.  It would really be nice if I could breath out of my nose though.  I miss that.  Though I’m not sure if that’s due to illness, sinuses, allergies, or some evil amalgamation of  cooties.  Damn you!

I downloaded an app on a whim called Relax Melodies.  It’s one of those sleep aids that lulls you to nite nite with sounds like rain, chanting, white noise etc.  I’ve used it a few times.  Twice it seemed to do okay.  The last time it was kind of a distraction but overall I think I like it.  I just need to experiment and tweak with the mix of sounds to find something that’s both relaxing and non distracting.  I’m not sure how some of those sounds qualify as either but to each his own I suppose.  

I went to a Patti Labelle concert yesterday.  I had a blast.  Our seats were great and Patti was hilarious name dropping people and mentioning that she did the song first.  She seemed to be having issues with her wig and had to take care of it several times.  I think something else might have been up with her but I don’t know.  We had a big storm that day and the show started late because of it.  I thought it might get canceled because of the winds.  The weather people were hyping funnel clouds and possible tornadoes but turns out it was really strong straight line winds.  We had record breaking wind gusts that reached a high of 86 m.p.h.  Apparently Patti’s band only got to the venue about 20 minutes before they went on. I didn’t check the time once and stayed off of my phone outside of intermission.  

I thought I was going to die when leaving.  I had to go to the bathroom so bad I could’ve flooded someone’s street.  Between that and a slight case of blue balls I was fairly uncomfortable.  Now I remember how toddler’s feel when they’re shuffling around doing their pee-pee dance.  I was waiting for Val to bring the car around but she was stuck in the parking garage.  The venue actually locked the damn doors and I wanted to cry.  Well actually I wanted to piss on the doors but right across the street was a county detention center of all things and I didn’t want to risk it.  By the time I finally got home I wanted to sing, cry, and Michael Jackson scream.  

I lost some weight.  For some reason I decided to try on some slacks that weren’t even trying to fit me last time I tried them on, a couple of months ago.  Last time they almost fit but this time they fit comfortably.  Woohoo!  Yay me!  Maybe it’s from walking that damn dog all over creation.  

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.