Random rumblings

I’ve been feeling kind of meh lately.  Something is going on with me but I have no idea what.  I guess I’ll make a doctor’s appointment one of these days…maybe.  I hate doctors but whatever is going on needs to stop.  Thought it might be a cold then maybe a sinus or upper respiratory infection and now I just don’t know.  I also managed to hurt my foot some how.  I just stepped out of bed and as soon as I put some weight on it I winced.  I’m thinking I might have strained my Achilles tendon somehow.  It’s still a little sore but at least I can walk without limping now.

My mom ordered some Honeybell oranges (technically a tangerine/grapefruit hybrid) recently and damn they are delicious.  Got them in the mail and they actually come with bibs because they’re so juicy.  I mean ridiculously juicy.  I raped one with my mouth during the Super Bowl and apparently I made some interesting faces or sounds while slurping up all that sweet juiciness.  It got to the point that Val asked me if I needed a warm washcloth.  First, I told her to quit hating then I said that eating these oranges are the same as eating pussy, if your face isn’t a sticky mess then you’re not doing it right.  Those Honeybells are the absolute truth!  I like my oranges refrigerated and my mom always thought that was kind of strange but I was vindicated when she did it my way and told me that they taste even better chilled.  I know what I’m talking about!  LOL.  Those oranges would’ve been perfect if they were seedless as advertised but even with the seeds they’re probably the best oranges I’ve ever had.  Didn’t know dogs like them but my greedy as hound girl seems to.  Then again she likes everything given to her with the only exception so far being pickles.  Cinnamon don’t do pickles!

It actually snowed here about two weeks ago.  We got about five inches of the fluffy white stuff.  I honestly had my doubts based on the last time they forecast snow.  The only thing I didn’t like about it is that school was closed for about a week first because of the snow, then ice.  I also didn’t appreciate the little snot nosed bastard neighborhood kids traipsing all through my fresh fallen snow before I got a chance to enjoy and take pictures of it.  The older I get the more I fucking hate kids, their lack of manners and boundaries, and their nowhere to be seen parents.  Sometimes I wish I child molester would move into the neighborhood so parents would either keep their kids inside or move them the hell away from me.  Yeah, it’s mean but you know what?  I gives zero fucks!

I won’t lie though part of me wishes I had a sled.  The whole area is somewhat hilly so I’m certain I could find some decent sledding without too much trouble.  I’ll have to put that on my things to get just in case we have decent snow or ice list.  I also need to put rock salt and a shovel on that list too.  Apparently the shovel didn’t make the trip from Michigan and the complex never got around to icing the sidewalk or shoveling snow around here.  We could be in for some snow Tuesday but this shouldn’t be anything major.  If there’s even a chance of accumulation the local news will preempt programming and hype the hell out of it.  Seriously, they did it for most of the week when it snowed.  Most of the snow was gone within two days and the ice wasn’t really that serious.  Well, it shouldn’t have been that serious except the local government seemed really slow and ill-prepared to handle clearing the streets of snow and ice.  I understand traditionally the South doesn’t get a lot of what I consider traditional winter weather but the climate is changing and they need to get prepared.  Cinnamon had a blast running in the snow and eating it.  I don’t think she was very fond of the snowballs I attempted to throw at her.  The snow didn’t make for good snow balls anyway.

Speaking of Cinnamon, I think that dog has some moderate separation anxiety when it comes to me.  I went out to lunch and to run some errands with Val for about an hour and when I got home you’d think I just returned from a year long tour of duty somewhere.  It’s a combination of sad, cute, and kind of awkwardly disturbing.  Cinnamon seems to go into chaperon mode whenever I have company especially when that company is in my bedroom.  She acts like it’s her bedroom or something.

I won a bag of Cookie Dough Oreo cookies before they were available in stores from a sweepstakes on Twitter.  They’re pretty good.  About 2/3 of the bag is gone so I have my doubts that they will survive the weekend.  In fact if they’re not gone before I suspect they’ll be gone by the time the winter premiere of The Walking Dead is over tonight.  Now I just have to get my hands on the Marshmallow Crispy Oreos.  I’m kind of curious about the Lemon Oreos and the Peppermint Oreos as well.  Maybe I’ll pick up a bag of each.

The word/phrase “thot” kind of irks me.  It sounds stupid for starters.  It also isn’t very practical.  That hoe over there is kind of a clunky way to identify someone.  It also has a longer letter count than hoe or “ho” (if you insist on spelling it wrong).  How many times do you see a gaggle or flock of hoes and have trouble indicating which hoe you’re trying to single out?  Unless the hoes are some distance apart or there’s an abnormally high number of them it’s easier to specify by saying “the hoe with the tore up feet”, “the hoe with the cherry Kool-Aid ponytail weave” or the light skinned hoe” instead of that hoe over there.  I mean it was good enough for us back in the day.  Why are kids making shit more complicated then it needs to be?  While we’re at it what exactly does one call a group of hoes?

I also hate hearing grown people say shit like “turnt up”.  Whenever I hear somebody say it I just want to activate goon mode, run up on them, and smash them in the fucking face with an expensive bottle of something they probably can’t pronounce.

You know what else irks me?  Those assholes that record fights on their phones and constantly scream, “Worldstar!”  First off, film that shit in landscape mode, not portrait mode you extra chromosome having fucktard!  It’s easier to watch and you shouldn’t have to pan as much, not that you clowns even think to do so.  Just once I want to see that person get knocked the fuck out by someone he’s filming, then have the person pick up the phone, and say something like “Worldstar that motherfucker!”

Never played Flappy Bird.  Wasn’t even remotely interested even before the developer pulled it from the market.

Sex is not an acceptable present especially for Valentine’s or Sweetest Day.  Now maybe if you can convince your cousin, little sister, or best friend to get in on a threesome and let me super soak her womb too then you may be onto something but otherwise kindly get the fuck out of here and have a seat!  If we’ve ever fucked before then presenting me with something I’ve already had as if it is brand new is regifting and that’s just cheap and messy.  *smirk*

Seems like 90% of the winter Olympics is some combination of gay, boring, or weird.  When does the curling and women’s bobsledding begin?

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.