Forever lonely

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms reading.  If you’re still waiting to be a mother I’m available for stud services anytime.  What?!  Don’t judge me! I’m just a squirrel trying to bust some nuts.

So what’s been going on?  Sadly not a whole lot.  I went to see Katt Williams last month.  He didn’t appear to be on crack or intoxicated.  The first half of his routine was pretty good.  The last half hour or 40 minutes kind of dragged and then fell apart when it started getting preachy and felt like a sermon.  Judging by some of his comments he’s never spoken to an actual atheist before.  Dare I say I thought his opening acts were funnier.  Saw a lot of chicks trying to and mostly pulling off looking hot but couldn’t walk in high heels to save their lives.  I honestly don’t get the point of them for practical purposes.  In the bedroom I get it but to purposely dress in a way to limit your mobility and be uncomfortable, well, I think that’s stupid as fuck!

The dog is okay.  She still has separation anxiety when I leave her.  One apparent side effect of that is increased shedding.  The shedding is probably the one thing I dislike most about dogs.  I don’t think I’m allergic to the hair but it annoys me having it on my clothes, in my bed, etc. Hell I’ve had her hair in my mouth before and I’m still wondering how that happened.  I’m taking her to get groomed in a couple of weeks so they can wrestle her ass while trying to bath her and brush her coat until their arms get numb.  Have fun taking care of her anal glands!

So about a week and half ago I’m woken up by Cinnamon barking.  Someone is knocking on the door.  I’m already annoyed because 1) I hate when people wake me before I do so naturally and 2) unannounced visitors usually want to talk to me about or sell me some bullshit I’m not even remotely interested in. I throw some clothes on and go downstairs to open the door and see a little boy.  I’m looking around for his parents, caretaker, and adult of some order but no one is there but this little boy.  He asks me if he can play with the little boy that lives here.  Problem is there is no little boy that lives here.  I tell him that and he asks me if I’m sure.  Um yeah, I’m pretty sure.  If there’s a little boy here he’s either a burglar or a ghost.  This little boy proceeds to spend the next few minutes asking about this non-existent boy.  I usually see the boy walking around or riding his bike up and down the sidewalk or in the street, by himself, when I take the dog out in the morning.  I think I’ve seen him with an adult twice.  If  and when he turns up missing one day I won’t be surprised and I’ll be the first one on TV throwing shade and dirt at his parents.  With that said I’m not trying to play with an unsupervised, unaccompanied little, White toddler boy.  If he comes up missing I’m not trying to be a “person of interest”.  This is the South and I’m not trying to be the next wrongfully convicted Black man facing the death penalty.  Nope!

Anyway, after assuring the kid that there isn’t any kids here this little boy had the gumption to ask if he could play with my dog.  Um no, you can’t play with my dog.  Conversation over right?  Of course not!  He then asks me why not?  Seriously?!  Because I don’t want you to!  No I didn’t say that but it was on the tip of my tongue desperately trying to get out of my mouth.  I told him she’s busy right now and we had other plans. He left and went back down the street to play by himself.  I’d like the record to show that I didn’t glare at him, slam the door in his face, or use any profanity.  For that I think I deserve a gold star, a cookie, some pussy, and a donation to the Freaky Deaky fund (it’s in the sidebar), not necessarily in that order either.  A couple of times since then when he’s seen me out, Lonely Boy (that’s what I’ve named him) asks me about the boy that lives here.  *sigh*

He found a little boy next door to play with yesterday.  I’m not sure if his playmate lives there or just comes to visit but Lonely Boy asked if he could pet Cinnamon on my way back from the dog park.  I let him play with her for a couple of minutes.  That’s my good deed for spring now scram!  The itching has finally stopped.

That’s about all in my neck of the woods, what’s going on with you? 

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.