Life’s a beach

I had a mini vacation at the beach a couple of weeks ago.  For the most part I had a blast.  The drive there was kind of meh.  The directions the GPS gave me were kind of round about but it was supposedly the quickest route.  Maybe it’s just me but I like my routes to be more direct and preferably keep me on the highway.  If I even see a stop sign or traffic light then I kind of question is it really the quickest route and if so why the hell is it the case.  While it wasn’t one of my road warrior status drives from MI to NC it was long enough that I got bored.  The radio was playing stuff that was putting me to sleep and my mom was quiet as a church mouse when she wasn’t napping.  She’ll talk my ear off any other time but when we get in the car she wants to be quiet.  Problem is when I’m bored my mind disengages, I shut down, and get sleepy.  Definitely have to plan something to fight that next time.  I was ready to jump out of the car and kiss the ground once we finally got there but of course I had to transfer everything out of the car and bring it up the stairs or ramp to the beach house.  By law, beach houses have to be elevated so it’s never a straight walk to the front door.

What really irked me was instead of being able to just lay down and chill, I had to hop back in the truck and drive my mom and Val to the grocery store.  Personally, I would’ve preferred going to the grocery store the night before and packing stuff in a cooler, ordering pizza the first night, and then maybe hit  up the store the next day but what do I know?   Cinnamon had an accident in one of the bedrooms.  She hasn’t had one since shortly after we got her.  I guess I can chalk it up to the trip (she’s not really fond of  long car rides) and the stress/excitement of an unknown and new environment.  I still got a bit annoyed and upset with her.  She pretty much stayed up under my mama for the rest of that first night.  One negative about taking the dog along is that it’s not really a vacation if I still have to take her out at the ass crack of dawn. *sigh*  But it takes me awhile to adjust enough to a new place to get a decent night’s sleep anyway so I was up.  It was a lot harder to find her some grass nearby to handle her business but we quickly got a routine down.

I felt kind of bad because Cinnamon just loved lounging out on the back porch.  She can’t do that around here.  Makes me really adamant and motivated to move someplace with a fenced in backyard and maybe a deck so she can be off  leash and I don’t have to worry about her taking off.  It also felt good to have more people for Cinnamon to divide her time with.  Oh she still made sure I didn’t get to far from her, my puppy girl has issues.  I really didn’t have a clue to how she’d take to the beach but she loved it!  I even got her in the ocean, though she didn’t venture out far enough to have to swim it was fun watching her both chase and run from the waves.

On average it was about 10-15º cooler at the beach then it was at home.  The breeze was divine and there’s not many things I can think of that’s better than hearing the waves and watching the sunset at the beach.  Next time I’m definitely going to have to catch a sunrise on the beach. Maybe in the future I might even try a late, late night skinny dip session, maybe.  I don’t know seeing those little fish fighting the current at the beach made me a little leary.  For some reason they made me think of that parasite in South America that swims up your urethra and latches on.  What?!  I never said it was rational but I don’t want to be violated by guppies and whatnot.

I was disappointed at the lack of thong, toplessness, and nudity on the beach.  I also don’t understand why everybody with a dog wanted to set up a spot near my dog.  It’s another case of that age old pet peeve of mine.  All this space on the beach (the least crowded beach I’ve ever been on) and you have to sit next to me?  Really?  Could’ve done with some more cake time too but nowadays it seems like even if I tied a steak wrapped in $100 bills around my neck I can’t get any Valentine-Kiss , with anyone.   Cry-Out   I kind of want to go back for my birthday.  I don’t think I”ll be able to swing it this year but I definitely want to table it for consideration next year.  

I’m probably talking to myself but what’s been up with you?  Anything interesting going on?  What are your plans for the 4th?


Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.