Brain Nuggets

Dr. Oz is a creepy looking bastard to me.  There’s just something untrustworthy about him.  That and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he drives around in a rape van full of roofies and chloroform.  

I can’t find blood oranges to save my life.  Where’s one of those roadside Mexicans with the fruit bags?  I know somebody has some blood oranges they can let me hold and by hold I mean tongue rape those bitches until my facial hair is a sloppy, wet mess.

I wouldn’t fly Malaysia Airlines to an island nation of women genetically predisposed to cater to any and all perverted whims I could ever imagine.

I could really go for a pedi and a massage right about now.

I keep thinking about getting a tattoo in spite of my feelings of tattoos in general.

Saw an early screening of Get Up On last week. It was probably one of the least organized screenings I’ve been to.  There was a James Brown dance contest but only half the people even pretended to dance.  The trivia contest was a fail and the movie started at least a half hour late. It was probably the people in attendance were probably the most ghetto of any I’ve been too.  No home training at all.   Besides glossing over some of the bad stuff it was pretty good.  James Brown was funny as hell! He was an asshole but he was funny as hell.

I really want to see Guardians of the Galaxy.  I mean wet myself while doing the pee pee dance bad!

This final season of True Blood has been ass!  I still haven’t forgiven them for killing off Alcide like that.  I really hope Game of Thrones doesn’t veer so far away from the books like True Blood did.  Speaking of I think I only have one or two more books to go (not counting short stories in various anthology books) before I’m done with the series.  Just waiting for the paperback versions.

I’m so over the rain.  Over the past few days we’ve gotten several inches of it.  I don’t remember it raining like this before I moved here.  

It seems like the older I get the gimpier I am becoming.  As much as I dislike doctors I may end up having to tap out and get a doctor to resolve some of these aches and pains that aren’t going away.

 I’m over my Samsung Galaxy Note 2.  I’m ready for something new.  Of course I still have several months until I’m eligible for an upgrade.  I’m thinking Galaxy Note 4, Nexus 6, LG G3, iPhone 6, and a couple of others on the horizon.  Yeah, an iPhone is actually on my list but only the one with the larger screen.  I don’t think I can go back to a tiny ass screen since getting this Note 2.  I’ll probably just hold out for some other type of phone and just get an iPad since my first generation Kindle Fire sucks steamy hot monkey balls!  I also want a smart watch.  Oh I don’t have any need for one at all but I still want one because I think they’re kind of cool.

Instagram is growing on me.  Kind of feeling disillusioned that so many of the Instagram “models” had surgical assistance to look the way they do.  It’s like the day I found out pro-wrestling was predetermined, Santa Claus was my mom, and that Buffalo wings were actually chicken all rolled into one horribly sucky day.  I just want to do a Florida Evans and scream damn, damn, damn, at the Internet before running to my room and violently slamming doors!  Rubber cement asses make me sick!  Oh and waist cinchers to me is like playing video games with your boy and finding out he’s been kicking your ass using cheat codes!  I giggle whenever their comments don’t go in the direction they planned.

I hate buns, not the bread but the hairstyle!  It’s like the go to lazy bitch hairdo nowadays.  Why even bother doing your hair if that’s the best you’re going to come up with?  If you’re not even going to try then don’t even comb your hair and say you’re going natural.  Yeah, I said it!

I’ve been to the beach, now I want to chill in the mountains.  Preferably in an outdoor hot tub, at the cabin, when the leaves are changing or when it’s snowing.  Just hope whoever uses it after me is on the pill or something.  What?!  Don’t judge me!  Hell, I want to go back to the beach too.  LOL!

How come all the cute chicks are boring as fuck?!

If fucking your face is wrong I will NEVER, EVER try to be right.  I really do believe that spitters are quitters. I can’t respect a quitter.  Milk of Dicknesia is good for you so drink up!  I’m looking out for you because I care.  What are you waiting for, these babies aren’t going to kill themselves are they?

I’ve had a real sweet tooth lately.  I usually prefer salty stuff but these Rice Krispies treats, animal crackers, and brownies are calling my name. I would do vile, disgusting things for some donuts right now.  

Am I the only one excited about Shark Week?  

I want NFL Sunday Ticket but since it’s not free this year like it was last year I don’t know if I’m going to get it.  I really enjoyed getting to see my Lions play most Sundays when they weren’t on the national feed but Sunday Ticket ain’t cheap.  Decisions, decisions!

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.