Just got back from my mom’s retirement luncheon. She was actually late to it. She’s using up some banked time she has tomorrow so Friday will be her last day. I hope she doesn’t snot up at her retirement party. Or I’ll have to throw something at her. Met some of my mom’s co-workers. One of them was kind of hot. I’m kind of sad that one I was looking forward to seeing wasn’t there. She’s definitely leer worthy. Maybe I’ll take her to see The Hunger Games tomorrow. I think I may actually come out of pocket and buy the trilogy for my Kindle Fire. Last time I checked they were available for under $20, unless someone wants to donate them to me. What?! Times are harder than my dick with a thong covered ass smothering my face and gas is $4 a gallon… again. Me licky licky if you get it. I’ll probably get it so I have something to read during any slow times while I’m looking for a place next month. I’m almost ready to break out the 2012 Waka Flocka Flame remix version of my happy dance. You ain’t ready for it though!
I haven’t flirted with anyone in awhile. Well, not in a way I find interesting and enjoyable mostly because I was either bored or it amused me. I kind of miss it. I want to be flirted with. I need my cake time with a big booty cutie.
I’ve been looking at places that allow dogs and most of them seem to restrict every breed I want either by name or by weight. I don’t want a dog that weighs less than 20 lbs. Also I’m not sure what’s left that’s a decent size and temperament after all the breeds they’ve restricted people from having. They don’t even want dogs with any percentage mix of a banned breed. I guess Pit Bulls, Akitas, Chows, German Shepherds, Rottweilers, etc. are the niggers of the dog world. What the fuck is left for me to have?
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March 30th »« Getting zzzzzzzs
Hard to believe it’s the first day of spring. Seems like winter ended in February with a couple of weeks of spring to start off March and now we’ve had summer like weather for the past 1.5 – 2 weeks. A cool down is finally coming towards the end of the week.
My teams didn’t want to cooperate with my brackets. I still managed to go 12-4 in the last round and all the teams I have for the final four are still alive and well.
I’ve officially added this blood orange sherbet I bought over the weekend to my do not share list. I had to stop myself when I did because I could’ve finished the whole damn thing in one sitting. I’ll definitely have to buy some more. I’ve been craving a mint Oreo blizzard with hot fudge from Dairy Queen since getting the e-mail that it was their flavor of the month. I just haven’t been near one since it got warm and I hate that it’s so warm a good portion of it will melt before I get home.
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Humpday happenings »« Doubting
I’ve heard of funerals lately being called homecomings and homegoings. I think both of them sound a bit flippant for my tastes. They sound like a party and that you’re there to have a good time. I’ve told people that I don’t want a funeral but if they feel the need to have one if it’s referred to as either a homecoming or homegoing I will rise from the dead and murder everyone involved. There, it needed to be said.
Now that Justin Bieber is 18 and legal he’s technically too old to fuck the majority of his fans or to be fucked by pedophiles. They must be bummed.
Hulk Hogan has a sex tape being shopped around but still no Rihanna or Serena Williams sex tape? Oh giggling sweet baby Jebus how is that even remotely fair?
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Getting zzzzzzzs »« Problems
Can you be friends with someone whom you have little in common with and don’t really relate to? I suppose the having little in common with part might not be so mad as long as you have a strong bond over what you do have in common. I’m just not too sure about the don’t relate to part. More specifically, I want and need my friends to be able to relate to me. What’s the purpose of having a friend that doesn’t understand you? Kind of sounds like an associate to me but I digress. There are plenty of people I have little in common with and don’t relate to. I think I need some commonality for those I let into my inner sanctum. Which is why I’ve never really had a lot of friends. I don’t think everyone is deserving of my friendship and if you’re the type who is friends with everybody I just can’t see myself wanting to be your friend because you obviously don’t value it as much as I do if you just let any and everyone be your friend. What?! I have elitist leanings. I’ve never denied it and I’m okay with it. We don’t have to be 100% simpatico but I don’t want to end every conversation with, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.” I hate ending serious conversations like that. I just don’t like things being left unsaid and open-ended. It’s not harmonic. I also don’t want a polar opposite because, well, I’ve been there, done that, and it just doesn’t work for me. At the end of the day, if I have any doubts that you’re in my corner then I can’t see us working.
I really wish women came with those “I want you” chairs like they have on The Voice. It would make things a lot simpler for everyone involved. I’m kind of tired trying to figure out how people feel, what they’re thinking, and what they want. I’ll be the first to admit that I have trust issues and will throw up walls, pull up the drawbridge, and summon the archers but I’m sick of feeling like I have to be on my guard with everyone because they act questionably and/or I don’t know or trust their intentions. I just want to be able to truly be myself at all times, good, bad, or otherwise, and trust that she still respects and loves me and won’t be scared away. I swear if I had hair some woman would frustrate me enough to pull it out. I’m just going to start acting brand new with everybody. For now on if you don’t tell me and tell me on the regular then I don’t know it.
I had a discussion with Val recently. Apparently there is a pretty significant disagreement concerning who dumped whom. I’m going with my version. I suck at giving specific dates but most times I can remember conversations almost verbatim. It does lead me to wonder how exactly do you forget how you dumped someone less than a year ago? Maybe that should tell me something. Whatever. I just don’t understand and maybe it’s not meant for me to understand. Part of me really has a problem with that last statement but I do know that sometimes you just have tap out and take the L to prevent further damage.
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Doubting »« Fuck it Friday – #80 – Fuck the wait!
I haven’t done a Fuck it Friday in about five months. Fuck it Friday is my spotlight rant post where I give extra special attention to the people, places, and things that have irked me, pissed me the fuck off, or otherwise are begging for the one finger salute with extreme prejudice! You’re welcome to and encouraged to join in as well. This post contains a highschool sausage party full of profanity. I cuss. If you haven’t noticed that after reading more than one or two posts then you sir (or ma’am) are a complete an utter dumbass. At times my rants may be misogynistic, racist, elitist, blasphemous, mean spirited, anti-children, anti-baby mama, anti anything for that matter, arrogant, seething with snarkiness, and pretty much piss in the face of what you believe and your sensibilities. With that said, suck it bitches! Suck it long and hard until the creamy liquid Freaky coats your throat and slowly dies in your tummy. Pull up your big girl panties and hold on or get to steppin’ and kick sharp rocks! As is everything else in my blog this post is written from my perspective. If anything I say hits a bit too close to home for you then fuck you! You need to work on that because it’s your problem, not mine. Jesus doesn’t live here and there is no God in this dojo. Now with that out of the way read on.
Fuck cell phones! It’s 2012 so can someone tell me why I can’t have a conversation with certain people without sounding like an 80 year old woman screaming, “What?!” It’s always something like the volume is too low, the voice comes in and out, or something else. This is why I still prefer a landline for actual conversations.
Fuck government agency paperwork! All the days through the year that you could send me paperwork why the fuck would you saddle me with that shit around the holidays? For that matter why do I have to write out all that shit anyway? Shouldn’t there be a short form or a box I can check saying nothing has changed since last time? Oh wait, that would be too much like right, huh? How about extending the deadline to return that shit too? You want me to jump on command through your flaming hoops and I can’t even get a full two weeks? Let me think of a way to make your job more difficult and annoying and don’t say jack shit to me about it either!
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Problems »« Dance 4 me
Facebook finally gave me the option to update to the Timeline layout. I’m liking it! Still not certain if I’m going to publish it yet or wait until the update is forced.
I’ve been having a few gremlins when it comes to my blog lately. Certain people who I know are in the U.S. and am reasonably certain aren’t using a proxy have I.P. addresses showing as coming from China. I block I.P. addresses from certain countries and China is one of them. Because of this I got a couple of messages asking me why I blocked them. I think I’ve unblocked them but I still don’t know what’s up with the wonky locations? I think in part it may be a problem with a plugin I had installed recently. Those problems seemed to happen after it was activated. I even got a banned message and I know my I.P. address didn’t match the one from the message. I deactivated it and so far so good. I’m going to overhaul this blog one of these days, probably by the end of summer, at the latest. I want a new theme and it looks like I’ll be buying one. I also think I want to try a new web host so yeah, change is a comin’.
Yesterday was one of those freaky weather days. I woke up and it was snowing at a nice rate but by the afternoon the snow had changed to rain and most of the fluffy white stuff was gone. All I could think was what a waste and what’s the point?
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Fuck it Friday – #80 – Fuck the wait! »« D.V.M.
I wholeheartedly agree with part one of the above photo but I’d love to experience some that devil vagina magic. Sounds absolutely enthralling! Kind of reminds me of the days I used to dabble around with the occult. Some black sex magic might be fun. Maybe then I’ll finally get my cuckoo for cocoa cock stalker.
R.I.P. Whitney Houston.
I’ve been listening to Whitney most of the night since I found out about her death. I rectified a couple of wrongs. One, letting the battery die in my mp3 and 2.) not having any Whitney Houston on my Kindle Fire. I still need to download more Whitney in general as I only have her greatest hits and last album.
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Dance 4 me »« Wait, Mary Jane don’t go!
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