Today is so boring. I’m web surfing and the TV is on in the background. Days of our Lives is on. It’s kind of funny. Marlena is the Salem serial killer. Now we have to wait a year until they actually catch or kill her. Besides the bad acting, implausible storyline and situations, the thing that annoys me the most about soap operas is the way they stretch everything out. Christmas lasts about a week. Pregnancies last a year. Can I get the Cliff Notes version of them?

I haven’t had too much sleep. I spent way too much time on the phone last night talking to a boring chick. I’m trying to phone bone and she’s uttering some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Of course that’s when I even understand what the fuck she’s saying. She’s not nasty enough for me. She’s not even nasty at all. I don’t think she’d even be capable of making my dick hard in person. That’s kind of sad considering how horny I am naturally. Kind of pathetic too.

I’m stuck at home waiting for a delivery. I hate waiting for deliveries, especially when the shit isn’t even for me. Why do shipping companies think you want to or even have all day to wait around? Seems to me that they should take a cue from the cable companies and schedule deliveries in four or six hour blocks. People would go out of their way to do business with that company.

I have no idea who I want to win the Democratic primary. I want to vote in the caucus but I don’t want to officially declare myself a democrat. Even though I usually vote democratic since I consider them the lesser of two evils. I’m not feeling any of the candidates though. Rev. Sharpton is clearly the superior speaker but besides not having a chance in hell of winning, he’s a reverend. I won’t vote for anyone with a strong religious fanaticism (some of you call it faith.) It’s kind of hard to keep church and state separate when you’re a reverend! Just so no one thinks I’m discriminating, I wouldn’t vote for a priest, bishop, pope, cardinal, pastor, or anyone else of the ilk.

What’s the deal with all the gray haired white dudes running for President anyway? It used to be that the President entered office looking young and vibrant, with a mane of dark hair and left a weathered, gray, haggard, shell of the man he once was. I really wonder how these guys will look if any of them manage to beat Dubya. I’m thinking Cryptkeeper.

Damn, I’m hungry! I know as soon as I step out of the door to get something or begin to cook something I’ll miss the asshole from UPS or FedEx. Why the hell I have to be here is beyond me. Half the time the guy doesn’t ask for a signature but for all I know he could just want to get away from my dog. One good thing about my dog, her presence cuts most conversations with strangers short.