Random Thoughts on VD

The more I think of it the more I’m starting to believe that I’m a hedonist. I’ve always thought of that as a being a bad thing but now… not so.

I give all of my women (any female I’m close regardless of relationship) a personal t.o.a. (term of affection). Most of them like it but even if they don’t I won’t change their t.o.a. once it’s given. I’ll keep calling them by that name until it grows on them.

Most women don’t know how to give a good handjob.

I’ve never had a footjob but the more I see of them the more I want one.

I secretly compare every lover sexually to one particular ex-girlfriend. Some have come close to matching her skills in certain areas but overall none of them could hold her thong. She’s the first and closest I’ve ever come to being pussywhipped. I have no doubt I’d be her bitch if we were still together and I’d love every minute of it.

I hate first dates. They’re something that needs to be endured, survived, and over with as soon as possible. I’ve only had one good first date in my life. I didn’t fuck her that night but I did get a happy ending before I left.

You know VD is near when everywhere you go someone is selling raggedy teddy bears and sad looking roses. Women always say it’s the thought that counts. What would you think if you found out your man bought your VD gift at the gas station, a street vendor, or a liquor store? Would you think he was sweet or just a cheap, lazy, and last minute shopping bastard?

There’s no reason anyone over the age of 18 or 21 at the latest shouldn’t have a driver’s license. Even if you don’t have a car have you ever considered that your mate doesn’t want to drive your state ID carrying ass around every time you want to go out? I think getting a driver’s license is a rite of passage going into adulthood. Not having one makes me wonder the same thing I do when I see a 16 year old in the 8th or 9th grade. What’s wrong with him/her? You definitely lose respect points in my book for that. State IDs are for teenagers, nondriving cripples, and drunks who’ve had their licenses revoked.

Why do people without cars always have some place they need to be but never have any money to pay for where they need to go? If you’re dependent on the DOT or a cab quit telling me how independent your non driving ass is. Chill, I’m just clowning on people without a ride. As long as you can legally and actually drive you’re not that sorry.

Excerpts from a past VD conversation I’ve had (post break-up):

CC: What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?
Me: Do we still go together?
CC: You know I still got love for you.
Me: Got love for me? I got love for a lot of people that don’t get Valentine’s Day gifts from me either.
CC: Damn, Freaky, why you gotta be so damn difficult? I love you.
Me: Mmm hmm. I love you too.
CC: So what did you get me for Valentine’s Day?
Me: When’s the last time I got some throat, ass, or pussy from you?
CC: It’s like that?
Me: Hell yeah, it’s like that. My gifts like my love are conditional.

Why do some women think you want to be fucked in the ass just because you like fucking them in the ass? I should get some interesting google hits on this post.

I’ve never met a scorpio that I didn’t want to punch, slap, stomp, spit on, kick, and choke at some point. It’s something about their personalities and mine that just don’t work well together like niggers being quiet and movie theaters, little boys and priests, prison, big Bubba, and my ass, and President Bush and liberal atheists. Anything longer than a short visit risks tearing the fabric of space and time.

I’ve also never met a scorpio who didn’t use the line, “I’m a scorpio so you know what that means.” I know what it means to you but do you know what that means to me?

I’m going to pick up Saw II on dvd later on today. I never went to see it in the theaters but I heard it was good. I’m sure they’re woking on part III right now.

I can’t bring myself to watch the winter Olympics for more than a couple of minutes. Most of it is repetitive and boring. I do like watching the women in their skimpy outfits and tight suits. Otherwise it’s kind of a snoozefest. Someone should sign Serena Williams to some winter sports. If she has on spandex and makes her ass wink at me, I’ll watch it no matter how boring the sport is she’s playing.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.