Ask Freaky Anything

Ask me anything has been spreading through blogger like a firestorm in recent weeks. I mentioned doing it months ago after seeing it done on someone else’s blogs but after countless requests it took this long to even get any questions/participation since lurkers don’t talk, blog stalkers just hit up your blog roll and comments, and don’t talk, and everyone else, well I haven’t figure out what the fuck their story is yet. Blogger is starting to get boring again. Anyway, since some of you had questions, I got answers.

From Lady J:

What’s your favorite position?
Freaky right off the bat! Now that’s the way to start off some questions damn it! My favorite positions are cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggystyle, and I even have a newfound respect for the good old missionary position. I like the same positions for anal too in case anyone is curious.

Whose your most memorable sex partner?
Damn that’s hard. Most of them were memorable in some way. A few stick out the most but that doesn’t mean the others were bad (well some of them were but most of the ones not mentioned aren’t.) The little sister of one of my friends because she’s the first girl that ever sucked my dick, let me fuck her in the ass, dominated me, and introduced me to several fetishes I still have to this day (basically she was the first to bring the freak out of Freaky Deaky). Ms. Black & Wild because she’s sucked my dick more times than all of my other sex partners combined. She’s also the first one to swallow my babies on purpose and frequently to the point that I’m kind of spoiled on being swallowed. Apple Nugget because I’ve probably had sex with her more than all of my other partners combined. She was the first one to let me cum in her after fucking her raw, the first and only one so far to let me cum in her ass, and the best phone boner I ever talked to. Eboni was the best head (seriously she could give porn stars and prostitutes lessons) and sex I ever had! She’s the closest I’ve ever came to getting pussy whipped (she almost brought the bitch out in me more than once) and out of everyone I’ve ever slept with she’s the one I most wanted to get pregnant and enjoyed sleeping with. Her libido actually scared me a couple of times.

Have you ever tossed a salad?
Nope, not yet but it’s something I want to try. It’s not a matter of if I’ll do it it’s just a matter of when and with whom? When I meet a woman that’s down for it when I have the urge to do it then it’s on like Donkey Kong. I’m willing to give it a try once and if I like it then a lot more than once.

If you went to jail for life how would you fulfill your sexual appetite?
First off, damn, the authorities caught me before I could kill myself? For the first few years I’d be firing off knuckle babies left and right. I can go a few years without. Eventually, though I’d probably succumb to the phenomena known as institutional homosexuality. Basically you fuck what you can get while you’re locked up. When you’re in jail you hook up with some boy pussy and when you’re out you jump right back into some hot, pink, and wet pussy. Short answer, after I get tired of making knuckle babies I’ll probably switch teams and be up in some young inmate’s throat and ass like Adebisi was in Kenny (if you watched Oz) Freaky gotta get his nut one way or the other.

If you had a choice between getting fuck in the ass or suck a dick which would will you pick?
I used to play a “what if” game with several friends and this was one of the questions that came up. Well, since I’d really prefer not to get my asshole beat up or ripped apart call me a cocksucker because I’ll straight up be a bobblehead.

From ShereeJoi:

Have you ever had a threesome? If so was it with two woman or one and a dude, If no would you ever have a threesome?
Unfortunately, I can’t say that I have. I’m in the close but no cigar club. I’m very open to engaging in some three way action with two women just so I can cross it off of my freak list. I wouldn’t even seriously consider doing it without some real talk and open conversation to see where everybody’s head is at. Honestly, I don’t think it’s something I’d want to do a lot. Threesomes kind of fall into the same category as the 69 position. It’s kind of absurd and ridiculous to me. Someone is bound to feel one partner more than the other leaving the 3rd person feeling left out and neglected like the proverbial 3rd wheel. I don’t think I’d ever do one with my girlfriend or anyone I truly and deeply loved but if she’s just a fuck buddy or something then bring it on!

Have you ever had sex outside if so where at?
Yes, I have. It was on the stairs of an ex-girlfriend’s front porch. I was scared as hell because I swore someone was going to walk or drive by and catch us in flagrante delicto. It took a little persuasion and seduction on her part to get me to do it. I was so fucking jittery at first, I looked guilty. Once I got that stroke going I was oblivious to cars, people, and pretty much anything that didn’t involve our pleasure.

What would you do for a million dollars that’s out of the norm?
I don’t know after the government takes out taxes I won’t actually be walking away with anything close to a million dollars. Hmm, for a million dollars I’d step into the ring and take one punch from Mike Tyson, slap my mama, slap someone else’s mama, appear on the Jerry Springer or Maury Povich show for something humiliating, and maybe something those fools do on Fear Factor for just $50,000.

From a Woman on the Move:

What turns you on most about a woman?
I had to think about this for a moment. I could’ve went with a physical attribute or even a personality or mental attribute but the question did ask what turns me on the most about a woman. At the end of the day what turns me on most about a woman is how she treats me and makes me feel. There’s nothing sexier then a woman who can make me feel like Emporer Freaky when I really feel like just plain old who gives a fuck about me Freaky. A woman that motivates, inspires, is down for me, and loves me and all of the voices in my head.

What’s the freakiest sexual encounter you’ve had to date?
A friend of my sister’s (the same one that gave birth to Freaky Deaky) spent the night and we were all laying in my bed watching tv. I had an air conditioner in my room (I like my room chilly) so we were all under the covers. Her friend crawls under the covers and between my legs. She’s rubbing on and playing with my dick through my shorts and I’m wondering what the fuck? I had a full size bed then and my sister was less then a few feet away from us. She starts reaching in my shorts to grab my dick and pull it out. I’m trying to tie up her hands and after a minute or so of wrestling with her she pops her head up from under the covers, looks me dead in the eyes and whispers, “Either let me suck your dick now or I will NEVER suck it again.” Dilemma, dilemma, I had a decision to make. Try to soothe her shego (female ego) and hope I can get a raincheck on some bobblehead action, risking her being true to her word and no longer giving Dick a tongue bath or hope my sister is so engrossed in her tv show that she doesn’t notice us. Well, I chose option B and let her girl slob Dick up. I felt kind of bad because my sister was within arms reach and her friend had my dick in her mouth and was slurping on it hard and very loudly. Now how my sister didn’t hear it or managed not to acknowledge it was completely beyond me. After she was done sucking me she demanded that I suck on her tits. So she crawled up the bed and on top of me and I sucked them. After I was done she got off of me, put my dick back in my shorts, and watched tv.

Do you have any strange fetishes?
Strange is in the eye of the beholder. I have a few fetishes but I guess my strangest fetish I have is a name fetish. I have a strong desire to bang the hell out of women with certain names. The freakiest women I’ve been with had names that begin with the letters “E” & “M”. I’d definitely like to meet and fuck more women whose names begins with those letters. Who knows maybe someone whose name begins with another letter can put it on me and add her letter to my name fetish. I’d really like to fuck women with the names, Kelly, Kimberly, Candace, Tamika, Sabrina, Rebecca, Nicole, and Vanessa.

Head or pussy?
That’s an evil question! It’s like making someone choose which parent’s life to save. Let me go on the record and say that I love both. I was getting my dick sucked for years before I ever got my first piece of pussy so I definitely have a strong fondness for head. I’ve often told women that if they sucked my dick well enough I can do without the pussy that night. However, I’m going to keep it real. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing feels like pussy so if I had to choose between getting only one for any significant period of time then pussy is my orifice of choice.

If you had ONE wish what would it be?
To have the life I have and feel the way I do in my dreams everyday in the real world or to be trapped in that dream for the rest of my life never to wake up again.

From Zora, my Blogger baby’s mama:

1. What’s your biggest regret in life?
Either how things ended with Eboni or blaming and punishing my mom for separating from and divorcing my dad.

2. If you could repeat one day in your life, what day would it be and why?
That’s a toughie. The last conversation I had with Eboni. I wonder how things would’ve been different today if I was a bit more mature and told her how I felt minus the cynicism and sarcasm. I wonder if she was the “one”. I’m afraid I fucked up and will never find anyone to love me let alone love me like she did. Either that or the last time I tried to kill myself. I said a lot of mean things and really wanted to hurt people when I died. Of course, I didn’t die and if I ever try to kill myself again, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to tell anyone about it before hand.

3. Even though you’re describe yourself as antisocial, what bloggers would you like to meet and why?
Wow, I don’t know if I can really see myself ever actually meeting any bloggers in person. Meeting people for the first time is very uncomfortable and stressful to me. Besides being antisocial, I’m shy, quiet, introverted, probably have at least one type of social anxiety disorder, and I also have a very definite and strong fear of rejection. To get me to meet any blogger would take someone who has a lot more patience than I do, good people skills, and the ability to make me feel comfortable.

With that being said the bloggers I’d want to meet are: Ladynay because she makes me laugh, I’m afraid her van will hurt me if she’s not on the list, and she seems cool as hell. I like flirting and messing with her and there’s a definite hint of freakiness to some of her comments. That’s a good thing in my book. I’m also curious to see how much her blog personality matches her real world, real life personality.

Sylvia Hubbard because she piques my curiosity and interest. Seeing her doesn’t cause me to break my 30 minute rule since she’s local. She seems to have a nice personality on blogger. She has that sweet and innocent look to her despite some of the naughty things she says and taunts she leaves me. She definitely sets off my freak detector. She’s an author so I’d love to pick her mind about the writing process and ask her tons of questions.

Last but not least, you Zora. You’re smart, witty, I enjoy the flirt thing we have and it would be fun (maybe even funny) to see the look on your face and how you’d react to some of the things I might say. I’d also like to see how much I can get you to open up and if I can get you off of your chain. Besides, I have a pack of bubblegum and I need someone to swap gum with and while I’m at it I can show and prove to you that I really am a good kisser while pulling your hair. I’d also like to see you in those pants. LOL!

4. What is (at least) one list that i’m on or keep removing myself from? 🙂 You know i had to ask! 🙂
I knew you really wanted to know. I wasn’t planning on ever telling anyone what list(s) they were on. Since I said you could ask me anything then I guess I have to spill the beans or some of them anyway. What lists are you on? I’ll be generous, this time and give you a couple. One list you’re on is having said something that turned me on. You’re also on the list of bloggers I’ve had dirty thoughts about. Obviously you’re on my preferred list of bloggers I like to flirt with too.
One list you keep removing yourself from (or trying to) is the list of bloggers I’d want to meet. One minute it seems like meeting you would be cool as hell and then you make an innocuous comment here or there about something that makes me think it would be a tragedy or a disaster of epic proportions. I could tell you more lists but that’s all you’re getting from me. I feel so dirty and exposed right now. Now tell me your secrets. BWAHAHAHA!!!

From DeepNThought:

Would you ever be with anyone who does not have the same belief system you have?
It depends on what beliefs we don’t share and how far apart they are. It’s important that we are simpatico about some things but I don’t expect a disciple to fall in line and believe in everything I tell her. I don’t think our belief system needs to be the same but I do believe there needs to be a lot more similarities than differences.

Would you marry a Christian?
I think a better question might be would a Christian marry me? I don’t have anything against them. One of my best friends is a Christian. Sorry, I had to say it. :o) If she can accept my agnosticism I can accept her Christianity. So yes, if I fall in love with one I’d marry her.

Have you ever tried to turn a one night stand into a girlfriend?
I don’t think so. It was more like she turned the one night stand into a relationship. When I originally met Eboni she was talking about how she was just trying to fuck and set something up for that night. No strings, no attachments, nothing but fucking. I told her nope and wished her luck in her search. We talked for a few days, maybe even a week with her trying to play with my libido before I let her come over for a meet and greet. Well she must of did her research or something because she was armed to the teeth with Freakonite (the Freaky Deaky form of Kryptonite). I wasn’t planning on fucking her because I was looking for more than a one night stand. Well somewhere between the big ass, the very form fitting stretch pants,
showing her my room (like a dummy), the satin bra & panties, and making out with her. I hit it. A part of me felt so cheap for being so weak and letting her tempt me. I thought it was going to be a one and done deal but when she got home she called me and kept calling me. I guess I brought my A game that day because she wanted to do me again. She didn’t want me fucking with anyone else and she wanted to be my woman. The rest is history.

What do you want your legacy to be?
I don’t honestly think about things like that. When I’m dead and gone, people are going to think about me less and less until eventually no one thinks about or remembers me at all. I don’t think I’m going to change the world. I also don’t think I have any significant effect on anyone else’s life so I don’t have a legacy. I don’t really think it matters what I want my legacy to be because I don’t have one and probably never will.

From Ladynay:

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Depends on how I have my bed set up. Whenever I have my bed set up so one side is directly against the wall then I sleep on the wall side of the bed. As it is now, I sleep on both sides of the bed. I generally start off sleeping on the left side because it’s closest to the fan. Sometimes I stay on the left side. If I get tired of the fan I’ll roll over to the right side of the bed and if I start to get warm then I’ll go back over to the left. I’m not a wild sleeper but since it’s my bed and I’m alone why limit myself to one side of the bed?

What type and color underwear you have on if any?
Ladynay, you so nasty! LOL! As I type this I’m wearing charcoal gray cotton boxer shorts. I want to know what you have on. 😉

What is your ultimate favorite candy?
I don’t know if I have a favorite ultimate candy. There are just too many varieties. The different types of chocolate alone makes that question difficult to answer. Then there’s hard candy, soft candy, etc. I’ll just list some of my favorites. I love white chocolate, milk chocolate, and chocolate mint. I love M&M’s (chocolate, mint, peanut butter, and crunchy), I like Reese’s Pieces, Hershey Kissables, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Tootsie rolls (especially the flavored ones and the Tootsie roll pops), Nerds, Life Savors, Sunkist Fruit Gems, and many more. I hate anything with nuts, coconuts, and black licorice. I haven’t really had a sweet tooth lately though.

Out of all your current goals, what do you want to accomplish the most?
Probably going back to school and staying until I’ve gotten everything I want academically done.

Are you employed? I never read about a coworker bugging you or anything work related, thus my question…
I’ve blogged about clients bothering and bugging me before. It was just before you started reading my blog. I thought I talked about it more here but I’m guess I saved that bitching for one of my other blogs. It’s just not something I blog about because I can’t really go into details without making it easy for people I’d rather not, identify me and possibly get into trouble.




From Thoughts of a Southern Gal:

Is there such a thing as the pussy being too wet?
Only if it leaves a wet spot in my bed, she’s trying to ride my face, or bury my face in her cooch. The phrase slippery when wet really is true but if we find the right position then it’s all good. So that’s my answer, if you find the right position then there’s no such thing as the pussy being too wet.

Can you describe the different feelings with and without a condom on?
Wow, that’s a hard question, lol. It’s tough to describe but for me fucking without a condom kind of feels like someone running an electric current across my wet skin. At the same time someone else is setting off every nerve ending simultaneously by lightly brushing or caressing them while yet someone else is leaving a trail of wet kisses in that area and blowing the saliva. It’s pretty intense to say the least and feels pretty damned nice. Nothing in the world feels like it. Have you ever washed a sink full of dishes wearing big rubber gloves? Fucking with a condom on kind of feels like that to me. It sort of mutes all of the feelings and sensations. Kind of like putting a dimmer switch on my dick or something. I’d like the female answer to this question.

Are you into role playing? Why or Why not
Yes, but sadly I haven’t met many women into it since becoming an adult. Sure they say they’re game but until it happens they’re all talk and no action in my book. Why do I like role playing? I’ve always been told that I have a vivid if not perverted and sometimes overactive imagination. Creativity is a form of intelligence and I’ve always found intelligence kind of sexy. It’s fun to see how the role play will turn out. I’d love to see the type of scenarios I could come up with now and how the other person would play off of me and vice versa. I like to think of role playing as a form of improvisational foreplay.

Thanks to everyone that participated, fuck everybody who didn’t (I won’t even waste a sentence in a future FiF for any of you.)

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.