Happy belated birthday to my blog wife and mother of my five blog babies, Zora! Her birthday was Sunday. I have a nickname for you. You probably won’t like it but it makes me chuckle so that’s all that matters. I got her some Aqua Dots, before they were recalled, and fed her plenty of them. Look for an announcement about blog baby number six in the not too distant future. She’ll protest but secretly methinks she likes being my blog baby making machine.
Where the fuck is that crystal clear copy of American Gangster I keep hearing about? Maybe I have an extremely limited experience with bootlegs of mainstream movies but I’ve never seen a bootleg that I couldn’t tell was a bootleg. Bootlegs = low quality to me and because of that I don’t fuck with them.
Speaking of American Gangster, I saw it opening weekend. I don’t really feel like doing a review of it. Denzel chewed up the scenery as usual. I was originally going to take off half a grade because I heard T.I. was in it. With few exceptions most rappers can’t even act intelligent let alone act their way out of a wet paper bag so for the most part I refuse to support movies that give those dumbasses work. Hey, I love rap but I wouldn’t pay to hear most actors spit a few bars either. However since T.I. ended up getting shot at the end I don’t feel the need to deduct. I do wonder something though. Considering how skinny T.I. is and how fucking big his watermelon like head is wouldn’t it be easier to shoot him in the head then to hit him in the arm? Anyway, my letter grade for American Gangster is an A-. It’s definitely worth seeing even if you’re not catching it at a matinée and if you haven’t seen it yet then you’re pretty much a non movie watching mutant freak.
I picked up a new toy this week. I’ve been wanting a new printer for a few months and I finally made the plunge. I had to overcome a cheap attack to get it but yesterday the UPS man showed up with my new baby. Why the fuck did my box smell like cigarette smoke? Look, I’m pretty liberal when it comes to most things. I think smoking anything is a disgusting habit. If you’re a weak minded addict and smoking makes you happy then puff away motherfucker but when you come over and make my apartment smell like smoke or my name box smell like it then you need to put the cancer stick down and get some help on your 2 pack a day habit. Anyway, I’ll finally be able to throw out my oldest printer. I’ve never tried Craigslist but I should see if I can get a couple of bucks or some sloppy head for it. What? Oh like none of you have ever bartered with sexual favors before! Whatever!
Sometimes I forget what a geek I am. I was telling someone about some of the features (wireless, network connection, automatic duplexing) and I was basically met with glossy eyes and, “Like I know what the fuck that is.” Gotta love my family sometimes. They’re into clothes like I’m into tech. I don’t know where they went wrong. If I was an android I would so violate that printer.
I was trying to expand upon the bloggers I read a couple of weeks ago by trying to check out some new booty blogs (well new to me anyway) everyday. All the people that seemed interesting to me haven’t updated in at least a couple of weeks. There really needs to be a better blog search. Finding funny and freaky female bloggers from metro Detroit to read is harder than a priest’s dick at daycare. What? Who the hell did you think I was trying to read anyway? Okay, I like to read funny people too but who doesn’t like freaky female bloggers? Besides I need to add some new chicks to my starting rotation flirting mix and hopefully find a muse or two to make my creative juices flow and my pants stir. What?!
Shout outs to the thirsty motherfuckers on Technorati visiting my blog as of late because “fuck” was in the tag and title of a recent post. Thanks for the hits but while we’re at it why the fuck do I always get a bunch of hits from thirsty ass perverts from Asia, Australia, and the Middle East region? What, people don’t say fuck or whatever the equivalent word for it is in your neck of the woods? I just hope all of these new people aren’t a bunch of lame ass lurkers or dudes. I never ever want Freakytopia to become a stiff leg hangout because that’s just not cool and by now I should be famous amongst the Lurker Guild for my pronounced hatred of lurkers frequent and occasional.
On my way back from Texas Roadhouse a couple of days ago I passed the light display at Hines Park. I didn’t get to see too much of it because I was going in a different direction but I may have to check it out this year. It was beautiful and brought the kid in me out for a couple of seconds. I only wish I could get someone else to drive because you can’t really enjoy the sights too much when you have to watch the road and be responsible. It wouldn’t be a bad place to take kids (if I liked them) or a big booty cutie (if I had one local).
Have you ever seen a chick with an ass that made you wipe the side of your mouth because you were starting to drool? I have. I saw one at school yesterday. I was sitting in Pussy getting set to leave the parking lot and I just thought, damn I really wish I had a pair of binoculars, some lotion, and a nut rag right about now. What?! Don’t judge me damn it! If you could hear the sounds I’m making now just thinking about it. Her ass was so fat Google needs to track it, map it, and send me driving directions!
This video made me laugh. Be glad that I don’t have a video camera or I would make something just like it. If this doesn’t make you laugh then I question your sense of humor and respectfully
request demand you get the fuck out of Freakytopia and never come back you dry, stick-in-the-mud, stick-in-the-ass, no sense of humor having bastard. Seriously, get! Don’t make me get my gun.