For anyone wondering the last post wasn’t meant to be shared with anyone so I didn’t. I suppose I could’ve just made it private so it wouldn’t show up at all instead of password protected, but private posts don’t show up in my post counts and thus makes it a little difficult to keep track of how many posts I’ve actually written. Now you know and knowing is half the battle. Pussy scented dick slap in the face to the first person who says G.I. Joe.

Monday sucked funky, engorged horse dick! I didn’t get much sleep and spent a big chunk of the day in the ER with my mom. She’s okay. I should’ve taken her offer to leave after I dropped her off and come back when she was ready to go. However, I damn near have to throw piss on her to get her to go home when I’m in the ER so being bored and annoyed for a few hours isn’t a big deal. Of course, since I don’t really have a lot of love or respect for the medical profession or it’s practitioners I tend to avoid dealing with them. The last few times I’ve been to the ER it was serious enough that I ran the risk of dying if I hadn’t. Sometimes, I wish I never went to the ER any of the times I did. The only reason I did the first time was because I thought it would be irresponsible to my dog if I upped and died on her. She’s a handful and I wasn’t sure my mom would keep her if anything happened to me. Otherwise there’s a part of me that wouldn’t be bothered if I dropped dead.

Why oh why don’t people put their phones on silent when they’re in a hospital? I heard so many annoying, garbage, ring tones I felt like I was at a dump. There were a lot of hot chicks going through the ER. I’m sure they were probably there to worry about and support a sick or injured friend or relative but even then I couldn’t stop thinking, “I’d fuck her or them.” I saw so many chicks squeezed into painted on jeans I thought I was at a bar or club. I saw this Amazonian chick with a nice phatty and then she opened her mouth. She sound country and ugly as hell. She sounded countrugly, as fuck if you will. Yes, I’ve introduced yet another word to blogging lexicon. Her voice was lower than mine. All the time I’m thinking, “Damn, don’t tell me she’s tucking some dick between that ass…until I’m done busting down her throat.” What?! I kid, I kid! Well for the most part anyway we don’t talk about that. Again, I kid or do I? LOL

At one point there was literally a procession of ancient old people in wheelchairs coming into the ER. I felt really uncomfortable. Partially because I don’t like hospitals. Usually when I’m there I’m either very ill or close to dying and I associate hospitals with germs, sickness, and death so there’s only so long I can stand to be there. The other reasons would be that old people creep me the fuck out. Seriously fossils old people and midgets are creepy as hell. You know I don’t give a fuck about being politically correct. I know they can’t help it but I feel how I feel. Deal with it! Some dude sounded like he was coughing up a lung. I hate hearing that kind of coughing. I can almost see the cooties in the air looking for me. [John Cena wave] You can’t see me germs! Then there was the light skin chick with the long silky hair and the painted on jeans. She was truly a thicky thick girl and I’m not talking Internet thicky thick either. Fortunately there was a ceiling mounted TV for me to watch because if my head wasn’t looking up I would’ve drooled in my lap.

Just when I was getting ready to scratch Lil Mama off of a couple of my lists I saw her “Shawty Get Loose” video and damn! She’s going to fuck around and have to change her name to Baby Mama when I’m done with her. I don’t really like the tomboy look. Hell, let’s keep it real I hate chicks dressing in baggy clothes trying to look like little gangstas and teenage boys. The tomboy look isn’t a good one and whenever I see some hot mess looking tomboy I always question in the back of my mind if she’s a carpet muncher down with the home team. I guess I could’ve put that on the things I’m suspicious of meme. There’s nothing sexy about a chick who is so fucking boyish/mannish that she looks like she can write her name in the snow standing up and be one of the fellas. Anyway, I prefer my chicks a little lot less masculine. Looks like Lil Mama was trying to bring some sexiness in her video. Some people were talking about her wig but at the time she could’ve been wearing a four Rat Terriers on her head and I wouldn’t have noticed…until after I got my nut. Between the silver outfit she was wearing and the snug looking black outfit she was wearing I was feeling some snugness in my boxers. Chicks in shiny stuff are fucking hot! When she did the splits my eyes rolled up in the back of my head like the Undertaker having a crack seizure and I almost skeeted. I’ll definitely have to download that on my Tivo soon. That’s one same day birthday girl that can partake in an all you can eat stiff dick sandwich from yours truly. What?!

T-Pain looks like a partially aborted and burnt Predator. Damn it, I don’t want any mail from Predators or their dread locked brethren complaining about me hating either! It’s true, it’s damned true and you know it. I still can’t forgive Chris Brown for that Umbrella/Cinderella remix singing, “Come into me.” Da fuck?! I thought he looked like he might enjoy smoking sausage but now I’m convinced he plays hide the salami on the regular. What?! Fuck you! I don’t want to hear it.

I wonder why it’s such big news that all people with blue eyes are descended from a common ancester? If you believe in the whole Adam & Eve thing we’re all related and inbred at the same time. So the next time you look at someone and think he or she can get it, just think of it like dating someone at your family reunion. Hell, I have no shame or moral ambiguity about it if I went to my family reunion and Mariah Carey was introduced to me as family, if she let me, I’d still hit it. I’d raw dog that repeatedly and enjoy every stroke as I painted her insides a pretty shade of liquid Freaky. That’s real talk.

Why is it that people with the worst spelling and grammar are usually the first one to point out mistakes their superiors make? I’m not sure what’s more annoying making a mistake or getting corrected by Cletus or Shantiniquanna? Unless the error causes me not to understand what is being said then I just let it go. It’s like an unwritten fact that as soon as you start playing Internet grammar police and spell checker (in the asshole capacity) that your grammar and spelling goes down the toilet. Besides with some people correcting their spelling and grammar would be a full time job and I don’t do volunteer work. It doesn’t pay enough. *smirk*

Why did my mother volunteer one of my other computers to my sister? Turns out some of the kids she let use her computer erased some files from her computer. People wonder why I’m stingy with my shit. That’s why! If you don’t have the money or the technical know how to fix your mistakes then you don’t need to touch, use, or even dream of touching or using any of my gadgets, gizmos, and tech. My sister never had the CDs as they were something one of her friends hooked her up with. That’s why I don’t want or let anyone use my PC without my supervision. How do you accidentally delete files if all you’re supposed to be doing is listening to music or browsing some sites? I don’t mind my sister having it and setting it up as a kiddie computer but damn let her ask me or let me volunteer. I might have been planning to turn it into a network media server or something. I need to find some software to wipe the hard drive. I have some viruses on it and some personal info I’d like to get rid of.

Flavor of Love 3 is back and I’m geeked. Well, this week was the casting special. I looked at some of the chicks this season online, so far I’m not really too impressed. I really need to get seasons 1 and 2 on DVD one of these days. I still haven’t quite placed my finger on why I like that show instead of hating it like I do most scripted reality shows but I’m glad there’s going to be a season 3. Bring on the slutty, attention whore gold diggers!

I’m this close to making my blog private and members only or just moving it to another URL. I’m tired of the bots, scrapers, and lurkers. I don’t understand why anyone would scrape my blog and copy and paste (badly I might add) my content on their ad supported blogs. I also don’t understand why some people are so insistent on reading my blog that they attempt to work around my bans but at the same time can’t be bothered to comment. You can comment on the 11/70 other blogs you read but when you come here your testes and/or ovaries suddenly atrophy and your fingers become impotent. Motherfuckers can take the time to respond to a poll but not leave a comment? Contrary to what some think, I don’t really have a love/hate relationship with my lurkers. I honestly can’t stand you lazy, “I don’t know what to say” motherfuckers! As it is I’m really considering blocking every IP address I get coming out of New York, D.C., and most of the ones coming from Georgia since people there don’t like to talk. Hell, technically all I have to do is block all of Verizon’s and Bell South’s IP addresses and about 95% of my lurker problem goes bye-bye. I don’t want to go that route but regardless things are not going to remain like they are for too much longer. Change is a coming. (Yes, I meant to say that.)