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I’m like a blind Atheist, I’ll believe it when I see it.
Olive Oyl must’ve had some really good pussy the way Popeye and Bluto always fought over her. She straight up hoed Popeye on the regular and dick teased him and Bluto both. Bluto would get tired of it and try to take the pussy (kiss) and Olive would call Popeye to handle him. Popeye should’ve told her to handle deez nuts first and then he’d think about it.
The Roommate? Who decided we needed a PG-13 version of Single White Female?
Why is Black Swan only playing at the art house theater? I don’t want to go there. Guess I’ll wait for the Blu-ray.
I hate when people take 20 minutes to tell a 2 minute story. I just want to start waving flags, using hand signals, or playing music like they do at award shows to tell them to wrap it up.
I heard Lloyd’s of London has insured Tiny’s right hand for $100 and a bucket of fried chicken. I need a dumb hoe in my life.
If I don’t want to talk to you on the phone chances are I don’t want to text, IM, or have an e-mail conversation with you either. I mean it’s not like you’re going to talk about something different if we’re not on the phone.
Why does my sister know what apps my mom has on her phone and she hasn’t used it supposedly? My sister doesn’t even have an Android based phone to begin with.
Rich Rod is out and Brady Hoke is in as the University of Michigan’s new football coach. Eh, not really impressed but let’s see what he can do.
It snowed last night. It’s still not the major snowfall I’ve been hoping for but at least the grass can’t be seen.
Some kind of animal was either whining, horny, or I don’t know what near my bedroom window last night. It was so damned annoying. I opened the window so I could try to get a better look but I just couldn’t see it. Occasionally a cat or kitten will fall down the window well under my window and make all kinds of noise until it finally jumps out or someone goes downstairs, opens a window, and grabs it. I swear if I had seen whatever it was I would’ve thrown a bucket of cold water on it just for that sound it made alone. Shut that shit up!
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I went to the grocery store yesterday and people were acting brand spanking new! It was really busy which it isn’t normally when I go which is why I go when I do. People were loading up carts like we were expecting a blizzard instead of 4 inches or so of snow. The parking lot was packed. I can say that unlike other places there was plenty of bread and milk. Now eggs were looking kind of low though. My “buddy” was there. This lady always finds a reason to make conversation with me. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend would hate her because of that friendliness towards me. I was at the U-scan and she helped bag my groceries. I didn’t buy a lot nor am I slow or anything so why she helped me instead of the other three people I couldn’t even tell you. I’m mad they didn’t have the chocolate frosted Krispy Kreme donuts I wanted. Maybe next time.
UPS delivered a package to me by mistake. The addresses were similar but the package was obviously intended for someone down the street. Dropped it off at the leasing office so the lady should get her package whenever she has a chance to get there. It’s funny because they don’t say goodbye to me they say see you later.
I think Ted Williams will be back on drugs or in jail by the end of the year. I don’t understand why everyone is all on his dick right now. His voice? It’s a good voice but since he kind of sounds like Barack Obama and the Rock I can’t really say it’s all that unique. I hope he rides his 15 minutes of fame for all it’s worth and doesn’t fuck it up but c’mon you know he’s going to fuck up. Too many eyes are on him and he’s getting too much too soon.
I can’t bring myself to give a damn about The Game or Real Housewives of Atlanta. I’m in the minority according to Twitter.
People keep insinuating that I have fans. Please tell me who these alleged fans are. I really want to know and think I should have many more fans.
Obligatory announcement for new readers: I absolutely despise lurkers! If you come by often enough that I notice you the least you can do is talk.
Since tax time is coming up I feel that I must remind you that unless your refund is mainly due to credits getting a large refund every year is stupid. You’re letting the government hold on to your money interest free that you could be using throughout the year by taking home more money or investing it. Stop doing that!
You know what I miss? Jello pops and pudding pops. Those were fucking yummy!
No matter how tough you thought your parents were they all hid like some punks when the Jehovah’s Witnesses rolled up. If I knew then what I know now I would’ve used the JWs or at least the threat of them against my mom.
I started watching Animal Hoarders again recently. I’m convinced those people suffer from mental illness. This one lady had so many animals pissing on her floors that people had to be careful where they walked because you’d take a step and fall through the floor. Ugh! Just ugh! I’m so glad we can’t smell shows through out TVs.
The Spartacus prequel starts next week. I can’t wait!
Isn’t Dr. Dre supposed to release Detox soon? I’ve heard a couple of songs so far. They were okay.
I talked about this a while back but based on the moon’s gravitation pull changing Earth’s orbit in relation to the sun, the zodiac sign you’re used to probably isn’t they zodiac sign you really are. I’m sure Twitter horoscope retweeters are on abuzz and on edge learning which good traits they want to claim while ignoring the rest. Anyway if you’re bored, a believer, or even remotely interested based on current star alignments this is what you are:
• Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
• Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
• Pisces: March 11-April 18
• Aries: April 18-May 13
• Taurus: May 13-June 21
• Gemini: June 21-July 20
• Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
• Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
• Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
• Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
• Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
• Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17 *Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year
• Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.