Who is someone you’d like to fix things with?
No one. It’s probably their fault we’re broken so let them fix it.
What’s one thing you’ve learned from a good relationship gone bad?
To appreciate what you have for as long as you have it because more than likely it will change, end, or be taken away from you at any moment. Basically, I’ve learned not to believe in forever or promises of not hurting or being hurt by other people. At the end of the day they will always abandon you and you will be alone.
What’s a happy time you’ve had in the past week?
Can’t really say that I’ve had any happy time(s) in the past week. *shrugs*
Is there anyone you’d like to get closer with?
Someone local, nice to look it, smells good, in possession of a phatty, loves caking, willing to tell me about her sexy panties and send me pics of them, is funny, appreciates me, and actually wants to hang out (in person, in the real world). I don’t know anyone that fits that so currently, I’d say nope.
Are you offended by dumb blonde jokes?
As long as they’re not about me jokes don’t usually offend me and truth be told I kind of like the mean-spirited type of jokes better anyway.
Who do you like to spend your nights with?
Spend the night? Um can’t she go home or sleep in another room? Well, preferably someone who wants her doctor recommended daily dosage of liquid Freaky and has no problem with sleeping in a cool room because me no likey da heat.
Are you an emotional person?
I usually play the heroic stoic role with most people but I feel words and feelings very deeply (more deeply than most people think I’m capable of, know, or give me credit for.) I’m not generally the type to snot up, break down, fall out, and the like (especially in public) but you know what they say about still waters.
Are you self-conscious?
Actually, I am moderately to very self-conscious about a few things.
What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Busting a good nut, laughing until I cry, ice cold lemonade or sweet tea on a hot, summer day, hot cocoa with extra marshmallows or a steaming cup of tea on a cold, snowy, winter day, a good massage, and retail therapy (a.k.a. shopping) can usually make me feel better.
Why did your last crush end?
I think she was starting to catch feelings for me and felt guilty about it or she’s a sociopath. *shrugs*
Do you miss it?
I miss the attention. She seemed like a cool person until she got flaky and lied.
Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
Complicated? No, not me. I’m easy like Sunday morning. I hate conflict, confusion, and chaos in my relationships or around me in general. Librans are peace keepers and we enjoy harmony in all things around us.
Who do you feel most comfortable around?
My family and Val.
Favorite flavor of Vitamin Water?
Flavored, unsweetened water is absolutely disgusting to me and a waste of water and fruit flavoring in my opinion.
Something you’re looking forward to?
Spending some time with my girl in the very near future and getting out-of-town.
What are you not looking forward to?
That beast of a drive and paying for gas.
What are your plans for your next birthday?
Probably alternate between boredom, disappointment, and depression wondering why I have to suffer through yet another Suck Day.
Do you even care about your birthday?
I really shouldn’t and I’m trying not to.
Do you think anyone in general out there loves you?
In general? No, I don’t think I’m very lovable or at least easy to love. I also don’t think or believe people in general care about me. I think a couple of people specifically love me but I could lose a bunch of fingers and still be able to count on the remaining ones how many love me.
Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
Yes, when I had best friends I’ve seen them cry.
When is the next time you will make out with somebody?
When I go to Parts Unknown you can call me Michelangelo because I will be painting insides like a master artist.
Who’s the second person on your missed calls list?
As of late, Val is the only person who calls me. I really need to give out my number more. That and find people I actually want to talk to.
What did the last text message you received on your cell phone say?
Let me be your sexual vampire. I’ll drain that dick morning, noon, and night. Ok, not really. The actual last text I received was, “Morning babe! The cold orange I orally assaulted cried out for you…so I swallowed it! LOL.”
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
No I don’t believe that everything happens for reason. Sometimes shit happens due to chaos, freak accidents, or random occurrence.
What color are the curtains in your room?
No curtains, just blinds. Though whenever I move I do see some blackout curtains in my future. I don’t really care about the color but I’m thinking black or purple.
If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be?
Sallie Mae, that bitch needs to die! I don’t know. Pushing someone off a mountain isn’t my preferred method of assassination but if I could kill someone and get away with it I’d probably do it. The shorter question would be who wouldn’t I push off a mountain.
Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing and what is it?
Pale yellow t-shirt, some discount store, I believe.
Is anything bothering you right now?
Well, I accidentally slept with your aunt and now she’s blackmailing me by demanding sex for her silence. That and I’m stressing about life in general.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heated up in the microwave?
I want to say a sex toy or accessory of some sort but the memory is kind of fuzzy so don’t quote me on it.
Are you a cuddler?
Sometimes, when I’m in the mood.
Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My back is a little achy but nowhere near as bad as it was before going to the doctor.
Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Why yes, yes I have. I don’t generally remain in those types of situations for too long though.
Have you ever seen a zebra?
Yeah, I see biracial people all the time. Oh you meant the animal? Sure, I’ve seen them at the zoo and on TV.
If you could go back and change something, would you?
Hell, yes! I’d give myself some lottery numbers and game results and tell myself to be a biggest manhoe possible.
What does your hair look like right now?
Like it desperately needs to be cut and shaved actually.
Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Will this weekend be a good one?
I seriously doubt it. It’ll probably be boring like the last weekend and the weekend prior.
How did you get the idea for your display name?
I like names that are of a sexual nature, double entendres, or just plain perverse and outrageous. This name was actually my 3rd or 4th choice for a name, if I recall correctly.
Look to your right, what do you see?
A big ass pile of laundry that apparently isn’t going to wash itself. Lazy ass laundry!
Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Instigate? Me?! *gasp* Perish the thought. I don’t instigate trouble. If I did stuff like that I’d tell my blog wife that Ladynay was talking smack and tell Ladynay that AR Gal has a YouTube channel devoted to every stumble and fall she’s ever taken and tell AR Gal that my blog wife said her signature pie was soggy. Oh did I do that? *prints up fliers* Three way dance inside of a steel cage and a pool of peach jello and whipped cream! Get your tickets now! Limited front row seats are still available must be 18+ please. LOL. *runs and hides* Thankfully, I’m not a shit starter. *polishes my halo*
Who do you miss right now?
No one in particular. I miss having real friends that you could interact with without the use of electronics.
Was your last kiss a mistake?
A mistake? Who kisses people by accident?! Negative!
When was the last time you cried ?
Last month at the height of my back pain, probably.
Where is your father right now?
What exactly is my motivation for giving a fuck? I don’t know and I don’t really care.
What is bothering you right now?
Well, your cousin found out about me and your aunt and I’ve been breaking her off too. Now both of them are claiming they might be pregnant with my kids.
Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom mirror?
Only while playing around with my camera. In general I despise bathroom mirror pictures and think they’re tacky as hell. Well unless you’re butt ass naked and sending me some pics but otherwise I’m tired of chicks claiming they’re so cute and posting that trash. If you were nearly as hot as you think you are then you’d have a line of people begging to play photographer for you and surely one of those thirsty bastards can take a good picture before trying to barter some of that ass for services rendered.
Do you use big words?
When the mood suits me or the situation demands it.
Does your head hurt right now?
Yes, your mom sucked a couple of layers of skin off of my dick. Oh wait, we’re talking about two different heads aren’t we? Nah, I’m straight.
Where is your ex right now?
Beats the hell out of me. Living life I assume.
Have you ever injected a drug?
Nah, I don’t get down like that. Hell, I haven’t even tried weed, what the hell do I look like shooting up?
Do you want to be in a relationship?
I’m already in one but thanks for not paying attention.
Have any piercings or tattoos?
I’ve thought about getting both but I have neither piercings nor tattoos.
Do you fight with your parents often?
I don’t see one and the other would have to say no.
Have you ever been in a car accident?
Been in a couple, never my fault, and all relatively minor.
The thing that was bothering you before, is it still bothering you?
yes but only the back of mind is bothered not the front
Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
I don’t know if hate is the right word but I didn’t really like them.
Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Your little sister’s. She swallowed so many of my babies that pro-lifers were picketing outside of her window. Tell her I found her panties in my pocket. *sniffs the crotch* Think I’ll keep them. Thanks!
Do you get good grades?
Depends on the subject and my interest in the class.
Is it hard to fall out of love?
Not when you’re the one to do it first. It’s usually a gradual thing that I’m not even aware of it until it’s done.
What is your mood right now?
Mellow, chill, and pretty neutral I suppose.
What is the last movie you saw?
In theaters, Sucker Punch. At home, Superman/Batman Apocalypse.