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I think I have an idea of what I’m going to do for my 1,000th post.  I’m just going to let the hamster wheels crank and see what I end up doing.

Tumblr won’t let me be great!  Considering how often it’s down or spitting error messages at me I feel like I’m on Twitter Blackplanet.  Come on damn it let me post!

Me:  I’ll give you this bag of cheeseburgers.

Tumblr:  I don’t want no fuckin’ cheeseburgers!

Me:  I…I…I’ll suck your dick.

Don’t send me any e-mails I think I was paraphrasing Menace 2 Society, haven’t seen it in a few years at least.  I hope I’m never that damn desperate for anything to utter that last sentence but if you are, have a fat ass, swallow, and are female then um perhaps we can do business.  Yeah, do business.

I finally told my mom that Val and I are kaput, almost two months after we broke up.  *shrugs*

With that Parts Unknown has dropped a couple of spots in the “Where in the hell will Freaky be living in 2012” game?  It’s still in contention but knowing me, Val and I probably won’t even be talking to each other in 2012.  The distance is already there and it will only continue to grow.  I’ve seen it before and know how the story ends.  It always ends the exact same way chicks say it won’t.  *shrugs*  I’m looking for somewhere where the slutbucket to single, straight men ratio is high.

I feel abandoned and alone.  I figure I might as well make that a reality instead of just a feeling and get to purging…again.  People suck!  I just don’t think I have it in me to keep trying so fuck it, I won’t!  The closest I plan on letting anyone else get to me is when my dick is inside of them.

I started reading Game of Thrones.  It’s pretty good.  I’m over halfway through.  It fills in a lot of details that the show either didn’t have enough time to add in or for whatever reason didn’t.  I can’t fault the show as there is only so much you can put into ten episodes of an hour show (more like 50 minutes but you know what I mean).  One thing I found interesting is that most of the characters are a lot younger in the book than they are on the show.  For instance Daenerys Targaryen (a.k.a the Khaleesi) is 13 when she’s first introduced in the book.  Her husband to be was about 30 or 35.  Chris Hansen would’ve had a field day before he was gutted and decapitated by Khal Drogo.  Jon Snow and Robb Stark are both about 15 years old.  I’m mad we have to wait until next spring for season two.  I wonder if they’ll still call it Game of Thrones after the first book or A Clash of Kings after the second which is presumably what season two will be based on?  Maybe they’ll subtitle it Game of Thrones:  A Clash of Kings.  Who knows?  All I know is winter is coming and we have to wait until it’s over for the next season.  Damn, damn, damn!

Season Four of True Blood started Sunday.  They diverged from the book quite a bit.  Not complaining but it’s just strange.  I also checked out episode two early on HBOGo.  If you have an HBO subscription then download the app on your phone and/or your computer to see Sunday’s episode now.  I enjoyed the action and pacing a lot better for episode two than I did for one.

*****Here there be SPOILERS bitches, argh!!!*****

So episode one begins a little over a year after the season 3 season finale.  Sookie is in Faeryland where she meets up with and still refers to Barry as Barry the Bellboy.  Seriously?!  Does he call you Sookie the waitress/barmaid/vampire liason?  Geez bitch just call him Barry for fuck’s sake!  Anyway, Sookie meets her Faery Godmother and gets the lay of the land (apparently, even male faeries in that circumstance are called Faery Godmothers).  Um, okay.  Soon enough Sookie meets her granddaddy who didn’t even remember her at first.  Why?  Time runs drastically different in Faeryland.  Sookie finds something unsettling about Faeville and soon enough she’s right.  The illuminated fruit people had been passing around were actually rotten, maggot infested apples and the so-called leader is a hideous creature named Mab, an evil faery.  She tries to force Sookie to eat some maggoty goodness but is rebuffed and thrown into a tree when Sookie zaps Mab with her faery powers.  A chase ensues and ultimately becomes an escape.

Sookie has a few tender moments with granddaddy before he apparently dies.  She walks home to discover people at her house boxing things up and moving.  One of the movers calls the police and who shows up but her brother Jason who is now a Sheriff’s deputy.  While Sookie was in Faeryland for only an hour by our time, she had actually been gone for over a year.  Jason and pretty much everyone else in Bon Temps assumed she had been murdered by vampires and during the time Jason sold the house to a mystery company.

Tara has left town and I guess the gay force is strong in that family because like her cousin Lafayette, Tara has decided to play for the home team.  Whatever team she plays for she still won’t get naked when cameras are on for either team.  *sigh*  At least Sookie ain’t too good to show some ass.  Bill did too, if you’re into that sort of thing.  Ahem, where was I?  Tara is now a female cage fighter and has a hot girlfriend who she’s lied to about pretty much everything from her name to her family and everything in between.  Bill is now the Vampire King of Louisianna and Eric’s boss.  Sam did shoot his brother who has been milking his “injury” every chance he gets.  Jessica has a case of wandering eyes err fangs.  Arlene is scared to death of her potentially evil, serial killer progeny baby.  Sheriff Andy Bellefleur’s V addiction has gotten progressively worse.  Jesus has invited Lafayette to join his coven even though magic freaks Lafayette out.  His opinion of the coven doesn’t improve much when the witches resurrect a dead pet.  Jason finds himself in a bad situation and a shit load of trouble yet again.

*****End of True Blood spoilers bitches, argh!*****

I want bought one of those aluminum wallets as seen on TV.  Not really impressed with the opening mechanism.  It just feels kind of flimsy.  That and I apparent carry a lot of shit in my wallet.  I still need to purge some things though but the Aluma wallet is definitely thinner.  Now I just have to fight the urge to get some metallic purple spray paint and have at it.

I don’t get flash mobs.  Well, I understand the concept but I think they’re kind of totally stupid.  Not as dumb as planking (http://en NULL.wikipedia NULL.org/wiki/Lying_down_game), which is silly as fuck but pretty damn stupid nonetheless.

I won another contest on Facebook.  I have no idea what I won but it should be here tomorrow.  I ♥ winning as long as it isn’t some asshole like Charlie Sheen or another asshole dicksucker trying to imitate his played out motto.

Speaking of Facebook they have never suggested anyone who is actually a friend of mine or that I’m personally cool with.  They’ve suggested a few of my sister’s yummy, yummy friends but the rest of the suggestions are of strange and funny looking people I don’t know and would remember as they are um, unique looking to say the least.

Do single chicks who want to cake and fuck use social networks?  Kind of tired of everybody having a man, husband, or some other person that would probably have a problem with me donating fluids to their chick.

So Ron Artest wants to change his name to Metta World Peace?  When I take over hell niggas are going to be forced to have traditional, meaningful, and acceptable names.  Well, unless I really don’t like you then your name will be an epic masterpiece of ratchetness.  In honor of his desired name change, I changed my name over the weekend to Daddy von Huffenpuff.  Too bad I didn’t talk to anyone over the weekend or I would’ve insisted that I be addressed as Daddy or Lord von Huffenpuff.  What?!  In my mind and heart I’m royalty!

Can’t wait to see Transformers 3 even though I absolutely despise how the robots look.

Why do the spammers always visit the same post from almost five years ago?

So how was your weekend?  Do anything special or the same old, same old?