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I’ve been trying to see the latest Transformers movie since Tuesday night but almost every single time I attempted to go something conspired to piss in my face and say it’s just rain.  I usually do the matinées and even with a 3D showing I don’t generally spend more than $8-$8.50 on admission.  I feel sorry for those of you who have to or that do.  Anyway, the early shows weren’t an option.  I seriously had a couple of cheap attacks thinking about the evening/late night prices and figured if I was going to be spending that much I might as well go see it in IMAX 3D to maximize my geekgasm.  Looked up the theaters with IMAX screens that I know of and nada!  Now if I wanted to see Cars 2 in IMAX 3D then I was good to go but Transformers: Dark of the Moon?  Shit out of luck!  Part of me was like fuck it, I don’t even want to see it but that was just the disappointment talking.  I finally went to see Transformers: Dark of the Moon yesterday.

Synopsis:  The interstellar war between the Autobots and Decepticons shifts into overdrive following the discovery of Sentinel Prime (voice of Leonard Nimoy) in this sequel from director Michael Bay. Only a precious handful of officials in the government and military realize that the 1969 moon mission was the result of an event that threatened profound repercussions for the entire human race. When the Apollo 11 astronauts discover the wrecked remains of Sentinel Prime on the surface of our natural satellite, they bring him back to planet Earth. But Sentinel Prime wasn’t the only alien object on the moon, and when a malevolent new enemy makes its presence known, only the Autobots can save humankind from certain destruction. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi

The Good:  The new version of my old high school is in the background of one of the fights (definitely got a smile out of me).  Two of my favorite Decepticons, Soundwave and Shockwave.  Ken Jeong as Jerry Wang was hilarious.  The betrayal and reveal of the movie’s real, big bad.  Wheelie, Brains, Wheeljack, Optimus, and Bumblebee.  Humans being killed by Decepticons.  The 3D action sequences in general and the final fight specifically.

The Bad:  Is it really too much to introduce a character by having another character bring up his name in conversation?  Improper/lazy intros are one of my pet peeves!   It’s hard enough figuring out which robot is which and Michael Bay and his writers can’t at least help us out with a name?  Fuck!  I have a confession.  I’ve always hated the robot modes of the Transformers and how they transform.  Working it out in my head, the transformations seem overly complicated, impractical, and as if they wouldn’t even work in the real world which kind of takes me out of the fantasy.  Shia LeBeouf’s screaming and ordering everyone around got grating really quick.  Seriously?  Someone should’ve smacked him and told him to sit down.  I haven’t seen acting so wooden from the chick that played his new girlfriend since that kid who played Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace.  Too much time spent on the humans.  They did Ironhide wrong as hell!  Decepticons being killed by filthy little humans.  The lack of screen time for some characters.  Whatever that tentacled thing that worked with Shockwave was. Megatron not killing Carly after telling him he was Sentinel Prime’s bitch.

The Miscellaneous:  There’s one bonus scene during the beginning of the credits.  In limited venues mainly San Antonio, TX and Honolulu, HI you can see a 3D video by Linkin Park performing one of the movie’s songs after the end credits.  The kid in front of us kept asking questions through the whole movie.  It’s okay to tell your kid(s) or anyone you’re with to shut the fuck up and just watch the movie.  Better yet keep them at home until they have mastered how to sit through a movie without talking.  Considering how low Michael Bay set expectations with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, it’s not hard to believe that Dark of the Moon would be better but it really is.  The middle of the movie could’ve had more 3D stuff in it but I’d recommend you to see it and spend the money for 3D.  I think this movie really should’ve been rated R instead of PG-13.  PG-13 movies in general, not just PG-13 horror movies, are starting to piss me off.  I can see several places that they toned down to keep that rating.  It’s a 2.5+ hour movie but doesn’t feel like it.  Best popcorn movie I’ve seen so far this year.  I can’t wait for yet another Target exclusive transforming Transformers DVD case later this year.  My letter grade is a B+.