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Can you be friends (http://freakytopia NULL.net/2006/06/07/friends-lovers/) with someone whom you have little in common with and don’t really relate to?  I suppose the having little in common with part might not be so mad as long as you have a strong bond over what you do have in common.  I’m just not too sure about the don’t relate to part.  More specifically, I want and need my friends to be able to relate to me.  What’s the purpose of having a friend that doesn’t understand you?  Kind of sounds like an associate to me but I digress.  There are plenty of people I have little in common with and don’t relate to.  I think I need some commonality for those I let into my inner sanctum.  Which is why I’ve never really had a lot of friends.  I don’t think everyone is deserving of my friendship and if you’re the type who is friends with everybody I just can’t see myself wanting to be your friend because you obviously don’t value it as much as I do if you just let any and everyone be your friend.  What?!  I have elitist leanings.  I’ve never denied it and I’m okay with it.  We don’t have to be 100% simpatico but I don’t want to end every conversation with, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”   I hate ending serious conversations like that.  I just don’t like things being left unsaid and open-ended.  It’s not harmonic.  I also don’t want a polar opposite because, well, I’ve been there, done that, and it just doesn’t work for me.  At the end of the day, if I have any doubts that you’re in my corner then I can’t see us working.

I really wish women came with those “I want you” chairs like they have on The Voice. It would make things a lot simpler for everyone involved. I’m kind of tired trying to figure out how people feel, what they’re thinking, and what they want. I’ll be the first to admit that I have trust issues and will throw up walls, pull up the drawbridge, and summon the archers but I’m sick of feeling like I have to be on my guard with everyone because they act questionably and/or I don’t know or trust their intentions. I just want to be able to truly be myself at all times, good, bad, or otherwise, and trust that she still respects and loves me and won’t be scared away. I swear if I had hair some woman would frustrate me enough to pull it out. I’m just going to start acting brand new with everybody. For now on if you don’t tell me and tell me on the regular then I don’t know it.

I had a discussion with Val recently. Apparently there is a pretty significant disagreement concerning who dumped whom. I’m going with my version. I suck at giving specific dates but most times I can remember conversations almost verbatim. It does lead me to wonder how exactly do you forget how you dumped someone less than a year ago?  Maybe that should tell me something.  Whatever.  I just don’t understand and maybe it’s not meant for me to understand.  Part of me really has a problem with that last statement but I do know that sometimes you just have tap out and take the L to prevent further damage.

I’m getting kind of tired of pretty much every chick I’ve been dealing with.  I’m tired of waiting for things to change when they Seems like they’re all on some bullshit and my desire to fuck any of them is significantly less then the effort I’d have to expend to get into their panties.   Of course, if I’m not going to get into their panties and they won’t hook me up with any of their friends then I really don’t have much desire to know them on any level of importance.

Chicks nowadays are nosy as fuck.   I’ve been buying stuff lately and people keep asking me who I plan on using the stuff with.  *shrugs* Really?!  How is that any of your concern?   Do we talk about who you’re fucking and how you get down?   You’re not volunteering that information with me so why should I share that with you?   I don’t have a problem discussing that stuff but if we’re not sharing the freaky parts of our lives then don’t ask me about other chicks because it seems like some of you are more interested in who I hoecialize with than me.  I’m not trying to help you find any pussy so kindly get the fuck on with that bullshit please, especially when you’re hoecializing with all sorts of random peen.  If you’re going to ask me that kind of shit the least you can do is phone bone me first or something. The nerve of people!

I was seriously considering asking a lady friend for some sort of exclusive (or mostly exclusive) relationship.  It would cut down on all this single guy/dating bullshit that I can’t stand but alas, she’s a bit too busy for my liking and I’m not going to beg or battle for attention that should rightfully be mine anyway.  We don’t seem to be able to get rid of each other but she has bad taste in dudes and I don’t want to be a mistake.  Well, I don’t want to be her mistake.  There’s a couple of chicks I wouldn’t mind being a dirty regret but that’s neither here nor there.  Anyway, being single is for the birds and I’m not liking it.  

Some of these problems could probably be solved by picking up the phone and having a long, open conversation with several people.  I’m just tired of being the only one who seems to give a damn and trying to find some harmony so I’m not going to.  *shrugs*  Worse comes to worse we’ll just fall out or drift away and it will no longer be a problem.  It’ll just be less addresses and numbers to remember and less people to take me for granted and neglect me when I move.  

I’m tired of intense, emotional conversations in general. I’m especially tired of them when there’s no improvement or closure to the situation.