Humpday happenings

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Just got back from my mom’s retirement luncheon.  She was actually late to it.  She’s using up some banked time she has tomorrow so Friday will be her last day.  I hope she doesn’t snot up at her retirement party.  Or I’ll have to throw something at her.  Met some of my mom’s co-workers.  One of them was kind of hot.  I’m kind of sad that one I was looking forward to seeing wasn’t there.  She’s definitely leer worthy.  Maybe I’ll take her to see The Hunger Games tomorrow.  I think I may actually come out of pocket and buy the trilogy for my Kindle Fire.  Last time I checked they were available for under $20, unless someone wants to donate them to me.  What?!  Times are harder than my dick with a thong covered ass smothering my face and gas is $4 a gallon… again.  Me licky licky if you get it.  I’ll probably get it so I have something to read during any slow times while I’m looking for a place next month.  I’m almost ready to break out the 2012 Waka Flocka Flame remix version of my happy dance.  You ain’t ready for it though!  

I haven’t flirted with anyone in awhile.  Well, not in a way I find interesting and enjoyable mostly because I was either bored or it amused me.  I kind of miss it.  I want to be flirted with.  I need my cake time with a big booty cutie.  

I’ve been looking at places that allow dogs and most of them seem to restrict every breed I want either by name or by weight.  I don’t want a dog that weighs less than 20 lbs.  Also I’m not sure what’s left that’s a decent size and temperament after all the breeds they’ve restricted people from having.  They don’t even want dogs with any percentage mix of a banned breed.  I guess Pit Bulls, Akitas, Chows, German Shepherds, Rottweilers, etc. are the niggers of the dog world.  What the fuck is left for me to have?

I still don’t know what the fuck >>>>> means.  

I wish these people send my damn Battle Royale blu-ray.  If it’s not ready to ship by Friday then they need to refund my money and cancel the order.  I could’ve walked to wherever and back by now with it slow ass motherfuckers.  

Why do supposedly heterosexual chicks care so much about impressing other women and getting compliments from them?  Seriously, I can give a compliment and a chick can give the same compliment and while I just get a thanks the female gets gushed all over, retweeted, a status update, and a blog post over the exact same compliment.  Seriously?   I don’t know if it’s just because it’s overboard or tinged with bicuriousness that annoys me so much.  If you knew the things you say about each other then compliments would be the last thing you’d ever give.  Sometimes I want to scream, “get a room” or “get off her clit unless you let me watch!”

After seeing the reports of “pink slime (http://news NULL.html)” I knew there was a reason why I didn’t like ground beef from Kroger.  Well that and the fact that I got sick after eating it a couple of times.

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I feel funny about calling chicks who have men, especially, if that man is live-in, or he’s over often.  I already have anxieties about calling people and initiating conversations in the first place but the potential for awkwardness is just too high when calling them.  It’s not like I expect them to pick up the phone while they’re getting piped down.  Then again I’ve actually had people pick up while that was happening so maybe part of me is a bit weary of that.  I guess what concerns me the most is women who don’t control their phones and for whatever reason your friend, man, or whoever, answers the phone and wants to play 20 questions.  I’ve had that happen too and it doesn’t go well.  I think if there’s any potential justification for me not to call then I will use it and not call.  Can’t say it’s a new thing because now that I think about it when most women I know get serious about someone I fall back and disappear.

So we went from record breaking high temperatures last week to frost warnings this weeks.  Now they’re saying we’re going back up to the 70s next week.  For the love of Sweet Baby Jebus’ chubby little thighs please pick a season, any season, and stay there for at least several weeks or a month!  This shit is ridiculous!

I didn’t win the Mega Millions jackpot. *sigh* But no one else did either so now it’s up to about 500 million dollars.  Oh the things I could do with half a billion dollars!  You haven’t seen the type of fuckery I have in mind.  Guess that means I’ll still be around and won’t come down with a convenient case of amnesia.  Also means I don’t have to make that appointment to get a vasectomy, yet.  I don’t normally play the lottery a lot but when it’s that high I figure what’s the harm in chipping in a couple of bucks?  I also played some scratch offs.  I won $4 on a $1 ticket.  I won’t be able to staff my mansion with exotic, nude women with that but a win is a win is a win.  I guess my official “I’m rich bitch, wanna fuck?” tour will be put on hold until the next mega jackpot.

I don’t have a lot of hope for George Zimmerman getting convicted of murdering Trayvon Martin.  As I understand the law all Mr. Zimmerman had to do is basically be afraid and think his life was in danger.  When you’re a paranoid racist being afraid of young, black males wearing hoodies and carrying a bottle of iced tea and package of Skittles is kind of par for the course.  Change that “stand your ground” law and hopefully the next person will think before taking someone’s life.

I can now say that I’m officially addicted to the game Temple Run.  I wish Amazon’s Appstore had it so I could play it on an even larger screen.  Funny thing is Angry Birds Space has been out for a minute and I haven’t even attempted to download it.  I think the birds are a bit overexposed at the moment.  

I had Michigan State winning the NCAA tournament.  Now that they’re out so goes my interest with the tourney.  Of the teams remaining I hope Ohio State takes it all!  

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.