Random Christmasy thoughts

Christmas is nine days away.  I can’t really say that I’m in the Christmas spirit.  Something about the lack of snow is always going to make that hard for me.  Maybe next year I’ll brave the horrors of holiday travel and go somewhere with some snow.  Who knows?  I may come down with a cheap attack and change my mind.  I’m kind of mad Detroit got hit with about a half foot of snow this weekend.  I wish we’d get some of that.  I’m just tired of cold and rain.  Hell, I’d settle for some ice right about now but I’m fucking sick of rain!  Maybe I should reconsider that because I don’t look forward to walking the dog in ice.  On the positive side though, I’d finally get a chance to use those slip on ice cleats or whatever they’re called.

Ordered a new Christmas tree and put it up last week.  My mom suggested putting up the old tree for one more year and I said I’d rather not put up a tree if that’s going to be the case.  It was kind of sorry looking last year and it’s well past time to retire it.  I’m kind of disappointed I didn’t get a black tree but maybe next time.  Now getting new ornaments is going to be an expensive undertaking.  My mom said that some of the ornaments are at least as old as I am.  Some of them are looking as old as I am.  Not all of them fit the color scheme which is purple and silver.  I figure I’ll add in some new ornaments each year and phase out most of the older ones that are showing their age.  The tree is pretty even if it is lacking in purple garland.  I’m not about to take down all those ornaments to put it up so next year it will be.  LOL.

As of this weekend I’m pretty much done with Christmas shopping.  Well, everyone I planned on getting something for has been accounted for.  I even got Cinnamon some new toys.  I think I might want to look into getting her a sweater, a mesh harness, and possibly some boots but unless I hear of some great deals soon I’ll just wait until after Christmas.  I haven’t really gotten anything for myself yet.  Well, technically I bought a couple of books but I don’t think I’ll wait until Christmas to start either.  Not really sure why I’m procrastinating on shopping for myself.  Hopefully, I’ll decide on something and order it today.  Maybe I’ll get it in time for Christmas and maybe not.  *shrugs*

Now if only I could find a Santa hat with my name on it.  A purple Santa hat would be boss ass!

Those Elf on the Shelf dolls are creepy as fuck!  Seriously, they look like they take notes of you while having sex and reports it the N.S.A. all the while judging you with that arrogant smirk on their faces.  They remind me of some creepy ass mammy voodoo looking doll my mom had when we were growing up.  Now if I had kids I’d replace the elf with a Chucky doll and let the hilarious hi-jinks begin.

It’s kind of a shame that Krampus doesn’t get more play here.  I guess the same Jesus freaks that get pissed off at people saying happy holidays instead of merry Christmas would have a cow.  I’ve seen more references to him this year then pretty much ever so maybe there’s hope.

What is it with little White kids wanting a damn hippopotamus in their Christmas songs?  I’ve been listening to the local station that switches over to Christmas songs this time of year and I’ve heard about three different songs with kids wanting one.  All I want for Christmas is snow, pizza, to leave copious amounts of my DNA in a woman’s womb, some gadgets, and for her to slip me some money afterwards.  Fuck a damn hippo!

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and Frosty the snowman should always be shown back to back.

Peppermint bark smells as good as it tastes.  It’s yummy!  Cinnamon damn near tried to jump in my mouth to get some.  Too bad she can’t have chocolate.  Not really, just means more for me.

Last Christmas by Wham is my holiday song!  I could listen to that forever.  I’m pissed they let those homogenized bastards of Glee do a cover. I’d rather hear a Kidz Bop version.  I refuse to Google to see if there actually is a Kidz Bop version of it.  I don’t want to know because I refuse to live in a world where everybody and their non talented kids and blaspheme my song.

Author: Freaky Deaky I'm a horny, opinionated, smart-ass, antisocial, introverted, misanthropic, agnostic, nonconformist, free thinking, hedonistic, highly intelligent, and arrogant black man with a dirty mind.