Long time no see, huh?! I always say I’m going to blog more and don’t, so I’m not going to say that I will.  I’ve been looking for a new laptop forever and a day partially because I don’t really like blogging from my phone even though I can and have done so. I wanted to get something that would last me awhile so as my best friend A would say I drank the Kool-Aid and threw my lot in with the fruit cult. Got me a MacBook Pro. It’s overkill for what I need but it’s been a minute since I did something nice for myself and I think I deserve nice things. I also think I deserve a sugar mama but the laptop was more easily available and didn’t require me to talk to anyone. 🙂 I’m still looking for a big booty woman with plenty of disposable income whose love language is to spoil me. What?! Just trying to speak it into existence.  LOL.

I bought a gun awhile back. I’m debating if I want to get my conceal carry. Having difficulty finding a nearby range to get some practice. Prefer indoors but the ones being recommended to me are usually outdoors and in the middle of nowhere. Also not looking forward to the 8 hour class I have to take as well. I haven’t been a morning person since I was a kid and the thought of sacrificing sleep on a Saturday to do it *eyeroll* doesn’t excite me at all.

My mom’s best friend passed away last year.  Guess who got high for the first time the night before her funeral? I was still feeling it during the funeral. Maybe that’s why it’s the only one I’ve been to that I didn’t cry. I always swear the last funeral is the last funeral I’m going to attend but it never seems to work out. I’ve always been somewhat anti drugs but those edibles… damn! The first one didn’t really do much for me.  Not sure if I didn’t take enough, didn’t wait long enough, or what but the second one understood the fucking assignment! Whooooo! Wasn’t sure what being high was going to feel like but I’m pretty sure I hallucinated. I saw colors in the dark and heard music where the only sound was a fan. I felt so light that I could float. Almost like I could have had an out of body experience if I remembered all the shit I used to read about astral projection. LOL. I bet Val would be shocked since I always refused her offers to get high. In my defense, if she had edibles and wore thongs I might have given it a shot. Maybe. Definitely wouldn’t be the weirdest thing a woman has offered me along with a good time. Maybe I’ll blog about that one day but it won’t be today. I still think smoking weed is kind of gross mainly because it smells like hot, moist skunk ass to me but I’ll fuck with some edibles. Kind of want to try mushrooms but Ive heard they literally taste like shit so I think I’ll pass for now.

Speaking of Val, we haven’t spoken in… I think about two years. She was under a lot of stress both personal and job related during Covid and basically said she needed break but to check on her from time to time. Of course, I respected her wishes and gave her space. The isolation from her kind of bothered me during the Covid times but everybody had to deal with it however they could I guess. Covid ramped down and finally “ended” and things between us never really returned to how they were. I wasn’t trying to be a pest because I’d be kind of irked if I said I needed some time and someone kept trying to force themself into my space. My “therapist” at the time encouraged me to finally reach out to her so I did. We met up and things were just off. She later tells me that she’s seeing someone. Like an RKO out of nowhere (Google it if you’re not a wrestling fan). What hurt the most was that long ago we agreed to for lack of a better word to give each other a heads up if we decided to get involved with anyone else. She said she wanted to be respectful of her relationship and I said we shouldn’t be friends (because well I know me). I never read whatever her response was and that was it.

Haven’t really told anyone because apparently I’m back on my antisocial, recluse, hermit shit again but my mom is in the hospital. Tomorrow will be two weeks. She thinks they’ll discharge her tomorrow or Friday. *fingers crossed* Over the years I’ve developed a phobia of hospitals. In addition to that I hate hospitals and don’t really care for doctors. So of course, the past couple of weeks have been a version of hell for me. If my sister didn’t come down here for that I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it. Even with her here, I barely held it together. Between the lack of sleep (because I never sleep well or long before a doctor’s appointment), having to be at the hospital at the ass crack of dawn, and having to stay during and until the procedure is over I was an anxious, stressed out mess. I was given an edible and being in the hospital totally ruined my high and made me feel even more tired. We stayed with her for a few hours after the surgery and my sister took me home because had I tried to drive I’d probably end up right back at the hospital.