Why is it more offensive to call someone an asshole than an ass? You’re only being more specific.
Why are they called trailers when they appear before the film? What exactly are they trailing?
Why are they called boy shorts if they’re worn by chicks? They don’t look like anything I’ve seen any sugar-free males wearing.
Why is one of my default text messages/quick notes, “What is your number?” If I’m sending you text messages don’t I already have your number?
Why do they make scented bug spray? Does whatever creepy crawly I’m trying to assassinate really need to smell good in the afterlife?
Why does this fly keep fucking with me? Does it not know that eventually I’m going to thunderclap that dumb bastard out of existence?
Why do gay and lesbian bloggers gravitate so much towards allegedly straight women? Do they know something I don’t?
Why is it lurkers, people with private blogs, and people who allegedly don’t even have blogs, are always the first ones with their hands out begging for access to restricted entries? If I can’t read yours then why do you think you’re entitled to read mine?
Why don’t dudes encourage more males to comment on their blogs? Well, I actually kind of know that answer so never mind.
Why is no one fucking blogging around here? It’s boring as fuck!
Why do some bloggers only come around when they have a new post up? Why don’t they just come by and say, “I don’t care about what you posted I just want you and your readers to check out my new post”? Well besides the fact that I’d probably delete the post and ban them. At least I’d have some respect for the shiftless, insincere motherfuckers.
Why am I tempted to ask people who they don’t read so I can actually find some blogs without the same damn bloggers commenting? God damn! Motherfuckers have a million and one people on their blogrolls and they still have time to be nosying around and exploring the deepest recesses of blogdom to comment. *sigh*
Why does Googlebot crawl my blog so often? I should charge rent as often as it’s here. Maybe I wouldn’t mind if I ever showed up in a search result or it actually brought me some traffic.
Why does the majority of chicks I find even remotely interesting live so fucking far away from me?
Why are the local chicks on so much bullshit and act like they’re afraid to come out and play?
Why are ugly people online always so worried about people stealing their pictures? Are they worried that the rare tribe of demon shit monkey they were stolen from will find them and demand they be returned?
Why do most chicks seem to get the same five or six tattoos?
Why do fat chicks always seem to want either muscle bound meat heads or someone skinnier than Snoop Dogg’s shadow? Big dudes need love too. I love numbers divisible by five but I don’t need to look like a 10 every time I go out. *smirk* Why do you? I’ll let some of you slower people marinate on my sarcasm for a minute. It’ll come to you. Although the fact that it’s taking you this long makes me lose some respect for you. Seriously.
Why can’t women put on eye shadow in a way that doesn’t make me check my calendar for the circus, Halloween, or the WWE being in town?
Why is it so fucking difficult to find a woman who lies somewhere in the happy medium between not wearing any makeup at all and wearing too damn much of it?
Why do I always want what I can’t have?
Why don’t I want what I can have?
Why will at least one person reading this think this is about her? Actually I’m sure it’s more than one but I’m going to pretend like I’m actually being humble. *smirk*
Why didn’t Flavor Flav shave his head sooner?
Why does Brett Michaels wear that damn bandanna all the time? Why doesn’t he get hair plugs, a lace front wig, or shave it all off?
Why did people think rat tails were a good look back in the day?
Why do people that talk about nothing seem to get the most blog comments? Maybe I should talk about nothing too.
Why do I honestly believe I could blog about something as simple-minded and trite as taking a shit and break my record comment count?
Why am I actually considering proving my point?
Why am I thinking about changing things up here just to see how long it will take me to lose my most loyal readers?
Why do people keep you on their blogroll when they stopped visiting long ago?
Why do I have such destructive thoughts when I’m bored?
Why do people act like they’re terrified of me? Do I come off that mean?
Why do I want some disciples and a stable of big booty blog bitches?
Why do you think I’m joking?
Why are there so many Adolph Hitler Miis on Nintendo’s Mii Channel?
Why is it taking so fucking long for this download to complete?
Why do rappers make videos bragging about stealing another rapper’s chain?
Why is at least one dumbass going to answer ever last one of these questions? Rhetorical questions, look it up.
Why is someone going to try to get around being called a dumbass by answering every question but one or two? You’re still a dumbass!
Why am I so fucking grouchy?
Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmm……
It’s two days later. Are you in better spirits now? If not, tell Tantrum to come and give you a hug, then call Val and tell her to have phone sex with you so you can knock out some knuckle bust-it babies real quick. =p~=p~
Not as grouchy. Then again it’s not as hot and I’ve managed to stay away from most people. I spent some time with my furbaby, went to the movies, and got some quality phone boning with Val. :d I’m okay until I get grouchy and irritated again.
Dang. I’m all late.
I notice a couple of people who comment only when they have a new post up.
I’m wondering how you would change up things that could make you lose your loyal readers.
It’s hot as fish grease and people are grouchy. Come here and let me give you a hug.
Mmm hmm. I feel all neglected. 🙁
They remind of people who only call you when they’re broke and need some money or horny and need some ass. They are contemptible. l-)
Read above comment for how I could alienate them.
Oh yeah! Gimme my hug!
Those are some pretty good whys…I’ve certainly wondered about a few myself.
Why would you want to lose your most loyal readers??? That’s my why for tonight…
I think you should prove your point, lol…see if you can break that comment record. 😮
Are you so grouchy cuz it’s hotter than satan’s ass??? That’s why I’m grouchy this week. /:)
I’m bored and I do destructive shit when I’m bored. I kind of like chaos so shaking up the status quo would temporarily alleviate my boredom and make things more interesting. I’m also thinking it may be time to go ghost for a few months and start up the fifth version of my blog.
I could focus on only a specific asset of my life. I could write from a different voice. I could just use the blog to finally start writing some of my fiction.
I might but if I do prove my point I’m almost certain that post will be my penultimate one.
The heat is probably partially responsible but it’s more than that.
I’m going to think about all your whys and get back to them tomorrow.
Take care,
You know tomorrow is now today and today is running out? :))
Thanks. You too.
Well at least I can say I’ve attempted to post and respond to your blog several times but kept getting an error message. Was that cyber world’s way of telling me that my post wasn’t worth reading? 😕
I’m sorry to hear that. If it happens again and you feel like it then hit me up through the contact link with the error message and I’ll see what I can do about it.
Damn! I was gonna answer all of these for ya, but damn! I ain’t got that kinda time! Maybe if it had been half as long I might have been that dumbass. But I ain’t got that kinda patience. Although I am enough of an asshole to do it anyway…
“Why do fat chicks always seem to want either muscle bound meat heads or someone skinnier than Snoop Dogg’s shadow? Big dudes need love too. I love numbers divisible by five but I don’t need to look like a 10 every time I go out. *smirk* Why do you? …”
I am with you 0’s unite!!!! Fat fuckin’ is athletic and shit anyway!!! Like Twister!
I usually expect one person to answer all of the questions or attempt to anyway. Everyone else sees that it’s either already been done (and it loses it’s humor after it’s done once) or that it would take too much time. Gotta love long posts. Although it only looks long. In terms of length I don’t think it even cracks my top 300.
=)) @ Fat fuckin’ is athletic and shit anyway!!! Like Twister!
Why ask why? Why do I get irritated so easily? Why do people do stupid shit, like come to a place right before they fucking close like 9:59? I could ask alot of whys but we would be here all day and all night.
Because asking leads to answers, answers lead to knowledge, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe! What?!
I’ve learned to never underestimate the power or depths of people’s stupidity. Few things surprise except for how unbelievably fucking stupid people can be.
Maybe they just want to stalk you at work one last time before you shut it down. 🙂 Let me know where you’re at and I’ll drop by at 9:59:58. :))
King of Memes, you been tagged! You know where to find me after midnight!!!
Be back to comment after I finish the dang thing myself!
Just don’t let it be a boring ass book meme or we’ll have blog beef. b-(
Suga free males? =)) That was 3 kinds of funny!!!
I’m a big girl but I surely don’t want no skinny ass dude. That muthafucka couldn’t keep up with my ass. And then muscle heads always want to work out and shit…not always feeling that shit either. I need a big teddy bear myself, but just like you, they are either on some fucking bullshit or just fucking far!!!
I have a million and one different one liners. :))
I knew there was a reason I liked you. Well besides those rumors I heard from Roc-Roc and them. 😉 Let me stop playing.
i’ont know. WHY are you so fuckn grouchy, buttercup? :-??
i’ve often wondered the same thing about that same “quick note” in my cellphone. hmmm…?
the why of the why of the whys! i love it. reminds me of my i.t.t. posts. and itsn’t it funny how some people WILL actually answer (or attempt to answer) the ?uestions for you??!! =))
some people are actually scared of you??!! wow. that’s interesting. oh well!
i hope you’re in a better mood tomorrow. or even by now.
peace! love!
I don’t know. Maybe it’s my man period or something. Sometimes people and things just irritate me a lot more than usual. Maybe it’s that time of year for me. :-?? Um buttercup? :-
You have to give new people the benefit of the doubt. I have seen some of these type posts where the blogger actually wanted answers. I’ll kill myself before I try to respond to all of the responses to my questions 10-15 times.
Apparently, my blogging style is brash, aggressive, and somewhat hostile. Well that’s what I’ve been told anyway.
I don’t know. People are still getting on my nerves so I’m trying to stay away from most of them.
Yeah I came back to comment, but I am going to work after this! LOL
When you spray bug spray the smell makes it’s way around the room anyway so better to spray a nicer scent or unscented if you have to spray. Which reminds me, the ants have not been around the house lately…YAY!
Why I didn’t see the Flavor Flav question till just now?
Maybe I should add a why did Ladynay dis me question. :((
Yeah, but I think you’re supposed to spray in a well ventilated room anyway. It smells nasty and I’m not trying to inhale it anyway. If I spray something, in an effort to kill it, I want it to die in agony not smelling fresh and clean. Scented bug spray is kind of like loading a gun with talking bullets that apologize before splitting someone’s wig. I’m sure it made sense to someone at sometime but I still think it’s kind of dumb.
You were too busy googling his picture and drooling over him would be my guess. :d
Hmm now let me see if I can recall the answers to the one’s I had answers too….
The scent in bug spray is for the human’s not the bugs. Some bug sprays stink and you don’t want to smell that. YUCK!
If a blogger is away from the computer for a bit, thier updated post a cn comment will fall on the same day. They may not be advertising.
Wanting what you can’t have is a challenge and most people can’t resist a challenge. If you have it, the challenge is gone.
You asked so many questions that could apply to folks so there are probably a few females (since you don’t like males) that think your talking about them.
But I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be inhaling bug spray like that regardless of the smell. If they kill bugs I’m willing to bet it’s not good to have a lot of it in your lungs and blood supply.
I meant a specific type of blogger who say doesn’t update frequently. For instance, a blogger who posts four or five times a month. The blogger hasn’t visited or commented since they last posted. This same blogger probably won’t post again until late next week and he/she never comments on blogs unless and until they have posted on theirs. Essentially the only reason they comment is to advertise there own blog.
I can see what you’re talking about. I don’t think I like challenges, especially when that challenge comes in the form of a person. I hate when chicks say they like me because I’m a challenge. If you want a challenge get a Rubick’s cube and call it a day. You are right though. Once I have what I can’t have I don’t generally want it. 🙁 Still I think there is something to be said about dependability, predictability, and lack of challenge.
I suppose. Then again since I don’t get subtlety so people could be referring to me and I never would’ve noticed it. Sometimes the things I say aren’t even directed to anyone reading it. I just need to say it.
Oh boy…..Leaving a comment on this one is like walking through a field loaded with landmines. :-ss
Sorry you’re in a grouchy mood! Hope you cheer up soon. (I’m gonna leave my comment at that…because YES….you DO scare me!) #:-s
No it’s not. Think of it as preparation for Fuck it Friday! This is kind of light compared to a FiF post. :d Although I will admit when I started this post I didn’t expect it to take the tone it eventually did. Then again I tend to write what and how I feel. I’m bored, irritated, and grouchy. I’m also naturally sarcastic.
Take the post with a grain of salt as even in some of the harsher things there’s a bit of sarcasm.
My grouchiness seems to increase with my age and the temperature. I already know I’m going to be the cantankerous old man screaming at the youngins to get off of my grass.
Think of me as a grizzly bear on the outside and a teddy bear on the inside. A horny, perverted, antisocial teddy bear but a teddy bear nonetheless.
You got a lot on your mind, Freaky!
And I won’t be the one to answer all of THOSE questions!
I for one am glad for the fresh floral scented roach spray. Deodorize and kill at the same time! What a grand idea!! LOL!!
My mind seems to rarely be at rest these days. 🙁
I guess but it still smells like bug spray with a fresh, floral scent to me. Why not just kill them with Febreeze or air freshener? :))