5ive tattoos I never want to see again:
1. Butterflies
2. Lips
3. Strawberries
4. Eyes
5. Tongues
5ive porno versions of Samuel L. Jackson film titles:
1. Pulp Friction
2. Black Snake Moan (didn’t even have to change that one but if I did…) Black Snake Bone
3. One-Eyed Snakes on a Plane
4. Formula 69
5. Deep Blue Semen
5ive rejected titles of Dr. Suess books:
1. The Cat in the Hat is in Heat
2. Cindy Lou Who can Suck it too
3. Little Laddie, I am NOT your Daddy!
4. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
5. The Grinch’s 12 inches
5ive books I’d like to write:
1. Freaky Deaky’s Guide to Life.
2. How to Raise your Kids the Freaky Deaky Way
3. Father Flanigan’s Boy’s Club
4. Manhoeing for Dummies
5. The Art of Hoebedience (Make her act right)
5ive Olympic events I want to see & judge:
1. Lapdancing (individual, doubles, team, & synchronized, motherfuckers!)
2. Oil wrestling (single, tag, and six-man [well six-woman])
3. Ass (I shouldn’t have to say anymore. Bouncing, clapping, cracking open walnuts, etc.)
4. Dick sucking (bring your throat game and swallow for the gold, damn it!)
5. Stripping
What are your 5ives? Do you have a list 5ive you’d like me to do? It can be serious, funny, just plain weird, or whatever. Let me know and maybe I’ll do it in the future. Have a good, safe, and fun weekend.
Suck for the gold, I love it!
It’s almost on par with my trademark, “suck a dick, save a life” mantra
Sucking dick is murder. Fortunately, I 😡 chicks that murder my babies. What?!
ok… why do i want to be a judge at your olympics! lol
Because my Olympics are the shit! =))
You know I can’t stand you right?! =))
I don’t think there’s much anyone could add to this list. lol
You know the feelings mutual after watching that video you posted. I feel like my ears and my life were both raped without the benefit of dinner and a movie before hand. 🙁 x(
Man, I found that video last night and was just DONE! I found it on some gossip blog (can’t remember which one) and saw that she has a myspace page with all her “music”. I think her name is Madison or something like that. I didn’t even bother listening to her other fine works of art. That one was more than enough. lol
I don’t know what disturbs me more the fact that you posted it to share or the fact that I listened to the whole damn thing and I can’t even stand Lil Codeine Gremlin. :((
Gotto love this title: 4. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
Hmm….imagination running wild…thinking of a specific co-worker……. Yea, this would be a great book! :d
Wait until the baby is born before immersing yourself in thoughts of killing co-worker. :))
haha @ ur dr seuss titles
ima need for u to not be involved in any olympic committee
The Olympics need me. My new sports would generate record website hits and ratings. Not to mention all the sponsors they can add like Brawny, Vaseline, etc.
Where can I buy The Grinch’s 12 inches? Does it have pictures…colored, up close and personal pictures? ROFL!
Have a good weekend Mr. Deaky!
That’s probably the easiest book to write. Unfortunately, I’m certain I’d be sued so badly I’d have to have kids so that one day my great, great, great grandchildren could finally pay off the judgment. 🙂
Yes, it has pictures and pop up art. Normally it costs $14.78 but I’ll hook you up for $6.69.
Thanks you too.
The Art of Hoebedience (Make her act right)
I like that one!
Damn first twice in a row, that’s what’s up!
Me too. Few things are sexier than a woman who has bowed down and submitted to my pimp hand. That’s so fucking hot! =))
Maybe I can write that under my pimp persona. :d
If you’re first three times in a row you have to send me a pair of thongs. What?! I don’t make the rules. Oh wait, I do. Guess I have to enforce them. :d